“I’m unhappy but scared to leave him”

I realize how horrible this sounds, but I’m so enamored with my long term boyfriend’s friend…Starting to realize I always have been. My relationship has always been rocky (4 years of ups and downs) and I’ve had doubts since the beginning.

His friend and I hit it off immediately, and he’s honestly my favorite person. I genuinely enjoy his presence more than anyone I know. He’s apparently pretty average looking, but I’ve always been WILDLY attracted to him. He gives the best hugs in the entire world, and I feel like I just GET him. Continue reading

“Do I tell him why I broke up with him?”

My ex boyfriend asked when we broke up, if I could eventually tell him what he did wrong. In the same conversation, I learned that he has asked this of all his exes and that he does absolutely nothing to fix those problems.

I’ve been tempted to tell him what he’s done wrong,  but always didn’t, because I doubt he’ll try to improve himself in any way. I always try and take the high road even if it is rough and I don’t want to do it. Continue reading

“I’m falling for an exotic dancer”

31/M/Registered Nurse. I am just out of a 10 year marriage and have had a lot of trouble dating. I lost a lot of weight, improved the way I dressed, without any luck. I ended up befriending a couple exotic dancers that are much younger than I am. One of whom I am very interested in pursuing a relationship with. She’s in a relationship with another guy but is constantly spending time with me. Her partner and her have a very bad relationship and he’s very distant.

Almost every day she’s asking for comfort from me because he doesn’t support her. I give it freely but have made my feelings known but stated I’d prefer their relationship run it’s course before I pursue anything. I ended up inviting them along for a vacation in a city where they work occasionally. This led to her partner distancing himself further and yet another night of talking/texting/spending time together.

My questions are as follows 1) Should I even be pursuing a relationship with an exotic dancer 10 years my junior? 2) Should I press her to leave her current partner since she’s so unhappy?

“Is the grass greener on the other side?”

I have known this woman for about 8 years. We have been dating for 4 and have been engaged for 8 months, set to marry in December. I’m not sure if I’m in love with her anymore, yet I think she’s perfect. I can see myself living with this woman and having children with her but I’m not happy anymore.

Everything about getting married is stressing me out beyond comparison; money, a house, the wedding, every part of it. It’s draining me. I’m not sure of what to do anymore. Part of me wants to stick it out to make her happy and maybe I’ll be happy. Then another wants to just end it and experience everything out there. We’ve been together since before high school graduation and we are now graduating college.

I feel as though I’ve been tied down and I’m starting to desire something else. More and more women are catching my eye and I’m crushing on a coworker. I’m losing my mind and am looking for some guidance. Thank you in advance for any wisdom and advice shared. I appreciate it.

“I’m in love with a felon”

I’ve fallen madly in love with a man who served 26.5 years in prison for a murder (gang related) he committed when he was 19. The ironic thing is I was dating him when this happened. He pursued me for years before I would take him serious. He was trying to quit the gang life for himself and me.

I wrote him for a year and moved on with my life. Decades later he paroled and found me. He said he never stopped looking for me and always thought of how things could have played out so differently if he wasn’t such a fool as a kid. When we are together it’s like we are teenagers again. Continue reading

“I love him but don’t see a future”

I think loneliness has been accepting myself to get trapped in an unhappy relationship for years. I know I have the will power, but the fear of the unknown is really scary.. I have been in this relationship for three years. Wow.. I cant believe it’s only been three years because looking back, it feels like it’s been eternity. Him and I began as best friends and fell in love.

My boyfriend is a nice guy. He is loyal. He is smart. He is generous and also very easy going. These are qualities that I personally wished I possessed so I have always admired and appreciated the way his way of life brought me some zen.

However, as time went on, I realized that his easy-goingness really came from his lack of engagement to anything. He could not get anything done. Or he could not even start because he is “too afraid of failing”. He always pushes things to the last minute which always ends up stressing both of us out. I am not a planner. I am a Sagittarius for crying out loud. I like adventures and spontaneity, however, I saw myself gradually turning into a mom figure. Guiding him through very simple procedures of life, making sure to keep him motivated, making sure he follows through with his plans. It has become so exhausting, dragging him along to get things done.
Continue reading

“I’m pissed at my boyfriend who is smoking weed”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years and have a future ahead of us. I love him with all of me and would do anything to make him happy.

Last night we got into an argument regarding him smoking. He was not a smoker when we began dating, but during a short break early on in the relationship, he turned to it to cope. As we got back together, he felt he didn’t need weed anymore and “put it to the side”. Over the years, he has lied, and gone behind my back to smoke with friends. Recently, we agreed that I would be more open to the idea of smoking if he could maintain honesty and good communication about it, which I thought would help. Continue reading

“I got engaged and now I don’t want to kiss him”

In late August I got engaged to my boyfriend of a year and a half. He is twelve years older than me. I’m 25 and he is 37. He is kind, loving, funny and hard-working. Honestly, everything was great until we got engaged. I don’t know why but everything changed for me then.

On the day he proposed, he’d done it when I was struggling to stay afloat in a new job and without my family there. He knew I’d always wanted my family there. I also cried a lot that night before it happened because I was so unhappy with my job. I said yes because I loved him. I’d told him before that if he’d ask I’d say yes. It was a tough night and I don’t remember it with joy. Continue reading

“I want to end my relationship”

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6.5 years. We have 2 children, a 4 year old daughter, and 1 year old son. I am completely miserable with him and can’t bring myself to leave. He used to be married to another woman. She cheated and they divorced. A long time ago his mother told me that she was the love of his life and he’d never love anyone like that again. I told him about it and he said it wasn’t true, but honestly who would be dumb enough to say that it is true? Now after going on 7 years and 2 kids, still no proposal, and I’m starting to figure out she was right.

My boyfriend is obviously not very attracted to me, we have sex once a week, if I’m lucky, and the only reason that happens is because I drink enough to initiate it. I’ve lost the ability to try to have sex with him while sober. I know that sounds gross but it gets worse. Continue reading