They’ve been together for 10 years now, but he only chooses to hang out with her family about once a year. This time, he blew off her dad’s birthday dinner, but chose to attend a last-minute housewarming party for a coworker. Here are their sides of the story:
I asked my boyfriend to accompany me to a birthday dinner for my dad. Gave him almost a week notice because he is very busy with work. I don’t usually bug him about coming to family events because of his busy/stressful job. He told me he couldn’t go to my dad’s dinner because he had a lot of work to do, so I didn’t ask again.
The day before the dinner, he was supposed to come over after we both got off work. When I was driving home, I called him to see if he was heading out too. He said that he was at a coworker’s house for a housewarming party. He had been invited last-minute and was supposedly only there for 20 minutes, but I have no way to know for sure the length of the stay.
The next day, he did not go to the dinner. (The dinner was an hour away, and we would have had to go after work around 6 pm). My frustration is that he was willing to drop what he was doing for a last-minute event for a coworker, but was unwilling/unable to attend the dinner that would have taken about 4 hours of his time.
Side note: we’ve been dating for 10 years, and he has not met 95% of my paternal family. He has met 20% of my maternal family basically because we live in the same city, but he only goes to an event about once a year at most.
I have a very demanding job that currently is only able to be done by me. I go above and beyond expectations for the things that are due by me. I am uncomfortable meeting new people and don’t speak the same language as my girlfriend’s family. I have deadlines to meet by the end of the year and couldn’t afford give up more than 4 hours of my time due to work.
I was invited to a coworker’s housewarming party where my boss was gonna attend as well, and I didn’t want to let everyone down or refuse to go at all. I only attended for 20 minutes and then left. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I don’t understand why my girlfriend is upset with me for not going to the dinner.
So is this reasonable? Should she be mad at him? Or did he have a valid reason to attend the coworker housewarming, but not her dad’s birthday?