“Do I tell him why I broke up with him?”

My ex boyfriend asked when we broke up, if I could eventually tell him what he did wrong. In the same conversation, I learned that he has asked this of all his exes and that he does absolutely nothing to fix those problems.

I’ve been tempted to tell him what he’s done wrong,  but always didn’t, because I doubt he’ll try to improve himself in any way. I always try and take the high road even if it is rough and I don’t want to do it. Continue reading

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“My companion just disappeared”

I’ve been having a rough couple months. Nothing seems to be going right, and it’s been really hard to smile lately. My relationship with my family, as well as my lover, has been slowly deteriorating. I’m currently taking a break from any intimate relationships, but I was always, always seeking for a friend to talk to. It got things off of my mind, even if just for a moment.
It became a sort of coping mechanism.

One ever-so-fateful night, I found myself in some random chatroom with another person. We stumbled under the same topic category and he was very pleasant to talk to (none of my close friends were up at the time, or were far too busy for me to approach). We talked about absolutely everything. We had deep talks about religion, society, and any intellectual thing imaginable. At the same time, we spoke about quirky references and memes. It felt like we had known each other for years (as exaggerated as that sounds). It just felt so different. I had never connected with anyone so similar to me before.

Later on, he decided that we should keep in touch, and so we did. We added each other on a chat-based app and messaged one another. A couple of days hereafter, we became fast friends, to say the least. I’ve never been one to act impulsively, nor upon my emotions.. But something about our interactions made it so easy to open myself up to him. He asked why my lover and I took a break, and he gave me insight as to why I should love myself instead of worrying about my current relationship status. I’m a very pessimistic person, and he brought a very insightful perspective unto me. One that I needed to hear after all the other shit I’ve been going through. I hadn’t smiled so easily in such a long time.

Now.. neither of us were foolish. We didn’t rush into anything sexual. And it was absolutely wonderful how we could care less about being touchy and affectionate with each other. (We lived quite a ways apart, so I wasn’t expecting anything). I was sure to make clear that I wasn’t ready to be in any sort of relationship anytime soon, and I was happy to know he respected that. There was even a time when we distinguished that we fit into the “demisexual” side of society. We both looked down on one-night stands and summer flings. Emotion and a personal connection always came first to us, and I never sympathized with anyone so deeply about these ideals. Several times, however, he showed interest in me. They weren’t bold statements, but they were surely there. His cunning, subtle little flirts made my heart swoon. He had an incredible way of saying things that he knew I would appreciate.

For about a month, however, he stopped messaging me. It took a lot amount of courage to initiate conversation with him again. He didn’t reply the first time, but I caught him online a couple weeks later, and we conversed once again. He apologized for not getting in touch with me sooner. His reasoning was that he didn’t want me to emotionally invest in whatever was happening between us. But honestly, I was perfectly ok with being friends for a while. In fact, I didn’t really want him to be a lover right off the bat. Our friendship was absolutely beautiful the way it was. His company was all that I needed, and I felt as though he sought my presence, as well.

Days passed again, and it just seemed like we grew a lot closer. I actually started getting excited to see him message me back. This hasn’t happened in a long time. I’ve had feelings for my previous lover for 8 years, and I haven’t quite emotionally invested in anyone ever since. But this quote and quote “friend”? I felt as though he was about to beat that long-time record.

The first time he asked me to watch a show with him while speaking to me on the phone, I couldn’t stop smiling. He had stayed up messaging me and out of the blue, he proposed it as if it were a date. I later reminded him that I didn’t want to hurt him because I was still figuring things out with my lover (we are still broken up), and, as if to make me feel better, he suggested to watch it with me as my friend. I willingly agreed, but when the time came to watch it with me, he was unable to do so. I forgave him the first time because we both hadn’t slept the night before. He had slept through the appointed time. But, the following day or two, he brought it up again. He boldly suggested that we try again on Tuesday (which was yesterday). And again.. He didn’t show up. I just feel so devastated.

Last Saturday, I noticed that he wasn’t on my friend’s list anymore. My intuition screamed at me that he removed and blocked me. I pretended it didn’t bother me.. But slowly, I grew more and more disappointed. Everything had ended so abruptly and I was taken aback. He hadn’t done a single thing to upset me until now, and he seemed to enjoy my company. He seemed like a very reasonable young man, and I felt as though we connected uncannily well. I had never hit it off with someone this well in such a short amount of time, and now I’m just in utter shock. He’s left without a single trace and I tried to add him back.. Only time will tell if he’ll ever see it.

I honestly just wanted to get to know the guy. He was so intriguing. It wasn’t every day that I stumbled into someone who enjoyed conversing about deep obscurities about life,and then immediately switched the conversation to memes. I cannot deny that I developed a sort of crush on him; but being his companion was more than I could ever ask for.

Would he be worth pursuing? Had I done something to upset him? Would any of you have any ideas as to why he just up and left?

 

 

“My ex wants to shag his colleague”

Me and my ex broke up over the weekend but we are still living together as tied by a contract.

He works with a guy who he has never spoken to or socialised with online before all their interactions have been at work or with work colleagues on social events.

Within hours this guy messaged my partner on Facebook, which my partner showed me, and was the first communication ever sent between the two. That night my partner proceeded to tell me this guy was flirting, and after three days they are talking non stop.

He says the guy is just cheering him up, and is a friend even though they went from never communicating online to non stop as soon as we broke up.

While we was together my partner told me they had top 5 shag lists and this guy was on his, and he regrets not sleeping with him when he was single.

I’m devastated that it feels like he moved on within hours, and just can’t believe when he says it’s innocent.

“Are his lies a deal-breaker?”

He didn’t cheat, but his lies don’t add up.  I say lies because I know they are. He’ll try explain one thing but I’ll question him about it again and everything he says contradicts his previous story.

He argues that he forgets and his memory isn’t good, but there’s just this feeling I get. I do trust he wouldn’t cheat on me but I think he has previously texted other girls suggestively and when I question him about it, he brings up my past and guys I previously chatted to before we got together.

I don’t know if I’m overreacting or thinking too deep but is this a deal breaker? Should I end it?

“My boyfriend of 6 years is texting another girl”

My boyfriend and I of 6 years have broken up and have been broken up for almost 2 weeks now. We’ve been dating since high school. Ever since we’ve broken up, not much has changed. We still see each other everyday, he’s still on my phone plan (we have a great rate) and are pretty much on this break to work on being better so we have a stronger relationship once/if we get back together.

Yesterday, he kept telling me that he loves me and that I’m his best friend and that more likely than not, we’ll be together in the end. I felt that he brought it up kind of randomly and that there was something peculiar about what he was saying. With lack of better judgement, I look at his phone records and it says that he’s been texting someone.

He had been texting this person since 8am all way until 12 at night. This morning I confronted him about this just to see where we stand and if he is moving on to someone else. He says that they they are “just talking” and they are “just friends”. In the last six years he has never had any female friends, he works a retail job for his parents and only has 2 coworkers that he always complains about. I even looked up her name and the area that this girl lives in, which is not in our local area. He says that he loves me and just me and cares about just me and that he’s only interested in investing his time in me.

I find it kind of hard to believe that I’m the only one, when he texts somebody else 15 hours a day. He says it’s not going anywhere. And today he even texted her at like 6.30 in the morning.

Should I trust what he tells me? I feel that his actions/reactions are not adding up. Is it really that likely that if a guy and girl were texting for 8am-past midnight were not interested in each other? For those of you who are familiar with the show Friends, I am Team Ross. I don’t think my ex is doing anything wrong by texting her, but I don’t believe that he has feelings for just me as he is trying to lead me to believe. I am looking forward to hearing advice from outside parties. Please indicate if you are a male or female so I can understand your perspective. Thanks.

“I don’t know how to let go and be happy”

I have a sort of uncomfortable situation that I need advice on.

There’s this girl that I have been friends for a few years. We started with mutual feelings for each other. However, it didn’t progress since she ran off with another guy when I was with her one time and she also had unresolved feelings at the time.

It turns out that she has a personality disorder and can be unstable at times. I’m not perfect either, I have post trauma and been diagnosed with severe depression a few times in my life. I can admit that I’m a bit intense as well and not always easy to deal with. Continue reading

“I want my girlfriend back so much”

My girlfriend recently broke up with me after we were in the most ideal and wonderful relationship. We’re both seventeen, and maybe it was just us being young, but even people around us have commented that we seemed to have some sort of deeper connection, and the whole thing felt very soulmate-ish, if that makes sense.

The thing is, that we’re both girls, and things started to go downhill after my parents found out. Continue reading

“Do I deserve a second chance?”

I had a relationship a couple months ago with this guy that I still adore. We broke up because I have emotional and mental issues – I was abusive and controlling but for the most part, unaware.

He didn’t say anything but slowly got distant and did things like have a headphone in when we were on dates. I’ve matured and seen the awful ways I treated him, I’ll regret not seeing what a monster I was, for the rest of my life. Continue reading

“I want to get back with my ex”

My girlfriend of 1.5 years has recently broken up with me. After a few drunken fights, mainly down to us both, but mainly me being stubborn, she said the relationship was just too stressful for her and that she wanted to be single.

This has been a real eye-opener for me and I know I can be better if we got back together. She claims she still loves me and that she doesn’t want anyone else. We hung out recently after not talking for a week and it was awkward. What is my best chance at getting her back? I have some friends saying give her complete space and let her come back if she wants, but I also have friends saying I need to keep some contact with her so she doesn’t forget why she loves me. What do y’all think? What about social media.. is there anything I can do specifically to make her miss me more at this point?