“He says I’m selfish, but I do everything!’

My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage where I am the homemaker, and he is the provider; but, I work 20+ hours per week, take care of everything in the home (except for repairs/maintenance that are sparse), care for our 2 boys and 2 dogs.

He is home resting for 7 days, then works away 7 days a week, works 12 hours a day when away, and  where he stays is like a hotel/ camp (maid service and all meals provided). When he comes home, even though I work 5 days a week, I do all cooking and cleaning.

The only thing I ask, is that he bathes the boys when he is home. He becomes very upset with me, swearing and yelling, that I am selfish and he never gets a break. Am I wrong in thinking he should be doing this? He says I expect too much because he is home watching the boys all day when I am at work and he deserves his nights to relax. Should I just deal with it and keep doing what I do everyday whether he is home or not?

 

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“I love him but he’s terrible in bed”

I waited until I was married to have sex. I loved him, for better or worse for 10 years. He was terrible in bed. He hurt me. If I tried to give him suggestions in bed, he’d get mad and it would end in a fight. Sex always became a source of tension. I didn’t know any better and thought this is what sex was.

After a decade of fighting, we planned a divorce, I started seeing someone else and had sex with a stranger for the first time. It was earth-shatteringly good. Exactly what I imagined sex would be like and more.

But I reconciled with my husband because I realized I loved him. Problem is, he is still terrible in bed and I don’t know what to do now that I know it’s him, and not sex in general. I love him, he’s a great father to my kids, but sex is important. Do I destroy it all for good sex? Live without sex? Cheat? Help me!

“My husband and I are constantly arguing”

My husband and I of barely 2 years have been having several arguments lately. I know people say the first 2 years are hell but I don’t think I’ve ever felt this low in my life before. My husband is one of the most honest people I know, so when he told me that my weight was becoming a problem for health reasons, because my acid reflux was getting bad throughout the day and at night, I changed my lifestyle and eating habits and all was well.

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“I feel completely disrespected and betrayed by him”

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 3. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he and my children bonded quickly and the family dynamic between the 4 of us felt effortless and we were all happy.

Since we’ve been married though, I have found text messages between him and 3 different girls. I tried to improve myself to see if he would stop, I thought it was something I was doing to push him away but then I found out he was saying awful things about me and my kids to a girl while he was telling me how much he loved me. Continue reading

“My husband is an addict and needs help”

I don’t know whether to stay or leave……my husband just lost his job, after being there a little over a year. It’s the longest job he’s held since we’ve been married (10 years almost). He lost it because he failed a ua (meth).

I recently found out he was using and he promised to stop. He has now, for maybe a week, so I’m not holding my breath that he’s done for good. This isn’t the first time he’s battled an addiction either. He’s gambled thousands of dollars, clearing our bank account and right before Christmas.

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“Where do I fit in the picture?”

Family of 4, hubby quit his job 5 years ago to go to school. I have been supporting him emotionally and financially through that time. For 4 years we would talk about our dreams after he graduates, which has helped me get through this long journey.

But the past 6 months he’s been so busy, we haven’t been talking as much. I asked him about jobs he is applying for, and he informs me that all our plans we have been discussing are no longer an option  – and he is applying for jobs in places we have never talked about! I’m hurt, these were our dreams as a family, not just his dreams, so where do I fit in the picture?

“My husband is always on vacation with his dad”

I really need advice on my 5 year marriage. We are 29 and 31 and recently my husband has been going on vacation with his father for two weeks every year on the other side of the world. Recently, when my husband came back from vacation, literally the day after, he tells me that he is now planning on going on another vacation with his dad in Mexico very soon.

We have never gone on vacation together even though I have asked him on many occasions. It just seems unfair to me that he has just come back, we are in the middle of closing on a new house and I guess I’m angry because he makes no effort to plan any adventures or vacations of any kind with me. Yet when his dad pays for him to go with him somewhere, he jumps at the chance with no thought at all to invite me too.

His dad remarried a few years ago and has a bad marriage with his current wife, and he always seems to spend a lot of time away from her. I am worried that he is staring to influence my husband to do the same thing. As far as I am aware we have a loving marriage, I just get frustrated why my husband can’t understand that it upsets me and I feel excluded from his life. I know that if my parents invited me on vacation they would make sure my husband was invited too as we are married and to be honest I feel that marriage should include experiencing new things and places with each other. Am I wrong?

“My husband invites his parents when we go out”

Any time I ask my husband to go somewhere or do something we plan it out, but then he “uses the bathroom” and calls his mom and invites her and his dad along. It ends up that I don’t go. I do not want to spend time with them,  I want to spend time with my husband.

We went out to eat on Saturday night and I wanted pozole but he invited his mom and we went somewhere else. It just really bothers me.

“To move or not to move?”

My husband and I are having a very hard time making a decision. We need to decide within a month or two if we should move to Vegas or stay in San Diego. He is in the Navy and I’m a stay at home mom, we have two kids, 2 and 5.

He is about to get out of the military, and we’re not sure if we should stay here (SD) or move home (Vegas). We are very happy in SD, we love the weather, area, water, parks, schools, etc. On the other hand, if we move home there are advantages too; bigger house with yard we can afford, family and friends, babysitters. Continue reading