“I’ve started seeing my ex-boyfriend’s dad”

I’ve started seeing my ex-boyfriends dad.

Long story short, me and my ex went out in high school. He made bad life choices which inevitably led to me leaving him. He had a hard time with drugs and was a pathological liar. Our paths crossed again now we are in our early 20’s and he had changed. Well, he stopped taking drugs. We tried again and it was good, but I couldn’t bring myself to commit, probably due to the fact he is still full of shit. Continue reading

“I think my ex is hoping we will get back together”

I was born with two spinal conditions called Scoliosis and Spina Bifida Occulta. I broke up with my boyfriend last July. We were together over 4 years. He has Cerebral Palsy and learning difficulties. He didn’t treat me right sometimes (shouting at me and only thinking about himself) and I felt like I was making most of the effort in the relationship, and it felt like I was looking after him.

I recently went to bingo because I was bored of staying in and he was there. I sat with him and told him I just wanted to be friends and I didn’t want to lead him on.

He phoned me today and I answered, which I shouldn’t have done and I told him I was going to bingo tomorrow. I told him that because I feel sorry for him, and he doesn’t have much in his life apart from bingo.

Should I go to bingo tomorrow? Part of me misses him, but I don’t want to be in a relationship with him, and I think he is hoping we will get back together because he has put a photo of when we were at school together on Facebook. I blocked him on Facebook before but he kept phoning me and sent me an email saying why did I block him? Is it best for me to block him on Facebook for good? Is that mean? I just think he is hoping we will get back together. I have told him a few times I just want to be friends.

“My friends don’t care I was hurt by my ex”

I know there’s nothing I can do, but if anything, I just wanted to vent. I’m just feeling somewhat upset that my friends remain such close friends with my ex. It’s been years since things ended, but he cheated with my best friend at the time, among other things, so it left me with lasting insecurities.

I’d prefer never to see him or hear about him again, but we share so many mutual friends. I was hoping at least my closest female friends would understand how I feel, but it doesn’t feel so. Last night, I was out with a few girl friends, and they invited him out too. They got incredibly drunk and kept giggling about how much they adore him, how cute they think he is, how much they want to hook up with him, how they message him every single day, etc. They kept talking about it all night, and I felt so uncomfortable. I know I can’t dictate who my friends are friends with, and I know it’s ancient history.

Regardless, it was a part of my life that really messed me up, and I had hoped my closest friends would sympathize. I don’t expect them to never speak to him again, but I at least would imagine they wouldn’t constantly invite him to our girl’s nights out,  or gab about him incessantly in front of me. I just feel invalidated, like they never even acknowledged how hurt I was. I wish I could change the way I feel about this.

“My girlfriend wants to hang out with her exes”

All of a sudden, my girlfriend says she’s no longer happy with me and started to want to change who I am. At the same time, she started hanging out with her cousin more, who has just become single. He has many guy friends, which my girlfriend had previously dated.

Every time she goes to hang out with her cousin, and she tells me they only hangout at his apartment, she gets fancied up. But no longer does that for me. I’m trying to figure out if I could trust her now, in the past I could, but recently not as much, due to her wanting to hangout with him more when her ex-boyfriends are around. Can I get some insight?

My fiancé and I have fallen into a friendship”

I have been with my fiancé for over 7 years. In the beginning, we were madly in love and inseparable. As the years have gone by, I feel like we have fallen into a friendship. I do not ever want to hurt him. I have spoken to him about this before, and he became very upset and didn’t really understand it.

I am finding other people attractive and find myself fantasizing about other men. Recently my ex has come back into my life and has told me he loves me. I have always loved him, but I was hurt so much that I closed that all off. I don’t know what to do. Anyone been in a similar situation?

“I can’t stop feeling guilty for breaking up with him”

I was with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years (from 18 to 23). I met him while studying abroad, far from home. It was a good, happy relationship for the first 3 years. We lived together, we planned our life together, I was convinced we were going to marry and all that good stuff.

Things became difficult because he was a heavy weed smoker. Because of that, so was I eventually, but I didn’t blame him for that. Life was really not rosy … we had no money, he had no stable job, he kept changing them and quitting and stuff (I had 3 and that kept us going). We were both pursuing careers in creative fields, but neither of us had much luck with that. I really disliked the country we were living at (his home country) and was always from the very beginning very vocal about it. His answer always was — yes, I agree, we should move, I want to leave, too.

This went on for two years, but nothing changed. Eventually, in desperation I stopped waiting for him, found a university I wanted to apply to in Germany, started learning the language, and informed him of what I was doing. He didn’t try to stop me, but wasn’t too encouraging either, just a “yeah do what you want” kinda attitude.

But I still loved him with all my heart even then, and also felt loved by him — never was neglected or abused. There was just this crushing apathy about him that hurt me the most. In a year’s time, I found out I was accepted and realised I was going to have to move. I was delighted. I burst into tears, realising I could actually escape the life that was leading nowhere, working shitty miserable jobs just to survive.

His reaction, however, was unexpected: He was terrified and panicked. How can he move to a different country, he doesn’t know the language! What will he do there? I will study, but what will he do? And to top it all off, he told me I couldn’t just drop this on him so suddenly! I’d been telling him I wanted to move for 3 years, and that I applied to universities a year in advance. THAT hurt. And stuff did go sour then. We both became very hurt and scared for what was gonna happen to our relationship. However, we both loved each other, had a connection, and wanted to make it work.

So we tried. I moved on my own, with no help from him. I found an apartment, bought furniture, sorted out all the bills and legal matters. It wasn’t easy to be on my own after 5 years of having back up. And to top it all off, he called me to say he was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and me leaving made it even worse. Continue reading

“If my current relationship fails, should I try again with my ex?”

I’ve been online dating someone for a year now.

That aside, in 2011 when I was 16, I’d started online dating my ex. In 2013, the day I turned 18, I dropped out of school and bought a bus ticket to where he lived. It was great at first, but declined quickly as soon as trouble arose. For whatever reason, I’d stuck around for a few years after and only moved out and back in with my dad June of this year. I did love my ex, and I was sad to leave, but there was so much bitterness nothing could be done.

Back to my current LDR, I do deeply love this boy. However, I cry a lot since leaving my ex’s place, and every time I talk to him (which isn’t often, but sometimes he lets me know, because we did have a life together). Continue reading

“My friend gave me mixed messages, then said I broke the girl code”

Here’s some backstory so you can better understand my situation:
I used to be friends with a girl, we’ll call her D. So D was dating this boy, we’ll call him M. D wasn’t a very good friend, she was super dramatic, problematic, and argumentative and she also lies ALL THE TIME. So D and I met in 8th grade. In 11th grade, D and M started dating. They both went to the same private school but I went to the public school. Whenever I was around both of them she would start problems and run out of the room crying and all this other dramatic BS. M and I became friends, and D didn’t mind that at all really. Eventually they broke up, but I stayed friends with both of them. D encouraged me to date M, and said things like, “you two would be so cute together,” “can I be a bridesmaid in the wedding?” “when are you gonna date already?” etc. Continue reading

“She still has feelings for her cheating ex”

I met this girl at a place and we started inboxing. After a week-and-a-half, we went on a date of sorts where she told me she liked me and I admitted that I liked her too. She almost kissed me that day, but I backed off, knowing she had to sort out stuff with her ex. Anyway, the next day we met again and she came over to my place and she stayed for the night and for next few days to come we practically lived together going to work and coming back and the whole deal.

On our first night we discussed that she needed to make the decision that 100% being with me or nothing. After 4-5 days she meets up with her ex and she rediscovers her feelings for her ex, who’s a profound skirt chaser and had cheated on her multiple times and still she decided to go back while I was better at everything. Now this stuff is messing with my head I really did like this girl … what should I do?

“I have a crush on my ex-boyfriend’s ex-boyfriend”

So, I am best friends with my ex-boyfriend’s ex-boyfriend (I’m a guy). I also have had a huge crush on him since he broke up with my ex. I didn’t want to ruin what we had between us, so I never bothered to vocalise or display my feelings. Then, he got a boyfriend, and I pushed my feelings to the side and remained his best friend. Now, he has been broken up with his now-ex-boyfriend for a month (from a four-month relationship), and my feelings have come back stronger than ever.

I stayed at his place on Sunday night. I arrived at 1:30 and we talked until 3:30. Take into mind that we were sharing the same bed, as friends do, like. Then, we started kissing and after two minutes, he said “I can’t do this! I’m not ready for a relationship.”

And I said “Okay, that’s no problem.”

He then said “You can’t tell Shane about this,” and I said “My sex life isn’t any of his business, so he ain’t going to be finding out. Look you don’t want this so I’ll stop.” Continue reading