“He says I’m selfish, but I do everything!’

My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage where I am the homemaker, and he is the provider; but, I work 20+ hours per week, take care of everything in the home (except for repairs/maintenance that are sparse), care for our 2 boys and 2 dogs.

He is home resting for 7 days, then works away 7 days a week, works 12 hours a day when away, and  where he stays is like a hotel/ camp (maid service and all meals provided). When he comes home, even though I work 5 days a week, I do all cooking and cleaning.

The only thing I ask, is that he bathes the boys when he is home. He becomes very upset with me, swearing and yelling, that I am selfish and he never gets a break. Am I wrong in thinking he should be doing this? He says I expect too much because he is home watching the boys all day when I am at work and he deserves his nights to relax. Should I just deal with it and keep doing what I do everyday whether he is home or not?

 

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“I want to break up with him, but am worried about my son”

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost three years. I’ve come to the realization recently that I’m not in love anymore and am very unhappy in the relationship. I want to end things with him and am ready to move on and be on my own.

My only hang up is that I have a seven year old son who has grown to see my boyfriend as a father figure. His real father lives two states away and only comes home once or twice a month. I’m worried about the effect this will have on my son. Both in the fact that my boyfriend will no longer be around, and because our lifestyle will have to change pretty dramatically to be able to afford to stay in the same apartment and school district once we no longer have his income.

I know that moving on will make me happier so how do I do it in a way that lets a seven year old know it isn’t his fault and that everything is going to be okay?

“When do I confront her?”

I found out yesterday my wife just started sexting with a high school sweetheart from 30+ years ago. She doesn’t know I know & I haven’t confronted her about it yet. I recently screwed up our relationship big time (finances), so I have no ground to stand on.

She kicked me out for 3 nights, before letting me back in the house while we fix the finances, but nothing promised. We have a family picnic this afternoon (not at our house) & I’m trying not to confront her before then as to not ruin the day, for the family’s sake, not hers, but I’m struggling keeping it in! We have two older kids from her first marriage, & a 14 year old of ours living in the house. When do I confront her?

“How do I get him to communicate?”

So long story short, we moved away for around a year and opened a business, the business didn’t work so we have recently moved back to our old town and my fiancé has started working at his old job again, but with a promotion to management!

Recently though he has started working lots more hours because of the new job title, so myself and my son never see him much these days. I know as I am writing this that its probably all due to stress and tiredness, but it’s like he has completely stopped communicating .

He is such a doting dad but when he is home he just sits on social media watching videos, I ask him how his day was etc try to get him to talk, but I get 1-2 word answers, then he goes back to his phone, he used to take my son to the park and that has totally stopped now too.
I know he isn’t cheating or texting anyone because his phone faces me when he uses it but it’s just frustrating, I feel like the spark in our relationship has gone out and I don’t know how to relight it!

Can anyone help? How do I get him to start talking again, I don’t need much but right now I feel like he doesn’t have any interest in me anymore and I’m worried he isn’t in love with me anymore.

“He says we’re married, but we’re not”

I have been in my relationship for almost 5 years. We have 2 daughters, 2 and 3. We have been engaged for almost 3 years. He cancelled the venue & plans for the wedding about 4 months after he proposed. Said that we needed to work on our relationship before we made it legal, he has been married once before, so he is reserved.

Now, he says we are already married, that when we consummated, we were married. He has very different points of view. We have never taken vows or are legally married, but he insists that we are. He is constantly sharing his ideas with me, points of view on a variety of subjects but when I don’t agree, he says I am wrong and says I should think as he thinks.

On the surface, we are great together, we joke & laugh regularly & I love the family we have together. But any time we speak about important subjects like core values and beliefs, we disagree every time. And he says I am wrong, that it’s all me. That I need to take a look at myself and make some changes. But he isn’t willing to see my point of view, I’m just wrong. I asked if he would be willing to go to counseling with me, he refused.

I feel exhausted all the time. I am filled with anxiety at every moment, and I always have this knot in my stomach. He said to me a couple weeks ago, “it’s your job to make my dick hard, not my life”. That was a slap in the face & I haven’t been the same since, but he saw NO WRONG in it, said I perceived it wrong. I don’t know what to think anymore. I just wanted to share. I’m so lost.

 

 

“My sister is a horrible step mother”

She has a two year old son and three step children. She despises the step kids. When her child was born she wanted their father to take a month’s “break” from the other children to bond with theirs. He told her he couldn’t take a break from being a parent and would take care of all his kids.

She throws a tantrum any time he does anything with his other children or if they come over. She calls the seven year old fat, and has banned her from having snacks. Even though the two year old can have them. She has gotten so bad that she even makes up lies on them to try to win people over to “her side”. Like telling people the teenager is inappropriate with the younger children. Nobody but her has ever witnessed it.

I have tried to reason with her. She just gets mad at me and accuses me of being judgmental and keeps repeating that her son shouldn’t have to do without a father because his ex drops those “brats” on them constantly. It’s gotten to the point to where I am missing out on my nephews’ life because I can’t be around that.

“I am tired if being married to him”

I am a married mom of a 17 month old. My husband is 22 years older than me. (Yes, judge if you want. *rolls eyes)  In the beginning of our relationship, he lied about his past. I had to figure out his back story by myself.

Then he finally admitted everything. Like the fact that he owes child support arrears. I am the only one who works. I took out $100 so him and my son could eat for the week. Come to find out, he gradually took out the only other $100 left in the account. He claims he spent it just on food. But I know it’s a lie. Anyway, the whole situation is a long story. But I am tired if being married to him. I just don’t know where to turn to. I have no family or friends. I’m scared to go to a shelter because I don’t trust anyone watching my child. Any suggestions?

“I love him but he’s terrible in bed”

I waited until I was married to have sex. I loved him, for better or worse for 10 years. He was terrible in bed. He hurt me. If I tried to give him suggestions in bed, he’d get mad and it would end in a fight. Sex always became a source of tension. I didn’t know any better and thought this is what sex was.

After a decade of fighting, we planned a divorce, I started seeing someone else and had sex with a stranger for the first time. It was earth-shatteringly good. Exactly what I imagined sex would be like and more.

But I reconciled with my husband because I realized I loved him. Problem is, he is still terrible in bed and I don’t know what to do now that I know it’s him, and not sex in general. I love him, he’s a great father to my kids, but sex is important. Do I destroy it all for good sex? Live without sex? Cheat? Help me!

“My boyfriend is worried about our future”

My boyfriend of 3 years told me about 2 months ago that he wasn’t sure what our future could be long term, and insinuated that he didn’t want to marry me or have kids, or at least wasn’t sure he would want to. Ever since, we’ve been getting into stupid fights which is infuriating, because we basically never fought before this, and I don’t want to have to deal with this issue now.

I’m 23: at what point do you have decide if marriage/no marriage is a deal breaker for you if you love the one you’re with? I picture any and all kinds of futures with him, but those possibilities are starting to narrow as he drifts away from me. I should also mention that he’s kind of going through a quarter-life crisis right now (he’s 26), so with him being down on himself and unsure of his own future, I don’t know if I should take every single thing he says seriously. What if this is just a passing mood for him and I miss out on spending more time with the love of my life? I don’t want to break up with him period, but I especially don’t want to break up with him over this. Help? What would you do?

“My mom is holding me back”

I am a mother to an infant and had her as a single woman. I moved back to my mom’s, mainly to help her as well. My mom is disabled and needed some help, including financially. I had given up on ever dating another man, as it’s not easy for me to meet others considering how busy I am.

However, that has changed and I have met someone. I knew him from my last job as he worked for a company that mine dealt with. Nothing ever happened during that time, we had never even met in person. He has recently reconnected with me and we hit it off! He is literally the man of my dreams. My mom has always told me that she doesn’t want to hold me back from happiness yet gets upset when I go on a date with this man. Continue reading