Tag: coworker

“He blew off my dad’s birthday dinner, but went to a coworker’s last-minute party”

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They’ve been together for 10 years now, but he only chooses to hang out with her family about once a year. This time, he blew off her dad’s birthday dinner, but chose to attend a last-minute housewarming party for a coworker. Here are their sides of the story:

Chunkie says:

 I asked my boyfriend to accompany me to a birthday dinner for my dad. Gave him almost a week notice because he is very busy with work. I don’t usually bug him about coming to family events because of his busy/stressful job. He told me he couldn’t go to my dad’s dinner because he had a lot of work to do, so I didn’t ask again.

The day before the dinner, he was supposed to come over after we both got off work. When I was driving home, I called him to see if he was heading out too. He said that he was at a coworker’s house for a housewarming party. He had been invited last-minute and was supposedly only there for 20 minutes, but I have no way to know for sure the length of the stay.

The next day, he did not go to the dinner. (The dinner was an hour away, and we would have had to go after work around 6 pm). My frustration is that he was willing to drop what he was doing for a last-minute event for a coworker, but was unwilling/unable to attend the dinner that would have taken about 4 hours of his time.

Side note: we’ve been dating for 10 years, and he has not met 95% of my paternal family. He has met 20% of my maternal family basically because we live in the same city, but he only goes to an event about once a year at most.

Chubby says:

I have a very demanding job that currently is only able to be done by me. I go above and beyond expectations for the things that are due by me. I am uncomfortable meeting new people and don’t speak the same language as my girlfriend’s family. I have deadlines to meet by the end of the year and couldn’t afford give up more than 4 hours of my time due to work.

I was invited to a coworker’s housewarming party where my boss was gonna attend as well, and I didn’t want to let everyone down or refuse to go at all. I only attended for 20 minutes and then left. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I don’t understand why my girlfriend is upset with me for not going to the dinner.

So is this reasonable? Should she be mad at him? Or did he have a valid reason to attend the coworker housewarming, but not her dad’s birthday?

“I’ve got feelings for my friend-with-benefits”

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I have had a ‘Friend with Benefits’ for about 5-6 months. We became friends at work. Since we are coworkers and know our associates gossip like its their mission on earth,  we have decided to keep our personal business very hush-hush.

He’s the first guy I’ve ever been with and…. as cliches would have it, against my own better judgement, I developed some serious feelings for him. In my defense, though, I’m pretty positive he’s caught some feelings as well… at least…. for a while, it seemed like it.

The problem is, that when he was acting like he wanted more than sex and being extra attentive and intimate,and we were starting to interact more like a couple I got overwhelmed and pushed him away out of fear and because I believed that we were not compatible for an actual relationship. Continue reading →

“Am I in a toxic relationship?”

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My ex-boyfriend and I of three years have had a very rough patch over the course of the years. We were so very in love but he did not treat me the way that I wanted to be. I had a few talks with him about what bothered me but there was little to no change. I decided to end it with him and try to see someone else.

That was a mistake. We tried working things out again but I left him once again. The next time I left him again and it went from a spiral. He wants me to quit my job in order for things to work out between us because a co-worker and I tried dating and another one currently has a liking towards me. I see where he’s coming from but I feel like this will be a mistake in the long run. I love him very much and I’m not sure what to do about the current situation. Any advice? Do you think this relationship will become even more toxic in the long run or will this solve some problems?

“My girlfriend wants me to fire my coworker”

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My long-term relationship girlfriend wants me to fire a coworker. She is devastated, has nightmares, is taking medication… it’s more than jealousy.  I have a good friendship with said coworker and nothing inappropriate has ever happened from either end, but we did become good friends.

We have hung out numerous times in the past, with my girlfriend, as a group. My coworker has a pretty cool group of friends. I connected with her and her friends more than anyone else in this city and I can understand how that could make my girl uncomfortable. Continue reading →

“Her coworker threatened to kill me if I try to go anywhere near her”

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I was in a relationship with someone for close to 3 years. We had decided early on that we wanted to get married. Recently, though, she broke it off, shifting all the blame on me.

I took the blame, being the nice guy, and she originally gave me a chance to win her back. But soon after (the next day), she retracted any chance to be in her life. She said she had been unhappy for a while, but never told me anything. I didn’t see a big change, since she was always negative.

I haven’t faltered once in the relationship with love. I always wanted to be there for her, but she ended the relationship without any chance for me to try to make things better. I am worried for her, so I told her family about the situation, and even they don’t know what’s wrong. She won’t answer to anyone in her family, and she’s lying when she says she’s talking with her family. Continue reading →

“He says sexual/perverted things to me”

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I met someone at work a few months back. He works in a different department, but often comes around to chat with people. He’s been talking to me a lot, trying to get to know me, and I’ve noticed he seems different to me than to other girls. He talks about personal things sometimes, and lately has been saying some sexual/perverted things. Also, whenever he sees me or talks to me, he brushes his hand against my arm or nudges me.

There are times, however, when he ignores me — when he’s with other people (male or female), sometimes he pretends I’m not there and pretends he isn’t looking at me. I haven’t known him for that long, but it really confuses me, because it would seem as though he likes me, or at least wants to have sex with me. But then there are moments when he acts like he has a problem with me.

He teases often in a friendly way, but sometimes he is just mean, and I really don’t know what to think about it. Somebody said it might just be that he wants to have sex, but doesn’t want to tell me, as it might be inappropriate. I’m not sure what to believe.

“My husband is acting inappropriately with his coworker”

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I caught my husband direct messaging a girl coworker several times, but he deleted it all before I could read it. He insisted it was innocent and that he was helping her out, because she was new. I chose to believe him, but now I found out he bought her a big bottle of vodka and put it in her car at work for her birthday.

Now he says the same thing, that he was just trying to make her feel good, because she is going through a hard time. No matter what I say or do, he just keep insisting it was completely innocent. He also keeps getting mad that I don’t believe him and says I have insecurity issues. My mind feels so messed up and confused at this point.

“I have a crush on my boss”

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My husband is unaffectionate with me. Consequently every male person that shows me any affection I tend to develop feelings for. Usually I just avoid them until my feelings subside, but this time it’s my boss. I’m also having delusions that he has feelings for me. He is much younger and the situation is impossible. I am a little lost and would appreciate any advice.

“It’s been three years since our one-night stand, and I still can’t get over her”

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About four years ago, I developed a crush on a coworker. She was perfect to me in every way. She was seeing someone, so we were just good friends. Ten months later, she broke up with her SO and moved back home, five hours away. Another seven months passed, and I missed her so much, that I visited her on her birthday and we ended up having sex. It was the best I have ever had.

After that, we (she) decided we were better off friends. Since then I’ve gotten into a serious relationship and it’s been two years. I love my girlfriend very much and am very happy, but I still think about my coworker, and that night, and I can’t get over those feelings.

We don’t really talk anymore, but I still somehow can’t get over her, even though its been over three years. What do I do?

“I can’t figure out where we stand”

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I’ve been getting to know a coworker for the past few months, but since the start of summer, I’ve started to like her more.

We often have lunch together one on one, and recently have been going out for lunches that I’ve referred to as dates. She returns physical contact, and often, but not always, messages me first thing in the morning.

The problem is she lives out of state and goes to grad school after hours and has such little free time that we haven’t done anything outside of work. We see each other during the week, text a decent amount, and talk on the phone on occasion, so I can’t figure out quite where we stand or how to proceed. Any advice?