“She lied about having cancer”

My friend lied about having cancer and I forgave her. It’s been a few months, and I finally asked why she lied. But she won’t say why. I don’t know what to do, because we work in close proximity, so it’s hard to stay away. Not only that, but it’s not the first time. Should I forgive her or let her go? She is also one of my major anxiety triggers. Anyone with advice?

 

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“I think my friend is using me”

I have been friends with one of my friends since school, so the best part of 25 years. We have both gotten married, had kids and although we are not as close friends as we once were, when we catch up, even if it has been months, it’s like old times. Continue reading

“He calls me his wife and I’m not even his girlfriend”

I was friends with this guy for a while and we were talking one day, and he started being really perverted, and telling me that he wanted to have sex with me, and he continued telling me those types of things, even after I specifically told him I was uncomfortable with it. (I should mention I’m 14 and he’s 16).

Even after he stopped he was acting obsessed with me, he’d always tell me that he’s thinking about me and he’d put my name on his story every night and he wouldn’t give up doing those type of things and more, even though I stopped acknowledging him entirely. He even asked me out twice and I rejected him both times, and after both of those times he got upset, bitched about me to other people and said I was being “unfair” because I “didn’t even give him a chance”.

There really isn’t a reason why he’s so obsessed with me, since he started acting stalker-ish, I’ve been more of a bitch to him, I feel bad for being so rude, but he honestly just drives me insane, it’s gone to the point where he calls me his wife and tried to buy stuff for me (he tried to spend €90 on a teddy bear for me before). He talked about me to my friends calling me “the girl of his dreams” and other things. My friends are creeped out too, one of the best explanations any of them can offer is he just wants to go out with me so he can brag about someone actually wanting to go out with him. Honestly I don’t know what to do, should I try to never talk to him again, give him a chance or something else?? Thanks for reading x

“Shall I ask him out?”

I like this guy and I think he likes me too, but a mutual friend told me that he said that he’s kinda interested in me but I live too far away.   I’m a year younger and I am interested in him. I want to make a move and ask him out, but I’m too scared. We’ve been talking for not a long time.

 

“He doesn’t listen to me”

I just feel like my boyfriend doesn’t listen to me. We have been together 3 years and sometimes I feel like he just doesn’t listen. His best friend is constantly getting too friendly, if you understand what I’m saying, and I try to tell my bf about it and he just thinks it’s all a joke and doesn’t take me seriously.

“My companion just disappeared”

I’ve been having a rough couple months. Nothing seems to be going right, and it’s been really hard to smile lately. My relationship with my family, as well as my lover, has been slowly deteriorating. I’m currently taking a break from any intimate relationships, but I was always, always seeking for a friend to talk to. It got things off of my mind, even if just for a moment.
It became a sort of coping mechanism.

One ever-so-fateful night, I found myself in some random chatroom with another person. We stumbled under the same topic category and he was very pleasant to talk to (none of my close friends were up at the time, or were far too busy for me to approach). We talked about absolutely everything. We had deep talks about religion, society, and any intellectual thing imaginable. At the same time, we spoke about quirky references and memes. It felt like we had known each other for years (as exaggerated as that sounds). It just felt so different. I had never connected with anyone so similar to me before.

Later on, he decided that we should keep in touch, and so we did. We added each other on a chat-based app and messaged one another. A couple of days hereafter, we became fast friends, to say the least. I’ve never been one to act impulsively, nor upon my emotions.. But something about our interactions made it so easy to open myself up to him. He asked why my lover and I took a break, and he gave me insight as to why I should love myself instead of worrying about my current relationship status. I’m a very pessimistic person, and he brought a very insightful perspective unto me. One that I needed to hear after all the other shit I’ve been going through. I hadn’t smiled so easily in such a long time.

Now.. neither of us were foolish. We didn’t rush into anything sexual. And it was absolutely wonderful how we could care less about being touchy and affectionate with each other. (We lived quite a ways apart, so I wasn’t expecting anything). I was sure to make clear that I wasn’t ready to be in any sort of relationship anytime soon, and I was happy to know he respected that. There was even a time when we distinguished that we fit into the “demisexual” side of society. We both looked down on one-night stands and summer flings. Emotion and a personal connection always came first to us, and I never sympathized with anyone so deeply about these ideals. Several times, however, he showed interest in me. They weren’t bold statements, but they were surely there. His cunning, subtle little flirts made my heart swoon. He had an incredible way of saying things that he knew I would appreciate.

For about a month, however, he stopped messaging me. It took a lot amount of courage to initiate conversation with him again. He didn’t reply the first time, but I caught him online a couple weeks later, and we conversed once again. He apologized for not getting in touch with me sooner. His reasoning was that he didn’t want me to emotionally invest in whatever was happening between us. But honestly, I was perfectly ok with being friends for a while. In fact, I didn’t really want him to be a lover right off the bat. Our friendship was absolutely beautiful the way it was. His company was all that I needed, and I felt as though he sought my presence, as well.

Days passed again, and it just seemed like we grew a lot closer. I actually started getting excited to see him message me back. This hasn’t happened in a long time. I’ve had feelings for my previous lover for 8 years, and I haven’t quite emotionally invested in anyone ever since. But this quote and quote “friend”? I felt as though he was about to beat that long-time record.

The first time he asked me to watch a show with him while speaking to me on the phone, I couldn’t stop smiling. He had stayed up messaging me and out of the blue, he proposed it as if it were a date. I later reminded him that I didn’t want to hurt him because I was still figuring things out with my lover (we are still broken up), and, as if to make me feel better, he suggested to watch it with me as my friend. I willingly agreed, but when the time came to watch it with me, he was unable to do so. I forgave him the first time because we both hadn’t slept the night before. He had slept through the appointed time. But, the following day or two, he brought it up again. He boldly suggested that we try again on Tuesday (which was yesterday). And again.. He didn’t show up. I just feel so devastated.

Last Saturday, I noticed that he wasn’t on my friend’s list anymore. My intuition screamed at me that he removed and blocked me. I pretended it didn’t bother me.. But slowly, I grew more and more disappointed. Everything had ended so abruptly and I was taken aback. He hadn’t done a single thing to upset me until now, and he seemed to enjoy my company. He seemed like a very reasonable young man, and I felt as though we connected uncannily well. I had never hit it off with someone this well in such a short amount of time, and now I’m just in utter shock. He’s left without a single trace and I tried to add him back.. Only time will tell if he’ll ever see it.

I honestly just wanted to get to know the guy. He was so intriguing. It wasn’t every day that I stumbled into someone who enjoyed conversing about deep obscurities about life,and then immediately switched the conversation to memes. I cannot deny that I developed a sort of crush on him; but being his companion was more than I could ever ask for.

Would he be worth pursuing? Had I done something to upset him? Would any of you have any ideas as to why he just up and left?

 

 

“My friend is too demanding”

I’m a pushover that was pressured into sex with a very demanding friend that lives in a different city. He belittles me (saying things like “you need someone to take care of you’), doesn’t share my interests, and handles situations with zero tact (which annoys the hell out of me.) He’s embarrassed me many times. Plus the sex is bad.

He visits twice a year and to my dismay, we share a bed. He is planning on moving to my city in a year and I want to set boundaries. We have been friends for over ten years and I’d like to keep him in the background without the intimacy. He makes me laugh and we share a group of friends. I need to be careful because this man is vindictive, loud, and bitchy (somebody I wouldn’t want as an enemy.)

Can this relationship return to its platonic state? Do I tell him I don’t want the romance? Do I just phase him out? Cut him out of my life cold turkey? Help!

“Is he shy or just not into me?”

A friend of a work colleague asked me out for coffee after we spent an evening chatting on a work night out. We knew of each other before the night out but had never really chatted before. They’re older than me, but I know that they have a thing for younger women (this guy has a reputation for messaging women at night, randomly, nothing too creepy but still – not great!)

I went for the coffee and we (I think) had a great time. Chatted naturally and whilst the date ended with no physical contact (not even a hug,) he text me that evening to say it was good to catch up. I’ve text him since with a tiny bit of small talk but he hasn’t asked me out again. He hasn’t been creepy or inappropriate. Given his reputation I am surprised he’s not being more forthcoming… Am I being stupid why hasn’t asked me out again? His friend (my work colleague who doesn’t know about our coffee date) told me he was single, shy, and a really nice guy and I do get that vibe from him. Is he shy and waiting for me to ask him out? Or – just not that into me?!

His girlfriend doesn’t know about his gay sex”

I became friends with this guy who is significantly younger than me (he’s 25). I mention his age because I do feel somewhat maternal towards him. He’s in a swinging relationship and very open about his sex life with me. He’s also openly bisexual.

Recently he’s been having a LOT of unprotected man on man anal sex (receiving). As a friend, I told him I was worried and even asked if he was on Prep. (He isn’t. ) I also notice he’s lying a lot to me lately. (He’s very bad at it, lol). He’s also put on a significant amount of weight in the last 3 months. I feel like he’s in a very self destructive state. Continue reading

“Is this a friends-with-benefits situation?”

I have slept with a guy twice, the first time was just a casual thing. I am pretty sure I didn’t hear much from him after that, apart from the odd text here and there, nothing serious, but then he invited me to go away for the weekend with him and his family. I am friends with his sisters and have known them for a long time, so I went.

We shared a cabin and we slept together again. We had conversations that were on a normal level, and some that were on a deeper level. Nothing had been discussed before about what it is, or where it’s going. We get along well and enjoy each other’s company, which he expressed while we were away. Continue reading