“Is he shy or just not into me?”

A friend of a work colleague asked me out for coffee after we spent an evening chatting on a work night out. We knew of each other before the night out but had never really chatted before. They’re older than me, but I know that they have a thing for younger women (this guy has a reputation for messaging women at night, randomly, nothing too creepy but still – not great!)

I went for the coffee and we (I think) had a great time. Chatted naturally and whilst the date ended with no physical contact (not even a hug,) he text me that evening to say it was good to catch up. I’ve text him since with a tiny bit of small talk but he hasn’t asked me out again. He hasn’t been creepy or inappropriate. Given his reputation I am surprised he’s not being more forthcoming… Am I being stupid why hasn’t asked me out again? His friend (my work colleague who doesn’t know about our coffee date) told me he was single, shy, and a really nice guy and I do get that vibe from him. Is he shy and waiting for me to ask him out? Or – just not that into me?!


“Shall I wait for her?”

About four months ago, I started to use a language learning app. On this app I messaged this girl and we soon became friends. However, during all the times we interacted I started to develop feelings for her. I asked the people around me about what I should do about it. They told me that if you are certain that you like her, you should tell her.

I eventually told her how I feel towards her and she gave me a response that wasn’t really a no, but not a yes either. To sum it up, she said the distance is too big, so we wouldn’t be able to see each other and she’s not sure what to do about me confessing to her. We are still talking to this day, but now I’m starting to question myself with “Should I wait for her?” and “Should I just start looking around again?”

These questions stem from the fact that I really don’t know how she feels towards me, because the answer she gave me were right down the middle. I’m also paranoid by the fact that she may find another guy who is better then me and that makes me worry if waiting for her is worth it. I honestly do really want to be with her, but I feel like she doesn’t feel the same way in return. I don’t know, either to wait for her or just start talking to people again in a sense of dating.

“My guy is preventing me hanging with my friends”

I’ve been dating a guy on and off for about 7 years. He generally hates my friends, and doesn’t enjoy going to the events that I do. I used to make an effort to invite him/bring him along when I went out, but every time I did,  it just ended in him being rude and angry, and my friends not understanding why I was with him.

My friends hit me up to hang out all of the time, but if I do go out without my boyfriend he gets sullen and possessive. It’s gotten to the point that I find myself lying to my friends and making excuses not to see them just to avoid a fight. When I do go out I get anxious because I know that I’m going to be fighting to be able to go out up until I step out of the door, and that when I get back I’m going to be in ‘trouble’. Is it unreasonable to go out with my friends alone? We go on dates but he complains that he never gets to go out with me and my friends….I basically feel fucked if I do or fucked if I don’t. Advice?

“Shall I ask him out for a drink?”

I recently visited an outdoor food market by myself, as I was passing and hungry. While there I got chatting to a guy working behind one of the stalls. We talked for about 15/20 minutes just about work/where we’re from and other random things. He told me not to be a stranger so I said I’d come back soon.

Went again today and again, we got chatting about random things – he said how he was going to visit home soon etc. I left as I was going to meet a friend but wished I had asked him for his number or just to go for a drink. Problem is, I can’t tell whether he’s just being nice or is actually interested! And I don’t want to be rejected!

I’d be willing to visit again and maybe ask him to go for a drink. What is your advice? Has anyone been in this situation before? Guys, have you ever been asked out by a girl and been glad? And do you think it’s possible he’s just being a nice guy? He waved at me across the courtyard and seemed eager to talk, where as he wasn’t making much conversation with the 4 other people waiting in line.
Thanks in advance.

“My ex has caused me to lose all my friends”

I am struggling with no friends right now. Last year I was talking to this boy and he ended up hurting me really bad. In ways I don’t want to even discuss. For one, he had a girlfriend the whole time.

Skip to a year later which is now. One of my closest friends is dating him. When she told me I was devastated. Not that I cared about the boy, that one of my best friends can look him in the eye knowing that I talked to him, knowing how much he hurt me! I got mad at her and told her how mad I was at her and blocked her. Continue reading

“Should I give him a second chance?”

A few months ago, I had a date with this guy. Things were okay, but not fantastic… I never heard from him afterwards, which was kind of off-putting for me. I know he’s not obligated to follow-up with me if he doesn’t want to, but I still think it’s rude. Because of that, I unfriended him on Facebook. I honestly didn’t think I would ever hear from him again, so I didn’t feel the need to keep him on social media. He made it pretty clear that he wasn’t interested.

Recently, I’ve heard from 2 of our mutual friends that he started to reconsider things. He was going to apologize to me and ask me out again, but when he saw that I unfriended him on Facebook, he felt like it was too late and he missed his chance. Apparently, he feels really guilty and like he made a mistake.

I’ve always thought that I would give him a second chance if he just acknowledged that it was wrong to leave me hanging like that. I’m always willing to give someone a second chance, but I haven’t reached out to him at all since that one time we went out. Should I just let it go? After all, it was him who rejected me. It’s not like any of this is my fault. But still, I wonder if I should let him know that he still has a shot, but should I? And if I should, how do I do that?

“I can’t choose between the two people I love”

Since I was about 14, I met this guy at a party my friend threw. We clicked immediately, started talking and dating right away. It was innocent and harmless since we were so young. For the next 4 years we still managed to keep contact and be together even though we never formally “dated,” but we still consider each other our first girlfriend and boyfriend.

He got sent away to a boarding school last year and I was traumatized losing him from my life, I thought he’d always be there for when I was ready to be really serious with him, as during those 4 years he never really moved on or had eyes for anyone else. I saw other people but it lasted a quick month because I never found that “click” again. Continue reading

“My guy doesn’t want to have sex with me”

The guy I have been seeing for the last few months is hesitant to want to have sex yet, which I am very much okay with. The last thing I would want to do is have someone take things faster than they are comfortable with. We are both in our mid 20’s, and have both had multiple sexual partners before each other.

My concerns come from his reason for not wanting to have sex yet. When we discuss it, I hear a lot of “you deserve better than to jump right into sex” and “we often don’t see each other due to my schedule and it’s not fair of me to expect you to give it up on my schedule”. We have talked about how I’m very interested in going ahead and having sex, and that those wants are based on my own pleasure not his.

I hope someone can shed some of their own insights into this situation.

“Do I hurt the first girl and attempt to date the second one?”

Someone who I have been kind of friends with for a while ended up hanging out with me one night. We had sex and since then have been doing the whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing with no title whatsoever. I feel like she likes me a lot more than I like her at the moment.

This has been going on for about a month and last week I met another girl at a school event and we hit it off. We’ve been texting ever since then and I feel that she likes me, because of a lot of flirtation in our messages. I think I like her too, she is very attractive but I’m not sure what to do.

Do I hurt the first girl and attempt to date the second one?  Do I wait until me and the second girl are actually dating before I stop with first one? To make it even more complicated girl two, who I like more, and is more attractive, is only a sophomore in high school, while me and girl one are seniors. I turn 18 very soon but she claims that she already told her parents about me and that they were cool with us going on a date. Please help me.

“Should I cut her out of my life entirely?”

I’ve been working with this girl for about half a year. The first week we both started, I introduced myself, as I did to everyone else I didn’t know. She came up to me later and started a conversation with me. Asking what I liked to do, I told her I was into hiking and some other stuff. She was quick to ask when I was going next and with who, and asked that I hit her up and bring her. Continue reading