“My ex is toxic but I want to stay friends”

I have an ex girlfriend who is a very toxic person sometimes. None of my friends like her anymore, even though they did at the start, and not because of anything I’ve said to them (which was little) but because of how they have seen her behave. None of them tried to break us up and they didn’t even tell me until after I had made the choice to do so. Breaking up and moving to a new city two hours away (where my friends are) has not been the issue for me.

It’s needed and allows me to continue to progress and just focus on myself for a while. I just recently discovered the depth of her deception and lies and it of course hurt, now I’ve come to terms with it and can’t help but wonder if I’m still able keep a friendship now that I know she can’t be trusted? I feel like I can better protect myself emotionally, we had some really good moments too and I guess that’s what makes it confusing.

My struggle is with the idea of completely cutting off contact. I don’t know if I’m a fool to hold on to the hope she will one day mature and change her ways over the next few years (she’s still young) or if I should just walk away now and never look back. I hate removing people that I care about from my life and I never fully stopped talking to my last ex and eventually she did mature to a level I can be friends with her so I’m hoping for the same here. Should I still keep a bit of contact and give her the chance to grow on her own and if she does we can build a friendship? Or am I just asking for continued drama in my life?

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“Is he lying about his ex’s tumor?”

I’ve been seeing a guy since July. And everything is going really well with him. He had cancer and is now in remission. He told me he had a best friend who is a girl, at first I was (oh I’ve never came across this unless there is history) so I asked him and he said he went out with her when they were 17 briefly, but just became friends!

So I was ok about that, since it was years ago. Anyway, he told me she had found out she has a tumor in her cervix, so bad and big that it had hair and teeth! Continue reading

“Why won’t he admit he has a girlfriend?”

I met him in one of my college classes. We studied together, and the last month of class it was obvious he liked me. At one point we had a conversation where he mentioned his “ex.” We planned to hangout after our final, but the night we were all going to go out (our group of classmates), he never showed up. We never talked again after that. It drove me insane– he had easily become one of my favorite people. I did some snooping and it turned out his “ex” was his current girl. I was so disappointed but dropped it. He must be loyal to her, and I’m no home wrecker.  Continue reading

“I’m disturbed after discovering my husband’s social media accounts”

My  husband and I have been married for 6 years through arranged marriage. We have a son (5) and a daughter (2). He was never on Facebook, whereas I have been for some years now. He never seemed inclined and I didn’t fuss over it. However, a few months back out of curiosity I searched his name on FB and realised he had opened an account for more than a year.

When I asked him, he shrugged off stating he never really used it and had opened one on insistence of his colleagues and to connect with friends from his days abroad. When I asked him why hadn’t he added me? He just avoided it saying he never uses it. Nevertheless, I added him and though he seemed reluctant, he eventually accepted it. I checked his account and indeed most people on his friends list were his colleagues from work and few old friends. He had a picture from his late 20s as his profile picture (he’s 40 now). He hadn’t filled out any details and he hadn’t put a single picture of us or our kids. I was not too happy but I thought he wanted to keep things private and professional and let it be.
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“Do I fix or forget my stuck-in-the-mud boyfriend?”

So, in the nicest way possible, I think I’m dating a loser. I guess I’m the quintessential girl that always dates guys that need fixing, but it’s never intentional. The last guy I dated had suffered emotional / physical abuse and it was complicated, but very passionate and I loved him very much. I kind of walked into a mess on this one. My current bf was still living with his ex’s family when we met, but they had already broken up and he was moving out and back in with his parents before we even got close enough to consider dating, but I didn’t know all this until later.

We were set up, and had two months of mixed signals and odd communication before finally getting together. He was struggling in school and didn’t have many friends because his ex was controlling and also pretty mentally and financially abusive, so he transferred to my university to get back on track with his life. I go to the university he was originally going to go to before his ex convinced him to go to her college , so it felt like he was going full circle. He was passionate and excited and I thought he would adjust quickly and be fine. We were hot and heavy and in love and were a really cute couple, and I felt that it could just go up from there. So I thought. Continue reading

“My guy is looking up nude pics of his ex-girlfriend”

Baby daddy and I haven’t been together for a couple of weeks recently. I don’t know what to do, I went through his Google history and I found the weirdest stuff! He was looking up an ex girlfriend he hasn’t seen in 4 years, trying to find NUDES of her. He looked up one of his BEST FRIEND’S current girlfriend and tried finding nudes of her, or if she had a webcam. (She’s not the prettiest girl either).

Plus he was creeping on my best friend I’ve known since I was 14! And he knows her! He looks at porn regularly as well. I also think he has a Paypal account (why else would he go to the website?) I confronted him about the searches and he said, “I don’t know why i do that!  I think it’s because you don’t send me nudes and I like it when my exes sent me nudes. And you never wanna do that.” I told him he should’ve told me, but why MY best friend???? Or his friend’s girlfriend?? Is that some kind of fetish or what? Help me please.

“My boyfriend sent his ex videos of us”

I don’t know what to do at this point. So me boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We had our ups and downs. Before me he used to mess around with girls, had a couple of long-based relationships, but mostly messing around.

When we got together, we were bumping heads, but we did fall in love and worked things out. Recently there’s been one girl he used to mess around with — I found out that he sends her videos of us and basically gets off to it, trying to I guess convince her to get into it, too.

When I found out, I lost it. I knew her sort of because we’ve talked before. I told her I didn’t want them talking and she was being cut off after I went to him first. After the yelling, the crying, the begging, and him deciding to go to therapy, we are slowly working on this. And it’s better. Continue reading

“My boyfriend’s ex keeps posting stuff about us”

I really need help with this weird situation I am facing because I can’t handle it alone anymore. I am in the middle of trusting issues with my boyfriend because of his crazy ex.

So, I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now. He broke up with his ex, because (as he said) he didn’t love her anymore, and he fell immediately for me. At the beginning things were fine, and I was sure he loved me from all the things he would do for me. Only someone in love acts like that.

But then like 5 months after we started dating, his ex became part of our lives. She started posting descriptions on Instagram about me all the time. Like, he is still mine, he has been lying to you, he loves me, open your eyes, etc. I saw all that by coincidence. Continue reading

“I’m angry about my ex-girlfriend’s rape”

I’m not exactly sure how to word this, as it’s a fairly odd situation. One that shouldn’t be any of my business whatsoever, but I haven’t been able to sleep for the last two nights because I just feel so much anger and at the same time a deep sense of loss. Not for myself, but for an ex-girlfriend.

She was my first serious girlfriend and we had dated for over a year. I didn’t feel appreciated in the relationship as I was willing to do anything for her and frequently proved it, but I felt as if I never got the same treatment back. Eventually stress kept piling up on me between school work and our relationship, that I told her I needed a breather to get myself figured out. I realize now that I should have just talked to her about my feeling instead of bottling them up. However, she told me that she would wait for me and when I was ready we could begin again. Continue reading

“Should I make a fresh start and leave the love of my life behind?”

I’ve been in a two-year relationship with a girl I’m in love with. We used to argue about little things and disagree a lot. However, I love her more than I have ever loved someone in my life, and I can’t imagine my life without her. She has changed me for the better and taught me valuable things in life that I will never forget.

For the past 6 months, though, we’ve been on-and-off because of our arguments. Recently I started talking to someone else. She is a really nice girl, and we have a lot in common. I thought maybe this could be my fresh start. Continue reading