“Is this moving too fast?”

I’ve been sharing a bed with, and pretty much living in my new girlfriend’s apartment for our entire relationship.

A little background on us before I explain the rest: I’m 20 and she’s 23, we work at the same place and have the same shift with different days off. She doesn’t go to school or have a degree, and I’m currently a full time student at an online university. We have a ton in common as far as our interests, likes, dislikes, and hobbies go. Really the only other thing worth mentioning maybe, is that she has a 3 year old and shares joint custody with her ex boyfriend, but that doesn’t really bother me at all.

Anyways, I feel like I need some advice… Continue reading

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“He stopped talking to me when he got me pregnant”

My boyfriend got me pregnant three months ago and ever since we’ve found out, he’s practically stopped talking to me. He doesn’t want me to tell anyone about it, or even talk to him about it, and I don’t know what to do, because we’re running out of time and I want to keep it.

He’s slowly becoming more distant and people have repeatedly been telling him he should break up with me (they don’t know about the baby). I was panicking one night after we had a fight and didn’t know where to go – I messaged one of our mutual friends, (call him m) to look for advice. He helped me so much and ever since, him and I have been getting closer. I’m scared because I’m getting feelings for him, and losing them for my boyfriend. M and I have been talking a lot lately and I doubt he has any feelings for me at all, but I can’t help it. I feel like I’m stuck and I don’t know what to do. I just want to do what’s right for the baby and I don’t know if that would be me staying with it’s biological father, or me being with someone who actually wants it and cares about the both of us.

“He blew off my dad’s birthday dinner, but went to a coworker’s last-minute party”

They’ve been together for 10 years now, but he only chooses to hang out with her family about once a year. This time, he blew off her dad’s birthday dinner, but chose to attend a last-minute housewarming party for a coworker. Here are their sides of the story:

Chunkie says:

 I asked my boyfriend to accompany me to a birthday dinner for my dad. Gave him almost a week notice because he is very busy with work. I don’t usually bug him about coming to family events because of his busy/stressful job. He told me he couldn’t go to my dad’s dinner because he had a lot of work to do, so I didn’t ask again.

The day before the dinner, he was supposed to come over after we both got off work. When I was driving home, I called him to see if he was heading out too. He said that he was at a coworker’s house for a housewarming party. He had been invited last-minute and was supposedly only there for 20 minutes, but I have no way to know for sure the length of the stay.

The next day, he did not go to the dinner. (The dinner was an hour away, and we would have had to go after work around 6 pm). My frustration is that he was willing to drop what he was doing for a last-minute event for a coworker, but was unwilling/unable to attend the dinner that would have taken about 4 hours of his time.

Side note: we’ve been dating for 10 years, and he has not met 95% of my paternal family. He has met 20% of my maternal family basically because we live in the same city, but he only goes to an event about once a year at most.

Chubby says:

I have a very demanding job that currently is only able to be done by me. I go above and beyond expectations for the things that are due by me. I am uncomfortable meeting new people and don’t speak the same language as my girlfriend’s family. I have deadlines to meet by the end of the year and couldn’t afford give up more than 4 hours of my time due to work.

I was invited to a coworker’s housewarming party where my boss was gonna attend as well, and I didn’t want to let everyone down or refuse to go at all. I only attended for 20 minutes and then left. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I don’t understand why my girlfriend is upset with me for not going to the dinner.

So is this reasonable? Should she be mad at him? Or did he have a valid reason to attend the coworker housewarming, but not her dad’s birthday?

“He’s leaving to become a Marine”

My boyfriend is leaving soon to go do basic training to become a marine. He’s my best friend and I’ve always loved him as a friend, and even had a crush on him and now I’m falling for him. We have been dating for almost 3 months, which isn’t long, and I want to commit to him while he’s away.

But my mom says it’s a waste of time seeing as he will not be home for 3 months then 4 years. Does anyone have any advice or experience with this, because I don’t know what to do. Stay or leave? I have only felt this way about one other person and even then I wouldn’t go this far.  After that ex, I built up a wall, and after 3 years this is the only guy I want to commit to and be with. He tore down my wall and I want to be with him. Please help! I’m still in high school and I’ve got one more year then I graduate, and can move up there and see him every now and then.

Help please!

 

“My fiancé thinks I have too many issues”

I am a 29 year old medical student. Doing well academically, but this year has been hard. You see, after my sister passed away in 2013, I withdrew from medical school for some time, to take care of my parents. I eventually gave up. But I later realized I still want to do it, I made a promise to my sister I’d get back in it.

In the mean time I met this girl, things were decent, we had our differences, but it worked. She wasn’t career oriented, I was, and I eventually got back into medical school. I was doing very well, till the doctors told me I needed open heart surgery. Continue reading

“I’m going through a tough time and not ready for a relationship”

Sorry this is so long but please read. I need help!

Well, it started the summer before last. 2015. Me & my now ex husband split. I was crushed. So I spent the next 4 months piecing life together. In October, I met a really funny & great guy named Jamie. It took me a lil bit to warm up to him but soon I loved him. Was in love with him. That coming up March, I found out I had to have a partial hysterectomy. Continue reading

“She lied about having cancer”

My friend lied about having cancer and I forgave her. It’s been a few months, and I finally asked why she lied. But she won’t say why. I don’t know what to do, because we work in close proximity, so it’s hard to stay away. Not only that, but it’s not the first time. Should I forgive her or let her go? She is also one of my major anxiety triggers. Anyone with advice?

 

“I booked a holiday with her, now she’s ignoring me”

I am friends with this girl, we have been friends for almost 4 years. I initially met her through another friend at university. I feel like we are friends, I would consider her as more, but I know her tendencies and games and because I’ve had problems with her group of friends before,  in general I don’t think I could as much as I’d want to,

Anyways, we talk pretty much on and off, here and there, but there is never a hard dead silence, and she keeps telling me she wants to go on holiday. I have always objected because I don’t feel like going away with a female who is a close friend, for obvious reasons. Continue reading

“Do I break up with her sooner?”

I’ve been dating this girl for a year and a half, but I’m finding that I’m just not happy anymore. When we first started dating I was very happy, but over time things have gotten bland. We get into occasional arguments but they are all super petty and we end up having very unhappy evenings because of it.

We usually make up, but I can tell that some things we have said still sting. She gets stressed often and I try to comfort her and encourage her, but when I get stressed, I feel she would rather let me deal with it on my own, and sometimes gets mad at me if I’m in a bad mood. We know we aren’t going to the same college and so we figure we’ll probably break up after we go off to college, but I’m starting to think it should be sooner.

I need my space, but I can’t tell her that without hurting her feelings. She admits she can be judgmental and petty, but after a while it still gets old. She’s been going through a lot, she’s constantly stressed with schoolwork and even her family pressures her negatively sometimes, and I feel that if I broke up with her, she’d be devastated. I want her to be happy, but at the same time, I feel I need to be happy too, and I don’t get that sensation I used to. What should I do? Should I break up? Or hope that going off to college will break us up for me, with less hurt feelings?

 

“I can’t get promoted because I’m female”

I’ve worked for the same place for two years. I just was promoted when I found out that the position I’ve always desired, would be unavailable to me because I am a female, and this position is available (in our establishment) to males exclusively.

I have always declared my desire to attain the position and was only told, reluctantly, after many repeated requests about the position that because I was female, I would not be entertained for it. I feel extremely hurt. I have not quit, but am at a loss for what to do. I love my current position but know that I won’t want to stay in it forever. I want to grow and promote. I don’t know what to do.

Everything I do feels so tainted by this, and I’ve lost an enormous amount of respect for our senior leader. He is not sexist and insists I am doing an amazing job. He is respectful and kind. He enjoys hearing myself and other women communicate (I am communicator) and is very encouraging. I am so torn about what to do. Unless he changes his mind, I will not be promoted and will only be able to move laterally. I will never be able to have equal material benefits or social benefits of the title. It’s become harder and more confusing, and though I try not to be, I find it hard to be as excited as I once was, about the work we do. Everything is now yellow colored and dull instead of green and alive.