Got dating advice, yep. Now … need personal dating help?

Hi there! My name is Dennis, and I’m the creator of LemonVibe. You may not know me (nor do you even care to), but I’ve been at this whole dating-and-relationships-writing thing for almost 10 years now. I’m also a teacher and currently in the process of becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist.

And now, I’m taking all my years as a teacher/professional speaker/interpersonal communications guru/dating and relationships writer/dating advice giver, and mashing them up into a new service called Social Savvy Sage.

On the surface, I’m putting myself up as a dating coach. Woot woot. Okay, yeah.

But … unlike so many other dating coaches out there, my mission is to help people develop their fundamental social skills first, rather than offer generic dating advice or strategies. As my own personal experience and professional background have shown, if you hone your social savvy first, your natural attractiveness will follow, and your dating life can flourish without having to rely on gimmicks or fakery.

So if you feel you — or anyone you know — can benefit from a bit social skills coaching, feel free to check out the site!

And if you want to be super-cool, you can also follow me on Twitter or like my Facebook page.

“I think I want to be more than friends”

I started talking to this guy from my college like one and a half months ago, I barely knew him and never ever talked to him before, but it felt great texting and talking to him online. The very first day we kept talking for long and had even assigned ‘bye signs’ for each other on fb. He is an introvert and I was the only girl he talked to for so long.

The first month, since we were home, we only talked on social media. And then I met him and he was absolutely different than the person I used to text, he was definitely more closed, didn’t talk much. We met again, like 5 times now, and he is more okay with me now, is a little less weird. I like him a lot, he is my buddy, I like talking to him a lot. Now, I have reached a stage where I miss him if we have not talked for like 2-3 hours. I want to talk to him. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and message him first and he is the one I say goodnight before I sleep. And it has just been 40 days of talking. But I know for sure that he is not the guy I want to date.

Can anybody tell me what’s going on? Is it okay, to care for someone so much, want to talk to someone, expect and blush when they compliment you, want to go out with them but still want to be just friends?

 

“Should I stick around and see what happens?”

So me and my ex broke up 2 years ago but have remained good friends throughout it all. It wasn’t a bad break up, we had just kinda lost the feeling. As weird as it may sound to some people, we still hang out and talk, nothing romantic. We’ve both dated since the breakup, it’s really cool. He’s been there for me through a lot. Recently late at night he text me out of no where and said he wanted to marry me one day.

This really caught me off guard and I figured he wasn’t fully there or he was just messing around so at first I didn’t take it seriously. Then we started to hang out a lot more and he reiterated it to me multiple times. I’ve definitely regained feelings back and he claims he has too. But we’ve talked about getting back together and he says that he really wants to but he doesn’t want to deal with “commitment” and he wants to just “be a teenager” is it right for me to stick around and just see what happens? Do you think he’s being honest about how he feels or is he just messing with me?

 

“He stopped talking to me when he found out my age”

I met this guy a few months ago. He is 25, I’ll be 18 next week. I mentioned to him my age, but I guess he didn’t hear me. He found out my age on Christmas eve and cut things off (he has a kid and a steady job so I get why.) Since then he was short, purposely ignoring me, etc.

I had many heart to hearts with him, he changed, but yesterday he went back to ignoring me. He just would tell me he’s interested but he would still ignore me,  yet I know he is talking to someone else because of his Snapchat score. I got onto him about ignoring me and he got upset at me and told me he didn’t wanna fight.

This morning I got tired of it. I told him I was putting off talking to other people and it wasn’t fair when he didn’t care. He came back with “don’t stop talking to other people” and told me to go out and have fun. I told him I was going to delete him and that if he wanted to talk when I did turn 18, he had my number. That I needed to let go. He agreed with that. My friends seem to think he was trying to use me for sex. When I first met him he was all sweet. He never did anything I wasn’t comfortable with. Idk if I should message him after my birthday and ask him if he still wants to talk or what? I truly love him.. Please help.

“I’ve got no idea what is going on with my work colleagues”

Since a year now, this guy who is a manager, complained that a girl, we’ll call her girl A, does not like him. Girl A treats him indifferently. At the same time the guy was, and has been, becoming closer to someone we’ll call girl B; who has always been in love with him. This guy and girl B having a relationship now. It seems like they are hiding some of it.

Girl B thinks girl A likes the guy, and flaunts her closeness with the guy. But when girl A first met him, she had already mentioned that he is unattractive to her, despite everyone swooning over him. Girl B kept telling girl A about how she feels about getting him. Girl A was and has been indifferent to the situation. But Girl B acted threatened that the guy will like Girl A. Especially because he kept talking to everyone about girl A not liking him, even though he helps her. Continue reading

“Is he about to leave me?”

I’ve been with this guy for almost over a year now, and lately he’s been worrying me. For the past few days I’ve had to consistently reassure him that I love him still, and that he’s amazing to me. I have no idea where this is coming from and I’m starting to get worried that he’s going to end things with me.

I’ve asked him if everything is okay between us, and he’s told me that he feels like someone better is going to come along; making me leave him in the process. I honestly have no intention of doing that, I’m still very much in love with him, but I don’t know how to make him believe me. Everything I seem to be saying to him just doesn’t seem to be reassuring him, and I don’t want to lose him.

 

“This long distance relationship is getting too distant”

So me and this guy have tried to hold a long-distance relationship. We met in the summer ,but we don’t see each other anymore. I had mixed up feelings if I liked him or not. Now I am certain of it. When I first met him though, I was kind of conserved about my feelings. I still am. He never told me how he felt about me though. I told him through a text message that I liked him, even though I wanted to do it face to face but we can’t meet each other at places. I really want to know how he feels about me.

We haven’t spoken to each other in about 2 months. I am trying to forget about him but I like him. We did what any couple did except “that”. I never had the chance though, to ask him any questions about him. Even though he gave me his phone number, we hardly texted each other. At first we texted each other every week, but now it has lessened. I don’t know if he ever liked me at all or just saw me as a one time thing.

He is very optimistic about everything. I don’t know if I should forget about him. I am thinking that next year in summer if I ever see him where we met, I am hoping to have a chance to talk to him. The only problem though is that my mom doesn’t know about it and never knew about him and I. I text him but he hardly texts back. We video chatted sometimes and called each other, but we never knew what to say to each other. I still hold feelings for him but I want to know what he feels about me. . I seriously don’t know what to do.

 

“I like the girl in our friend group”

I recently went to Uni, and met this really sound guy who I get on with really well, though we obviously don’t know each other too well as we only met a month or so ago. He in turn introduced me to a girl and us three have been hanging out quite a lot.

Now, I’ve developed quite strong feelings for the girl. However, she and this guy are very close, to the point where I’m unsure whether something is going on behind closed doors (he has a long-distance girlfriend, though he constantly talks about breaking up with her). If I want to pursue the girl, what should my course of action be in order to make sure I maintain my friendship with the guy? I would definitely rather remain friends with both of them than jeopardise it for this girl.

 

“Do I tell him I cheated?”

I met a guy at work during a rocky point of my relationship, who introduced me to his poly-amorous lifestyle. Once we got to know each other, there was some really strong attraction between us, and after some flirting over a few months, we ended up dirty texting each other and slept together twice: once really drunk, and once sober.

After it happened sober, I had an eye opening realization about everything I was fucking up, and how much I love my boyfriend. So I ended everything, and will NEVER cheat again. Honestly made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. What I’m trying to figure out is if I should tell him?

I know 100% certain I will never cheat again, and that he is the person I want forever, so I feel like maybe it would be better for him to just never tell him, and that telling him might make me feel better about my guilt, but just hurt him and ruin us in the process. Just looking for some advice from anyone who has been on either side of this scenario, and how you think the best way to proceed is.

 

“He gave me his number then ignored me”

So there is this guy who I know because he works for my parents. He is 3 years older than me and super cool! We talk occasionally when at my parents’ work and what not. So over the New Year’s I went to a festival which he was also attending, we both knew that each other was going as we had talked about it months prior.

About 2 months before the festival was gonna happen, I went to a work function and he was there also, we were talking about the festival and he ended up giving me his number and said give us a call when you’re up there, if anything goes wrong or you wanna hang, and I was like yep cool awesome!

So once the festival comes around I was debating whether to get in contact with him or not, because I was scared he wouldn’t want to hang and because low key I find him attractive and have a little crush. I got up the courage to message him on the first day to which I got no reply. On the third day I rang him and no answer and later that night I messaged him on Facebook so I would know if he read my message. Again no reply. I was feeling kind of bummed because I was really hoping to catch up with him at the festival.

Two days after the festival I posted something on Instagram to which he viewed it, so I know he has been on his phone. Why do you think he would give me his number and then ignore my efforts to reach out? Also please note 4 days after my Facebook message he hasn’t opened it even though he has been online.

“My marriage is falling apart”

When I met my wife, she was in normal fit shape, and her natural body and face is 10/10 beautiful, like unbelievably so, to the point that she could get whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. If she could sing she might be famous. But I was not interested in her because she seemed so into getting attention for her looks. It put me off.

At some point she actually gained a lot of weight, like 100 lbs really fast. I was friends with her during that time (not necessarily close) and never really considered being with her, I was honestly concerned for her because she had gained so much weight incredibly fast and she would literally be dead now if she had kept that up. She eventually lost most of that weight. We got together when we ran into each other and she helped me with a place to stay on campus at our school, after a bad breakup that left me with no place to live for awhile.. As we talked, she explained how she had started focusing on spirituality in life (not any specific religion, same as myself) and I fell for her. I made a mistake believing that she had changed. I made several mistakes. I thought I would be on her side by acknowledging how her body had changed and supporting her to be mentally and physically healthy. Continue reading