“My friends don’t care I was hurt by my ex”

I know there’s nothing I can do, but if anything, I just wanted to vent. I’m just feeling somewhat upset that my friends remain such close friends with my ex. It’s been years since things ended, but he cheated with my best friend at the time, among other things, so it left me with lasting insecurities.

I’d prefer never to see him or hear about him again, but we share so many mutual friends. I was hoping at least my closest female friends would understand how I feel, but it doesn’t feel so. Last night, I was out with a few girl friends, and they invited him out too. They got incredibly drunk and kept giggling about how much they adore him, how cute they think he is, how much they want to hook up with him, how they message him every single day, etc. They kept talking about it all night, and I felt so uncomfortable. I know I can’t dictate who my friends are friends with, and I know it’s ancient history.

Regardless, it was a part of my life that really messed me up, and I had hoped my closest friends would sympathize. I don’t expect them to never speak to him again, but I at least would imagine they wouldn’t constantly invite him to our girl’s nights out,  or gab about him incessantly in front of me. I just feel invalidated, like they never even acknowledged how hurt I was. I wish I could change the way I feel about this.

“My girlfriend wants to hang out with her exes”

All of a sudden, my girlfriend says she’s no longer happy with me and started to want to change who I am. At the same time, she started hanging out with her cousin more, who has just become single. He has many guy friends, which my girlfriend had previously dated.

Every time she goes to hang out with her cousin, and she tells me they only hangout at his apartment, she gets fancied up. But no longer does that for me. I’m trying to figure out if I could trust her now, in the past I could, but recently not as much, due to her wanting to hangout with him more when her ex-boyfriends are around. Can I get some insight?

“I always fear rejection”

There’s this girl in my class who I’m absolutely crazy about. I want to ask her out, but we never talk, and I guess you could say she’s out of my league. I keep thinking that there’s no way she would ever say yes and that there are more fish in the sea, but I’ve never felt the same about anyone, and I haven’t met anyone like her in my life. I always fear rejection, and I don’t want to let it go, because she seems like the only person for me. Could anyone advise me on what to do?

“Strangers always think we’re dating”

I met this guy, we’ll call him Jason, about a year and a half ago. We hit it off immediately, and I had a crush on him since day one. My attraction was pretty apparent, but he always made it a point, in an indirect way, to tell me what his type was (which is the opposite or me), which led me to believe he was just putting me in the friend zone.

My friends would say he was a flirt, but I just took it as him being friendly, since he didn’t want “anything more.” So after that point we would hang out periodically just as friends, nothing more. When we hang out though, it is always a good time, and for long periods of time. He is the first close gay friend I’ve had, who’ve I’ve actually been able to talk to and share pretty much everything with.

Fast forward some time, we hang out, we get closer, and anytime there is any issue, he immediately wants to talk about it, very openly and wants to discuss feelings and resolve it. In my life I haven’t had many people, who I can talk to like this. Continue reading

“I didn’t tell her I’m HIV-positive”

I’m 27 years old, male, and HIV-positive. I met a girl and slept with her several times without telling her about the HIV. We used condoms every time, and I am on medication and undetectable.

I know it was the wrong thing to do, not talking about it. Now I am worried if I tell her, in an attempt to come clean and potentially continue a relationship, she could also send me to jail.

What should I do?

“I don’t know what to do with my life”

I am feeling a little lost. I have recently come back from traveling around the world after two and a half years. A large part of me traveling was the fact that I was in a job I didn’t want to do anymore, and my dad having terminal cancer made me realize how short life was. The glimpse of tranquility and calmness I saw on his face really made me want to feel the “sense of freedom” he felt from packing his bags with little money.

I went traveling and loved it. I studied photography — a subject I had huge drive and passion for. During this time, my then-boyfriend moved in with me, and it all went down hill from there. I made my life about making sure he was happy, stopped doing things for myself, and to be honest, just felt as if I was no good at photography. Instead of learning the things that I didn’t understand, I simply saw every failure as me being a failure, and in the end, the guy I thought was going to be with me forever left me. I do not want to blame him or anyone else for my failures, and I know that we just weren’t suited. Continue reading

“I’ve fallen head over heels for someone just under 30 years older than me”

I’ve fallen head over heels for someone just under 30 years older than me. I am at University still. It crept up on us, we were friends for a long time before, so no, it didn’t come from a bad place. I haven’t told anyone and neither has he, to respect my parent’s reaction and repercussions. Do I wait until I leave Uni to tell people, when I am a fully fledged ‘do-what-I-like’ adult? I have never felt so free and trapped at the same time.

“I think I like a girl at school”

It’s the second semester of my Sophomore year. I remember in my past years at school that every time a new semester begins there is at least one new student. The same goes for this one. It was a girl. English class began and we had a substitute teacher. I immediately volunteered to take the attendance sheet to the office, and was chosen by the teacher. That’s when I saw her, she was getting a tour of the school from a bunch of people.

The first thought I had was, “Oh, new kid,” though I kept it to myself. I went back to class and several minutes later the door opens with the girl I just saw earlier. This time, I had the chance to make a first impression of her. I thought she was clumsy and wouldn’t last very long at school and overall not the greatest first impressions. But then came the end of the day during Spanish class. She was there. The teacher told her to sit next to me. A friend of mine in that same class apparently knew her as family friends. That’s when I got to know her name. It was initially very awkward but I think all she cared about was getting out of the class as soon as possible, the same as I did. Continue reading

“Should I date this guy who’s younger than me?”

I met this really cool guy on Periscope a couple of weeks ago. We texted a lot, Facetimed, and we really vibed. So we decided to meet up and hang out this past week. It was cold and rainy so I told him he can just come over to my house. We hung out in the living room, watched basketball, talked, etc. Then it started getting really flirty so he moved in for a kiss. We literally made out for the next couple hours, him just holding me in his arms and showering me with kisses. So sweet.

Now here’s the dilemma. Yes, I like him a lot and he wants to hang out again BUT he’s 21 and I’m 28. Is that too much of a big difference? He says he doesn’t care about my age and he seems pretty mature, but guys are really good at saying exactly what you want to hear. I even told him I was concerned that we don’t want the same things, and he said “What do you want? A family? How do you know I don’t want the same thing? I’ve had my fun and I’m looking forward.” I just left the conversation as is because I really didn’t want to get too deep, too serious, too quick.

Should I give it a chance? Just let things unfold? Or should I just back off? I mean I fall for people really hard and I don’t want to get hurt again. I’m still trying to get over my ex too, who so happens to be a really close friend of mine. My friends are giving me mixed feelings. Some think I should give him a chance, some think I should run, and some think I should just talk to him to get over my ex.

Ugh this is extremely frustrating. I’m freaking 28 and can’t handle simple dating!

“Does this guy have feelings for me or not?”

Me and this guy have been friends for 2-3 years and last year I admitted to him that I had a crush on him. He said that he couldn’t be with me, because he was going to be in a relationship soon with another girl.

We stayed friends but not close. But the thing is that he never said that he does not have feelings for me but he always wants to be close to me, he stares at me a lot (like in every class), he’s always the one who wants to start a conversation with me, I’ve noticed that when people are talking to him they always look at me. Continue reading