Got dating advice, yep. Now … need personal dating help?

Hi there! My name is Dennis, and I’m the creator of LemonVibe. You may not know me (nor do you even care to), but I’ve been at this whole dating-and-relationships-writing thing for almost 10 years now. I’m also a teacher and currently in the process of becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist.

And now, I’m taking all my years as a teacher/professional speaker/interpersonal communications guru/dating and relationships writer/dating advice giver, and mashing them up into a new service called Social Savvy Sage.

On the surface, I’m putting myself up as a dating coach. Woot woot. Okay, yeah.

But … unlike so many other dating coaches out there, my mission is to help people develop their fundamental social skills first, rather than offer generic dating advice or strategies. As my own personal experience and professional background have shown, if you hone your social savvy first, your natural attractiveness will follow, and your dating life can flourish without having to rely on gimmicks or fakery.

So if you feel you — or anyone you know — can benefit from a bit social skills coaching, feel free to check out the site!

And if you want to be super-cool, you can also follow me on Twitter or like my Facebook page.

“I like the girl in our friend group”

I recently went to Uni, and met this really sound guy who I get on with really well, though we obviously don’t know each other too well as we only met a month or so ago. He in turn introduced me to a girl and us three have been hanging out quite a lot.

Now, I’ve developed quite strong feelings for the girl. However, she and this guy are very close, to the point where I’m unsure whether something is going on behind closed doors (he has a long-distance girlfriend, though he constantly talks about breaking up with her). If I want to pursue the girl, what should my course of action be in order to make sure I maintain my friendship with the guy? I would definitely rather remain friends with both of them than jeopardise it for this girl.

 

“Do I tell him I cheated?”

I met a guy at work during a rocky point of my relationship, who introduced me to his poly-amorous lifestyle. Once we got to know each other, there was some really strong attraction between us, and after some flirting over a few months, we ended up dirty texting each other and slept together twice: once really drunk, and once sober.

After it happened sober, I had an eye opening realization about everything I was fucking up, and how much I love my boyfriend. So I ended everything, and will NEVER cheat again. Honestly made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. What I’m trying to figure out is if I should tell him?

I know 100% certain I will never cheat again, and that he is the person I want forever, so I feel like maybe it would be better for him to just never tell him, and that telling him might make me feel better about my guilt, but just hurt him and ruin us in the process. Just looking for some advice from anyone who has been on either side of this scenario, and how you think the best way to proceed is.

 

“He gave me his number then ignored me”

So there is this guy who I know because he works for my parents. He is 3 years older than me and super cool! We talk occasionally when at my parents’ work and what not. So over the New Year’s I went to a festival which he was also attending, we both knew that each other was going as we had talked about it months prior.

About 2 months before the festival was gonna happen, I went to a work function and he was there also, we were talking about the festival and he ended up giving me his number and said give us a call when you’re up there, if anything goes wrong or you wanna hang, and I was like yep cool awesome!

So once the festival comes around I was debating whether to get in contact with him or not, because I was scared he wouldn’t want to hang and because low key I find him attractive and have a little crush. I got up the courage to message him on the first day to which I got no reply. On the third day I rang him and no answer and later that night I messaged him on Facebook so I would know if he read my message. Again no reply. I was feeling kind of bummed because I was really hoping to catch up with him at the festival.

Two days after the festival I posted something on Instagram to which he viewed it, so I know he has been on his phone. Why do you think he would give me his number and then ignore my efforts to reach out? Also please note 4 days after my Facebook message he hasn’t opened it even though he has been online.

“My marriage is falling apart”

When I met my wife, she was in normal fit shape, and her natural body and face is 10/10 beautiful, like unbelievably so, to the point that she could get whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it. If she could sing she might be famous. But I was not interested in her because she seemed so into getting attention for her looks. It put me off.

At some point she actually gained a lot of weight, like 100 lbs really fast. I was friends with her during that time (not necessarily close) and never really considered being with her, I was honestly concerned for her because she had gained so much weight incredibly fast and she would literally be dead now if she had kept that up. She eventually lost most of that weight. We got together when we ran into each other and she helped me with a place to stay on campus at our school, after a bad breakup that left me with no place to live for awhile.. As we talked, she explained how she had started focusing on spirituality in life (not any specific religion, same as myself) and I fell for her. I made a mistake believing that she had changed. I made several mistakes. I thought I would be on her side by acknowledging how her body had changed and supporting her to be mentally and physically healthy. Continue reading

“I’m a virgin and want to have sex and date”

Hello, I’m 19 and here’s my issue. I’m a junior college student who never had a girlfriend in his life, and is a virgin. I’ve been working hard, but now I feel somehow, it’s like I need to have sex, but İ feel that if I do so, I will regret it, in that I won’t focus anymore in classes, and won’t perform very well anymore.

I’m shy, but I do have many female friends. I’m a Christian, so it’s not good for me, if I can say so, to watch porn. But to ease my desire to have sex, İ watch porn and masturbate, but I feel like it aggravates the situation and I can’t stop doing those things… Sorry if you’re getting uncomfortable… I just want to say the whole truth.

What do I need to do? Have sex with a girl ASAP or hold myself back with all those desires until I graduate, and still wonder how I can satisfy myself with not many girls around as in school. What’s the best thing to do? I’m rather timid, and I don’t know what to do anymore. Being a hard worker is good in the workforce, but not with a girl, and İ have no idea how to deal with girls, especially when it comes to dating and having sex. What should I do? Again, sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. Thank you in advance.

 

“My sister’s boyfriend stole my wedding ideas!”

My boyfriend of 5 years went to my little sister 5 weeks ago, and told her he’s proposing. He brainstormed with her on a nice way to ask my parents etc. 2 weeks ago, I walk into my mother’s, and my sister’s boyfriend  is there awkwardly, and spills the beans that now he’s proposing to my sister too! (He didn’t want me to know, I inconveniently walked in).

I’m upset because my sister has absolutely no idea, and innocently was telling her bf about my bf’s plans and he decided to sprint ahead and get to my parents first, two days ahead of my bf!

I find it really upsetting, is this wrong? My mother doesn’t get what he’s thinking, he literally has taken all my bf’s ideas for everything that he was doing, as my sister was naively telling him my bf’s plans! I never would think I’d be upset by something like this.

 

“I’m dating two guys at once”

So, I’ve been dating two guys at the same time. I’m not in a relationship with either one, but I’ve been dating both of them. We are all in the same friend group, and have a ski trip coming up next month. Both guys are going. Airline tickets are bought and house rental paid.

Well I feel like I need to make a choice eventually, but I don’t know if I should wait until after our trip or what?

Please give advice regarding timing of the trip.

“I cheated because we never have sex”

So here’s the thing. I have a boyfriend. We’ve been together for 7 years and I truly love him, he’s my best friend. My problem is, we’re pretty much just friends. The intimacy is gone. On his end. He doesn’t want to have sex anymore, and even the rare occasion it does happen, it’s like a chore for him and I’m always left wanting more.

He’s gained some weight (which I find sexy af) and is very stressed out, which I’m sympathetic to. I just need some kinda intimacy in my life. I’ve tried to discuss it after about 2 years of unsatisfaction, he won’t even tell me exactly what he’s going through or how to help. He’s even gotten angry when I pushed this discussion.

I’ll be honest, its led me to infidelity. I don’t wanna leave him, I love him more than I’ve every loved anyone, but like everyone, once in a while, I feel starved for emotional AND physical affection, and I’ve strayed to an ex who I know still loves me. I always feel like shit after, but 6 months later I’m calling that side man.

Should I let him go, or stick it out?

 

“He still spends time with his ex”

Recently I’ve been talking to this boy. We’ve known each other since the beginning of the year when we met in our class. At the time he had a girlfriend, and we were pretty good friends. Fast forward a few months and him and his girlfriend break up after she cheated on him. Him and I started talking not long after (first just as friends, then it developed as more) and I told him I didn’t want him to feel rushed into anything and that we could take our time with a relationship.

The problem is, he still spends time with his ex. His family is really good friends with her, so they often see each other and hang out, and although he assured me nothings going to happen, it doesn’t sit well with me. They dated for almost three years, and it’s not easy to move on from someone like that. I told him them being friends didn’t bother me, because I didn’t want to come across as the jealous girl who always needs his attention, but in all honesty them being close does bother me. Am I crazy for being jealous? What should I tell him?

 

“My boyfriend thinks I was on a date”

Hi, I have a question. Is it wrong to eat out and watch a movie with a good friend, which is a guy, even though you have a boyfriend? Does that pass boundaries? Because my boyfriend got totally pissed. He’s aware that I was going to eat out with my male high school friend.. but he got pissed when he found out we were going to watch a movie, where he perceives the situation as if it was more of a “date” then a “hang-out”… Help!