“My fiance disappeared for several days”

My fiance and I have been living together since January 2016. A month after, he was sent to work on a job 600 miles away, and we only saw each other on weekends — which was also split up between time with his kids.

His ex does not allow me at any family events, like sports games, or wants me around at all. Four weeks ago, I was put on medical leave, and he has changed drastically. His relationship with his ex has gotten a lot stronger. He has disappeared and spent the night over there three times and not told me, answered my calls or texts, and then is angry with me for being upset when he returns.

He was supposed to come home for good this past weekend. Everything seemed good the night before. Saturday & Sunday, he did not answer my calls or respond to my texts. He showed up at 8:30pm Sunday night like nothing happened, said he was on a “soul search” and tried to be all lovey dovey with me. He left the majority of his belongings in a “storage unit” and took an Uber home. His Uber record shows him leaving from his ex’s house. Continue reading

“I’m thinking of flying across the country to see a my favorite band”

I am obsessed with this Aussie band, and they’re currently touring the US. I saw them last week in Boston, and it was a great night. I had a lot of fun, but it didn’t go exactly the way I thought it would. We got really drunk, missed part of the set, and although I got to meet some of the band members, I really had my heart set on meeting the singer.

My friend, with the best of intentions, tried to make that happen, though in a pretty explicit manner. I still cringe at how she behaved. I feel like the impression we left was unsatisfactory, and I can’t stop thinking about how differently I wish everything had played out. You know, much more like what I had envisioned in my head.

They play in San Diego in a couple of weeks, and I am so tempted to see them play their last show. I live on the east coast, so I feel like it’s a really big deal to fly out to Cali for only a night. In fact, I feel like it’s rather insane, but something is nagging inside of me to be daring, and just do it. I had a dream about it, and it’s what prompted me to consider it. I can technically afford it. I can probably get the time off of work, too. And loads of people do stuff like this, so why not me? Continue reading

“He asked for pictures of my underwear”

I’m a freshman in high school and a boy I like who’s a sophomore has been Snapchatting me for a couple of weeks now. I thought he might like me, too, but last night he asked for pictures of my underwear. I said no because I’m not like that. I’m scared that since I won’t send him pictures, he might not want to talk to me. What should I do? PLEASE HELP!

“His friend accused me of being manipulative”

I met this guy playing an online game. I was attracted to his personality right away, but for him it took a little longer to reciprocate. After a few months though we had grown closer and I confessed my crush. We started an online relationship where the pros vastly outnumbered the cons of such an arrangement.

I’m gay but my family and for the most part my friends don’t know. His family knows he is gay, but he is very shy and introverted. So even though an online relationship isn’t ideal, it really kind of worked for us both. Everything felt amazing. He was amazing! We talked everyday for hours. He was constantly on my mind. He was the best thing about my life. Yes we had disagreements but we always worked through them.

Then one day things changed, it wasn’t gradual. Suddenly he felt like a completely different person who was only trying to pretend to be the person from before. Bad things were going on in his life and I held out hope that once they were worked out he would be himself again. It never happened. We tried to continue on, adapt to the way things were now. I loved him so much and didn’t want to lose him, but depression was consuming him. He felt guilty for changing and thought it wasn’t fair to me so we decided to take a break. Continue reading

“I just feel so alone lately”

I just feel so alone lately. I’ve had issues with depression and anxiety the majority of my life, and I’m sure that plays a factor in the way I’m feeling, but I kind of have just lost hope in people. I don’t feel close to my friends anymore and anytime I have tried to reach out I haven’t really gotten a response.

I so desperately want to just go somewhere new and start over, but I can’t. I mean, I’m a senior in high school, so I guess next year I will for college, but I have a while to get through before that. I don’t live in a very big town, it’s not easy for me to just go out and make new friends. I feel like lately my anxiety has gotten bad enough that it’s hard to talk around even my close friends. I hate everything I say and feel stupid for saying anything. I’m not close with my family either, I have a really bad relationship with my mom and am not close with my siblings. I just don’t want to do this, or be this way. I don’t think anyone cares about me.

“I’m still uncomfortable about something that happened to me when I was five years old”

When I was young boy (around 5) a girl a year older made me kiss her on the ass. I was really uncomfortable with it, but she said I had to and so I did. I don’t think it would have been such a big deal to me, but shortly after she told everyone that I had done it against her will. I thought I was going to go to jail or be arrested or something, but obviously nobody believed her.

I felt really guilty and bad about it for many years, but eventually managed to forget about it entirely after my family moved to another city. Now I’m 17 years old, and recently met up with other people that were in my class, and all of this was stirred up. Even though it seems like a childish thing now, I still feel all mixed up about it. For some reason I have never felt comfortable enough to tell anybody about it. I don’t know if I should contact the person and talk about it, talk with friends about it, keep trying to convince myself that it wasn’t a big deal, or just ignore it. I’m not sure if that is some kind of unintentional child-child abuse, or what to do to about these persistent feelings. I suppose any ol’ input or advice would be appreciated.

“My girlfriend imagines us married”

I have been dating my girlfriend for four and a half years. We are now both sophomores that attend different colleges (about an hour and a half away from each other). I can’t seem to tell if I have just grown comfortable with a relationship of over four years, or if I really do still want to be with her.

In addition, we have so many other ties to each other that are making this decision extremely difficult. We share the same friend group back home, I practically grew up with her, my family pretty much already considers her my future wife, and I am also fairly close to her family.

I recently met another girl (a senior) in one of my classes, who I am pretty much infatuated with. We talk regularly, and I am not sure what to do. Also, I know this is wrong of me, but this new girl isn’t even more attractive than my current girlfriend. There is just something about her that I am completely driven to pursue. Continue reading

“I forgave my boyfriend for cheating on me”

My boyfriend cheated on me and ever since that I’ve had a weird relationship with him. I forgave him, and we are talking again, and I am in love with him, but I don’t how if he still is in love with me.

He talks to me like I’m his girlfriend, but doesn’t give me as much attention. He’ll also make dumb mistakes and I keep forgiving him, but now I’m starting to question if he is just using me for sexual purposes. I don’t know if I should confront him about it because we are on good terms and I don’t want to randomly bring it up, so I am not sure what to do.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

“I’m falling in love with a girl I just met”

I just ended my relationship, now I think I might be in love again, and I don’t know what to do. I just moved to a different country, and even though I tried to make it work long distance with my girlfriend, we didn’t make it. It was a pretty tough thing, but that’s life.

I think I’m just missing someone in my life, because a few days ago I met this girl, and think I’m falling in love with her. The thing is, she’s not interested in me, and I don’t know what to do because I don’t know how to date anymore after being in a relationship for so long. And worse yet, she seems really interested in my friend (who knows I like her and is not doing anything, but still I feel really bad watching her flirt with him). Continue reading

“I can’t get over my first love”

So, recently my first love contacted me. He pretty much ended our relationship on a terrible note, and left me crushed in the wake. The relationship itself was rocky but we were young, fresh out of school, and had different interests. He was a gamer, I was a partier. Though I did like gaming, I much preferred just being social and surrounded by people. We had our normal conflicts. I trusted him until the end of the relationship after I found out he had almost hooked up with a girl at a mutual friend’s party during one of our breaks (so that was never an issue in the relationship until the end). I had been very open with him during our times of separation and just expected the same amount of respect back. So once I found that out, I got paranoid and I knew it was going downhill. We broke up two months later.

He grew up in an emotionally and mentally abusive home with an alcoholic and had childhood traumas I couldn’t even touch, but I tried so hard to support him and be patient through all of his struggles. I wanted to be there for him as much as possible because I loved him, I still love him to this day. I’m by no means insinuating I was perfect, my family isn’t “good.” On more than one occasion, under the influence of alcohol, he had outbursts at me, never hitting me, but he would choke me. He never knocked me out or really hurt me, it was more of a restraint hold… And I would leave and eventually forgive him because I knew he didn’t know how to properly manage his emotions (in a matter of five years, this happened four times – no excuses just letting you know) and to me, when you love someone, you fight through the bad because they are worth it and obviously I knew of his past, so I was willing to try. Continue reading