“Our argument ended in violence”

My boyfriend and I got into an argument, and long story short, he ended up saying something along the lines of “at least I’m not a depressed bitch, waaah look at me, I have depression”, and I ended up hitting him in the face.

From that, he immediately got up and whacked me with a chair a couple of times. I couldn’t believe what I had done and I immediately said I was a monster and that he should just leave me. He refused, and even comforted my undeserving, crying, pathetic ass. I even told him to punch me in the face right back for it, which he did. He totally forgave me and said to not even worry about it, but I can’t forgive myself. What should I do? (Give me your honest answer, and don’t mention what he did because it isn’t the problem here.)

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“Is my boyfriend undeserving of me?”

I have been with my boyfriend almost a year. He means so much to me, I can’t think what I would do without him. But I feel like I am constantly doing things wrong . He tells me I’m dumb quite a lot, an example is when I drop things on the floor (this is something I’ve always done and I try so hard not to do it, but I was diagnosed with dyspraxia from a young age.)

He shouts at me a lot and tells me that he shouts because of his mental health… I’m a mental health student nurse and I try so hard to understand it. I feel like I’m doing everything wrong as a nurse, as I can’t understand. He also tells me I can’t be a good nurse if I don’t understand. Continue reading

“I love him but his eyelids disgust me”

We’ve been dating over a year and moved in together a couple months ago. We get along great, never fight, he is very attractive to me, we have great sex, we are emotionally open, have a lot of fun, and I honestly couldn’t get along better with a boyfriend if I tried.

But myy boyfriend has really noticeable veiny eyelids, and whenever he raises his eyebrows they show up like “Bam! Here I am!” I’ve started obsessing over the veins and hating to go in the daylight with him because I know when he raises his eyebrows his veins are gonna disgust me. I’ve tried ignoring them, tried to make them into something funny in my head, tried to trick myself into thinking they make him unique but I always go back to “ugh, I’m probably gonna have to stare at those forever if we stay together”.

But, I know that if I break up with him I’d lose a wonderful man. He’s so kind, smart, would do anything for me… and I feel like I’m being shallow and I don’t know what to do. I have told him about how I feel and he said “well there’s nothing I can do about those” and he’s right… So what do I do? I know most people will say “either get over it now or move on” but I can’t get myself to do either.

“Am I being anal retentive about the car we share?”

I have a sweet boyfriend who is a part time mechanic. He bought a cheap old car, fixed it up a bit and lets me drive it. We live some thirty kilometers apart and it takes forever to get home on my scooter. We split the insurance and road taxes. I pay the gasoline and drive him to and from work.

But it bothers me something awful, whenever we talk to people, he says that it is his car and he just lets me drive it. It makes me feel like I am a little gold digger. I am paying half the expenses and all the gasoline. Am I being anal retentive if I would like him to say OUR car??

“Torn between believing he is interested in me or not”

I’m 16; a high school student, inexperienced with relationships and boys. I mean I have some, such as my first kiss (at 13) and “hooking up” (making out) on a cruise when I was 14. Nothing else happened, until now. This boy (also 16) added me on Instagram and Snapchat and we started talking. It went great, we had similar interests such as sports and dancing. He was also really funny. I learnt that he loves kids which was something I took note on. He even sent me a video of him playing with his niece. He bought his mom shoes for her birthday recently too. He seemed nice, caring AND met all the standards I looked for in a boy. One day he asked me if “we could chill at his house”. Continue reading

“I’m worried he’s trying to control me”

I’ve been dating this boy for 6 months (longest and most serious relationship I’ve ever been in) and we get along really well and are very happy together, but I have my doubts sometimes on the likelihood that this will last, because we have pretty different views on things, and he is very stubborn.

There have been a few things where he asked if I could stop/start doing something because it made him uncomfortable and I have done that. But the couple of times I’ve told him something he does that bothers me, he gets very upset that I’m criticizing him or “trying to change him,” until i just give up, so he never makes any compromises for me like that. Continue reading

“Love at first sight and love at first read”

The guy I’m in love with doesn’t want me, and the guy who wants me I don’t give a damn about. I have this quasi relationship with a guy friend I went to high school with. He always tells me how cute and sexy I am but I know that’s all he thinks of me, he’s told me he doesn’t have romantic feelings. I’m only half-attracted to him physically even, but we’re both lonely and we both need a warm body in bed sometimes.

Meanwhile, there’s this OTHER guy. It was love at first sight. He’s contributed articles to a political newsletter I intern for, and when I read his writing, it was love at first read. He’s genuinely the smartest person I know, with a really cool taste and music and style, and really cute, boy next door good looks. I went out with him once and had a great time, and I thought he felt the same, but he said he was too busy right now to try to start a relationship. Besides, he’s planning to move across the country in a year or so for school.

I basically understand I should cut it off with the first guy, although it is hard when I know the alternative is being alone. I do not know what I should do about this other guy who I fell in love with at first sight who does not have time for me.

“Is his bad attitude a deal breaker?”

I have been dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years and this is my first serious relationship. I worry a lot about what’s normal and what I should expect from him. He does some “typical” boyfriend things like opening a door for me. He is really nice to me for the most part.

However, if he does something I don’t like, even when I ask him to stop, he continues doing it. He doesn’t fight fair at all, and he holds grudges forever. I am happy with him, but he also makes me extremely sad and angry sometimes. He is mean to my friends and he thinks this is okay because him and his friends are mean to each other. Continue reading

“I have a gay crush”

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. Recently, there’s this new guy who is a total sweetheart and I catch myself thinking about him from time to time. We’ve become good friends for the past few months and I’ve been having these “what ifs”.

I’ve told my boyfriend about my conflicted feelings and he says he’ll stand by decision regardless, which makes me feel all the more guilty. I would really like to be rid of this ridiculous crush once and for all but I don’t know how.

“He cheated, it’s in the past, but I’m struggling to move on”

I found out over a year ago that my partner had cheated on me. I’m still struggling with it, and I’d like some advice from an unbiased source. The way in which I found out was teen-soap-opera levels of melodramatic, but I’ll leave it at this: I found out, confronted him that night, and after several nights of conversation we decided to work through the issues and stay together.

Fast forward to now, and we’re getting close to 3 years. The love I feel between us is so strong and sincere that I get emotional thinking about it. I’ve had my fair share of shitty guys who lent a hand in warping my perception of myself and my worth, but this man has helped me feel loved in the skin I’m in now, and I’m so unconditionally cared for. We live in our own places but I’m there often enough to feel like I live there, with my own set of keys. We spend so much time with each other and I really do cherish every moment. Continue reading