“I love him, but he’s lazy with no ambition”

Hello, first time here. My boyfriend and I are both 21, dating for a little over 2 years now. I am in school and have future goals, while working part time and freelancing for myself. On the other hand, my boyfriend has been jobless for over a year now, not in school and lacks motivation and ambition.

I love him very, very much, but this is really starting to bug me as I think it would for anyone. I just do not know what to do anymore, we have talked about it many times and have gotten into arguments about it as well because he gets annoyed or defensive. Continue reading

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“He’s talking marriage but I just don’t trust him”

I need some advice! My boyfriend and I have been together a total of almost a year and a half and just a few months ago he had “out of no where” broke up with me for about a month . It all started when his phone lit up and he received a text from a girl talking about what each of them like to do (like go hiking). They seemed to be talking about things in order to get to know each other.

I am all about having friends so I have never really went too far into anything , but this struck me as a little odd, so I confronted him and asked him to see the texts and he promptly said “no”, put his phone away and turned it around on me and exclaimed that if I trusted him I wouldn’t be asking him about it. Continue reading

“My best friend hates my boyfriend”

One of my best girl friends has started acting a bit suspicious when it comes to getting together with others. It’s starting to feel like she is tactfully excluding my boyfriend and I’m wondering who is in the wrong and how to address this situation.

Let me start off by saying, I love a girls night! I’m perfectly content ditching our boyfriends, fiances, and husbands for a night just us girls. This is not the issue. The problem is other times, when we are all going out (brunch at a restaurant, drinks at a bar, a get together at a mutual friend’s house) where there will be people of both genders, she makes it a point to exclude my boyfriend. I’m not sure how it affects her if my boyfriend is there or not. Let me give some examples:

Brunch with a group of friends, she told me “no boyfriends allowed” per one of the men attending’s request. I found this odd and decided not to go. Funny thing is, we actually ended up meeting the said man before the brunch and he asked why we weren’t joining them.

A bunch of our friends are all getting drinks at an outdoor bar this weekend, there is a Facebook event for it. She invited me and the other girls in our friend group but none of our boyfriends, even though they are friends with a lot of the people attending.

There have been many situations like these and it doesn’t seem to be just my boyfriend she excludes, 2 of my other girl friends have boyfriends as well and she excludes them the same.

My question is, if other guys are going to be at these events, why is it an issue if we bring our SOs? These are public places and they have every right to be there. I don’t really understand how our partner’s presence affects her, besides the fact that we aren’t available to make small talk with other men, who think we’re single.

Are we both in the wrong? Or just one of us? Is there something I should do to address this moving forward?

“He’s overweight, has poor hygiene, but I like him!”

I’m dating this guy, we’ve known each other for 8 months now. We started hanging out as friends, but approx. 2 months ago we kissed for the first time, and since then it’s starting to get kinda serious. It’s funny because we weren’t expecting it, it just happened for some reasons.

Problem: I don’t find him attractive. He has a cute face, but he is quite overweight and doesn’t seem to take care of himself at all. And trust me, I’m not that picky when it comes to looks and body hygiene… Continue reading

“Is he sleeping with a prostitute?”

I’m in a fairly new relationship but things have moved fast and we are expecting a baby in a few months. My boyfriend has a lot of friends male and female. I have no reason to not trust him. I found out today that one female friend, who he is particularly close to, works as a prostitute and he use to pay her for sex while single.

He has never told me this, though he has said they have known each other a long time and he initially met her again on Tinder (before me). My past relationship was very bad and he knows this, and that it left me insecure. My ex frequently went to prostitutes and had numerous affairs and online inappropriate behavior.

My question is, am I right to suddenly feel very, very uncomfortable about this friendship? He has never told me about her line of work etc let alone that he paid for her services (I do know he had been to a brothel tho as he did tell me this). I’m partly wondering if he hasn’t told me because he knows the damage my ex left on me and he really does just value the friendship (she is a lovely person). Or is it not all it seems and not so innocent ?? I don’t want to let my baggage cause me to overreact here but I feel I’d be doing an injustice to myself to do nothing …

“My boyfriend and family are not getting on”

I was set up by my aunt and my boyfriends aunt a bit over a year ago. We get along amazingly, we lived together for a few months and again it was amazing. He wants to create a happy and healthy family for us.

I have a group of friends that he has met a few times. One of them just married a guy that sells small amounts of marijuana and my boyfriend has also heard him gossiping about his own friends and about a few people in my family. I also have a cousin who is involved in selling drugs. Continue reading

“My boyfriend is worried about our future”

My boyfriend of 3 years told me about 2 months ago that he wasn’t sure what our future could be long term, and insinuated that he didn’t want to marry me or have kids, or at least wasn’t sure he would want to. Ever since, we’ve been getting into stupid fights which is infuriating, because we basically never fought before this, and I don’t want to have to deal with this issue now.

I’m 23: at what point do you have decide if marriage/no marriage is a deal breaker for you if you love the one you’re with? I picture any and all kinds of futures with him, but those possibilities are starting to narrow as he drifts away from me. I should also mention that he’s kind of going through a quarter-life crisis right now (he’s 26), so with him being down on himself and unsure of his own future, I don’t know if I should take every single thing he says seriously. What if this is just a passing mood for him and I miss out on spending more time with the love of my life? I don’t want to break up with him period, but I especially don’t want to break up with him over this. Help? What would you do?

“Why won’t he admit he has a girlfriend?”

I met him in one of my college classes. We studied together, and the last month of class it was obvious he liked me. At one point we had a conversation where he mentioned his “ex.” We planned to hangout after our final, but the night we were all going to go out (our group of classmates), he never showed up. We never talked again after that. It drove me insane– he had easily become one of my favorite people. I did some snooping and it turned out his “ex” was his current girl. I was so disappointed but dropped it. He must be loyal to her, and I’m no home wrecker.  Continue reading

“He has other women all over his Facebook page”

On my boyfriend’s Facebook page he has nothing but a bunch of women with nice bodies. Some have clothes on, some half naked. I feel a little intimidated sometimes because I don’t have a model shaped body and I wonder if he ever looks at me differently after he looks at them.

I think it’s disrespectful because now he’s in a relationship and even though he had the page before me, it’s more of a respect thing to me. I don’t have a bunch of random naked men on my page. I only have people that I went to school with, men and women.

I don’t know if this should be a issue but this bothers me and I told him about it. He deactivated his page, but not for long. So how should I handle this issue or should it even be a issue or am I over thinking about this?

“My boyfriend encourages me to flirt with my teacher”

I have been dating my boyfriend for nine months now, and I love him to death, but sometimes I don’t get the emotional love and attention I would like from him. I have been taking a class at our university this summer, and my lab GTA has been increasingly flirting with me over the course of the class.

My boyfriend encouraged me to flirt back and even offered up a “hall pass” to help me pass the class (I thought he was joking – he’s not). I feel incredibly uncomfortable that he would suggest that, because I would never cheat in class (let alone get involved with a teacher) or on my boyfriend.

My problem is that I don’t know what to think about how my boyfriend is acting towards the situation. My other problem is that I genuinely like my GTA as a person, and I would really like to be friends with him. He is obviously flirting with me, and I don’t know how to pursue a friendly relationship without him thinking I was leading him on or using him for a good grade.