“I’m worried about my boyfriend’s binge drinking”

I don’t know how to confront my boyfriend about his alcoholism. He binge drinks on the regular, and whenever the negative effects of drinking come back to bite him, he always has some excuse. He’ll say he threw up at a restaurant because he “just ate too much,” when really it was because he’d been throwing back doubles all through dinner; or that he fell on his face on the sidewalk because he was “exhausted from working out the previous day,” when really he’s intoxicated.

He means the world to me, and I’m worried about his health. I’d be devastated if he got himself hurt under the influence while I wasn’t available to look after him. (I work full time.) But I’m not sure how to start the discussion when he remains in denial about the fact that all these mishaps he’s having are because of binge drinking. Help?

“I don’t think my boyfriend is interested anymore”

My boyfriend refuses to spend a night at my place and for me to spend a night at his place. We used to spend a lot of time together and he would always sleep over at my place. When I asked him why he doesn’t want to sleep over, he always makes lame excuses about things he has to do.

We have been spending way less time together and he always says we will, but his actions don’t reflect what he says. He says he is going through a lot and is trying to figure it all out. I think that’s just an excuse. Should I just break up with him because I think he isn’t interested, but doesn’t want to be the one to end it?

“Do I get rid of him or forgive and forget?”

I need help. I feel so sick just typing this, I’m 20 years old, I’m a female. I met my current boyfriend on my very first day of college, a year and a half ago and we fell so in love. Everything was absolutely perfect (almost too perfect and I felt it was too good to be true.)

Just 2 months ago he admitted he kissed a girl on a night out (he doesn’t remember and didn’t realize it happened until his friend told him the next day, so he was seriously intoxicated. Obviously, he said it was a mistake, blah blah blah. I can’t get over it and feel so upset. He also admitted he flirted with a girl 6 months ago at a festival he went to (also drunk.)

Do I get rid of him or forgive and forget, which seems impossible at the minute?

“My boyfriend masturbated to another girl”

My boyfriend and I are very open with each other. We have talked about our past crushes and who we thought were cute. One of them is one of my best friends. I would have no problem with this, but he had masturbated to her when he liked me. He said he did it to take his mind off me. He was obsessed with me then. He said that she was a distraction from me.

During that time, we both had a huge crush on each other. I wouldn’t have minded if it was any other girl, but this is one of my best friends. Recently, he admitted that he didn’t know if he masturbated to her just because of her appearance. When we first discussed this, he said it was because she reminded him of me. Now, I don’t know what to think anymore! It hurt me a lot. I thought I was the only one he thought about, had a huge crush on at the time. Continue reading

“My boyfriend all of a sudden wants to take our only car to work”

My boyfriend and I have one car. Right now he is working and I am not. He works real crazy hours (sometimes 20 hour days) so he says he doesn’t want me to work. I have been looking for a job anyway though.

Usually I take him to work, since it’s only 15 minutes down the road. For a while he was saying he wanted me to take him so I wasn’t stranded at home all day. Today we got in a huge fight. I drove him to work, we kissed, I went home, and everything was fine. Then about 2 hours later, he called me saying he should be driving to work and that all my lazy ass does is sit at home. (Which is completely incorrect, I clean, wash his clothes, cook, grocery shop, pay all the bills, and run all the errands.)

I got real upset and asked where this was coming from. He said he’s tired of seeing everyone at work drive up in their cars and trucks, but I have to drop him off. My thing is though, why all of a sudden, is he cussing me out over that? Why can’t he just say I want to drive to work today? He never has and it has become a habit, so it’s just how it’s been lately. I haven’t even thought anything of it. I don’t know what to do, please someone give me some advice.

“I feel inadequate because my boyfriend likes big boobs”

My boyfriend and I work in the sport supplement industry where we are surrounded by overly sexy women with big fake boobs and butts. We are both very fit and I never really felt unattractive before, until I found out how much he loves big boobs and looking at these women.

I’ve been called hot and sexy…but suddenly I feel inadequate. I’m very fit so my chest is pretty flat and my butt is just average I guess. I feel undesirable because he is constantly looking at these girls for their physical attributes. Sure, I know he loves me and finds me attractive. But I know he would be more attracted if I had these attributes he desires. What the hell do I do? I find myself crying every time I find that he’s been looking at these other women because I wish he’d look at me that way…

“Should I call it ‘our car’ or ‘my car’?”

I’m living with my boyfriend of five years. Three years ago his daughter came to live with us. I’m the breadwinner, making nearly 10 times what he makes in a year, and so I’m heavily supporting our family.

We recently leased a car, when we had otherwise been relying on public transportation, Uber, and cabs. The car is completely in my name and on my credit, though his income was taken into account when we decided we had enough collectively to get a car. My boyfriend does not have a license nor does his under ‘driving-age’ daughter. When I talk about the car, I often call the car “my car” though I drive them wherever they need to go on most occasions. My boyfriend gets really defensive about me calling it “my car”. – which I think is mostly out of habit from when I had a car before, but could also be because I’m the only one that drives it, pays for it, and is ultimately responsible. Should I be more sensitive to this being a family car and calling it “our car”?

“Has my boyfriend been seeing someone else?”

I’ve just received some disturbing news from my estranged brother who lives with my boyfriend of two years; he told me that my boyfriend had been seeing one of his friends on the side for the past 18 months. He seemed so earnest when he told me, so I spoke directly to my boyfriend. (On a side note my brother and boyfriend have been growing apart for the past year now and barely stand each other anymore).

He said it was stupid and that it was complete bullshit, and he too looked so earnest and hurt about the accusations and I do trust him. I honestly don’t know who to believe because I trust both of them and they both looked and sounded so earnest. We’ve been together for two years and I’ve invested so much into this relationship that I don’t want to lose it.

My confession is that I want to ask my boyfriend to look through his phone, just to settle my paranoia. Even though I trust him wholeheartedly, I can’t stop thinking ‘what if’ and it’s eating me inside. But I don’t know how to ask without destroying everything in the process. But if I don’t ask, it’s going to destroy me.