“He says I’m selfish, but I do everything!’

My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage where I am the homemaker, and he is the provider; but, I work 20+ hours per week, take care of everything in the home (except for repairs/maintenance that are sparse), care for our 2 boys and 2 dogs.

He is home resting for 7 days, then works away 7 days a week, works 12 hours a day when away, and  where he stays is like a hotel/ camp (maid service and all meals provided). When he comes home, even though I work 5 days a week, I do all cooking and cleaning.

The only thing I ask, is that he bathes the boys when he is home. He becomes very upset with me, swearing and yelling, that I am selfish and he never gets a break. Am I wrong in thinking he should be doing this? He says I expect too much because he is home watching the boys all day when I am at work and he deserves his nights to relax. Should I just deal with it and keep doing what I do everyday whether he is home or not?

 

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“I’m feeling out of place in my relationship”

I went to my boyfriend’s bar to pick him up and he bought me food which was sweet. We sat and talked, he just told me stories about his past, I tried to talk about ideas or something more mentally intriguing, but as usual he was not reciprocating and seemed uninterested. I like hearing stories of his past but it seems like it’s all he talks about recently…which in turn made me feel bored.

So I went to dance, he didn’t come to watch. I danced for about 15 mins then returned to the table. I had bought new clothes and dressed up for him, he didn’t acknowledge it until i finally asked for a compliment, which has also been a trend. Continue reading

“She’s angry that I want to work on my career”

I have been in a relationship with a young woman (she is 20 and I am 23) for about a year now, and she gets angry when I spend time away from her to advance my career.

We are both in college and I am an art student. We both also work. I have told her before that I plan to spend 50 to 60 hours a week in the studio for the rest of my life, attend shows, classes, lectures and exhibit openings, and that these time commitments are rarely, if ever, negotiable. I invite her to as many of these as I can, but it’s rare that she actually wants to join me. Many of these events do come up on short notice as well, but I always give plans priority in the order they were made. Continue reading

“My boyfriend and family are not getting on”

I was set up by my aunt and my boyfriends aunt a bit over a year ago. We get along amazingly, we lived together for a few months and again it was amazing. He wants to create a happy and healthy family for us.

I have a group of friends that he has met a few times. One of them just married a guy that sells small amounts of marijuana and my boyfriend has also heard him gossiping about his own friends and about a few people in my family. I also have a cousin who is involved in selling drugs. Continue reading

“What happened to the chemistry we had?”

I come from a fairly conservative household. I met “M” on POF and quickly discovered we had ties. Since I lived in an area where there were a lot of us of the same culture, his family and my family had a distant friendship.

He said he was looking for marriage, as was I. We hit it off and started speaking on Whatsapp. Soon after he began to tell me how God answered his prayers sending me, how we meshed so well and how he could not wait to take me home. Continue reading

“My wife has a slight drinking problem”

My wife has a slight drinking problem. Not an alcoholic but she just can’t control how much she drinks when we’re out with friends. We can’t go out and just have a couple beers or glasses of wine and enjoy an evening.

It starts out as one beer that gets drunk immediately, not chugged, but rapidly drunk, swallow after swallow. It’s like compulsive, it’s there and I have to drink it. Then she needs another one. Can’t just sip and enjoy it, nope, has to consume it because it’s there. About the third beer in, she’s getting intoxicated, but denies it. If I try to get her to slow down, she gets defensive and belligerent. Now it’s up to 5 or 6 beers and she’s loud, belligerent and nasty. We fight and argue about it and go home. Next time we go out I try to get her to control it but it never works, another spoiled evening, because she consumed too much, too fast and will not stop. She usually apologizes the next day and says she won’t do it again. Always does. This is very frustrating. She refuses to get help or counseling as she is convinced in her own mind that everything is fine. What do I do?

“My mom and I constantly argue”

I can’t seem to stop fighting with my mom, and it’s tearing me up inside. We have big differences in ideology and faith and obviously age, but we’ve always been pretty close. She came to visit me during Thanksgiving, and I found myself becoming very easily annoyed with her (and other family) and snapping and fighting.

Since then, it’s been so hard to go very long without having a huge argument over politics, opinions, each other’s choices, etc. She makes me feel like if I question her logic (I have been in school in the science field, so it’s hard for me not bring up objections to logic), that I think she is stupid and I hate her. But I have explained it’s not personal, then she says incredibly mean and cruel and yes, illogical things to me. Continue reading

“Her constant small attacks are destroying me”

I have been in a relationship for eight months with my girlfriend. I have not felt the same since we got back from summer vacation. It started like most relationships, and we had our “honeymoon” phase. But that only lasted halfway through the summer. When we got back to school, things suddenly changed.

I have begun to notice the things she does wrong. Suddenly we can not go a week without arguing at least once. I can admit that 50% is me being an instigator, and no argument needs to happen. But the other 50% really upsets me, especially when she tells me that it’s nothing to be upset about.

For example: she will constantly find something wrong with me. I mess up speaking, she points it out. I mess up helping her with homework, she says, “I thought you said you were good at math.” Continue reading

“I apologize for things that aren’t my fault”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over four years. I am always the fixer, which means whether it’s my fault or his, I go to him first to fix any problems we have. Always. He hardly apologizes when he’s wrong and I apologize too much when it’s not my fault.

Tonight, we went out for some drinks and took an Uber. On our way back to the house, we accidentally got in the wrong Uber. The driver asked for his name, he said his name and confirmed. We hopped in. I guess the driver didn’t hear the name correctly. Almost home, we realized this mistake; the driver was a total asshole, and said pay cash or get out. Neither of us had cash so we got out. We made a report to Uber since we were stranded at midnight on the side of the road. We called another and finally made it. Immediately he placed a complaint with Uber. He said he wanted to file a police report and say the Uber driver was drunk driving or speeding and driving recklessly. Continue reading