“My coworkers make me feel like an outcast”

I started a new job and, unbeknown to me, there were two distinct social groups. I did not try or intend to, but I fell in with one group. It soon dawned on me that the two groups had an almost visceral dislike for each other.

Six months later, and within the space of a month, all the people from my group had quit or moved on to other positions. They were replaced by people who formed friendships with the second group. This has now left me alone and feeling somewhat of an outcast from the newly formed much larger single group. For reasons I won’t go into I cannot quit this job, as much as I would like to. I don’t know what I can do.

It is horrible, nobody talks to me and I am rebuffed whenever I try to engage with anyone. I feel stupid for saying this but I even feel I am being actively bullied by some members of the new group.  Thank you, any advice will be welcome.

Advertisements

“She undermined me about my kid’s TV”

When my wife and I first married we decided that our kids would not be allowed to have TV’s in their bedrooms. We recently bought a new house and our now teenage son has been asking for a TV for his room.

We discussed it and I still feel very strongly about him not having one in his room. We have 3 other TV’s in the house. He doesn’t need to be holed up in his room 24 hours a day. A few days ago, while I was working, he asked my wife if he could take a TV up to his room that we had, that wasn’t hooked up because it didn’t work very well. She let him and no one ever said anything to me about it, after multiple discussions on the topic.

I saw it yesterday and told my wife I was not happy about it. I didn’t go off or blow my lid but I am pissed about it. And now I am being treated like I’m an ass for being upset about it. Am I wrong for being mad? I feel like she undermined me on something I felt very strongly about even though “the TV barely works, what’s the big deal?”

“Do I give her a heads up about the abuse?”

My sister in law was inappropriately touched by her uncle when she was a pre-teen. He spent a few months in jail and was registered on the local sex offenders’ registry for a short time. I do not know details of the abuse.

Some years ago he got married to a woman who has 2 kids, a boy and a girl. I don’t know if she’s aware of the abuse. I don’t feel as though I should be the one to tell her, but now that her daughter is getting to be the same age my sister in law was when she was touched, I’m becoming very concerned. I do not want to damage their marriage if he’s truly changed, but can they truly change? She may already know. I would hope my mother in law would have talked to the wife as one mom to another about her marrying a possible pedophile, but I do not know. It is my mother in law’s brother and perhaps she would just want to see him happy.

I considered writing an anonymous note to the wife to give her a heads up in case she isn’t aware, but don’t want to overstep my bounds. Then again, when the safety of a child is in question, doesn’t it become everyone’s responsibility?

“What happened to the chemistry we had?”

I come from a fairly conservative household. I met “M” on POF and quickly discovered we had ties. Since I lived in an area where there were a lot of us of the same culture, his family and my family had a distant friendship.

He said he was looking for marriage, as was I. We hit it off and started speaking on Whatsapp. Soon after he began to tell me how God answered his prayers sending me, how we meshed so well and how he could not wait to take me home. Continue reading

“I feel completely disrespected and betrayed by him”

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 3. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he and my children bonded quickly and the family dynamic between the 4 of us felt effortless and we were all happy.

Since we’ve been married though, I have found text messages between him and 3 different girls. I tried to improve myself to see if he would stop, I thought it was something I was doing to push him away but then I found out he was saying awful things about me and my kids to a girl while he was telling me how much he loved me. Continue reading

“She is skeptical of my trustworthiness”

I’ve been single for a few years now, but I’m talking with a girl, Lauren, who I was really good friends with a few years ago. We’ve hung out a few times but nothing more than a hug and no serious dates.

I met her years before through my then girlfriend, Sam. I will admit, I cheated on Sam one time when I kissed another girl. It was a mistake and we made up and continued our relationship for more than a year after, but now Lauren found out that I cheated, not knowing really what happened, and is understandably skeptical of my trustworthiness. I have fallen completely in love with Lauren but don’t know how to prove to her that I’ve changed for the better.

“Is she reluctant and distant?”

I’ve been dating this girl for a little longer than 2 weeks, talking for almost a month. I’m 23, she’s 20. We’re both emotionally scarred from previous relationships and she has admitted that she’s terrified of commitment.

We hit it off strong, spending almost every night together, simple casual netflix dates, nothing special. Then I talked about some sensitive subjects and she’s grown distant with me. We haven’t seen each other in over a week but she’s been, what seems to be, reluctantly texting me. Her entire demeanor over text has changed from happy and interested, to what I can only interpret as obligatory replies and short.

I realize it’s a short term relationship and I shouldn’t have invested myself so deeply into it so soon but she’s special. I really can’t figure out why, but I can’t get her off my mind. I need some help.

“My best friend doesn’t know my real identity”

So, I’ve known my best friend for two years now. I’m closer to him than I’ve ever been with anyone and he’s extremely important to me.

Two years ago when I met him I was using an alias to hide my real identity online, as I really don’t want people who know me irl to find me on my socials. I created a whole fake identity. Nationality, name, etc.

Now, I’m stuck in the lie. I’m so afraid I’ll lose him if I tell him I’ve been lying this long, but as someone who knows more about me than anyone else, I feel like he should at least know who I really am. Should I tell him? How should I go about it?

“Do I stick it out, or give up on my current relationship?”

When we first talked about dating, she promised an honest and open relationship in the sense of communication.

In the time we’ve dated, communication hasn’t gotten any better and is absolutely terrible compared to before. I’ve gotten cheated on, she lies consistently, still talks with the men she flirts with and is still incredibly irresponsible. She also claims to have cheated on a guy simply because she didn’t screw or see him for two weeks. I won’t be able to see her for a while so I’m concerned.

She has plenty of great qualities and I am madly in love with her,  but I can’t trust her to save my life. How can I resolve this? We get along great, and have awesome chemistry.

She has PTSD related issues, so I can’t approach these issues directly without her shutting down and going dead silent for two days. How can I resolve this?