“I’m scared that I have depression”

I recently have been feeling sad all the time, like I’d cry a lot for no reason, and the few times I’m happy, it lasts for a super short time. I took a lot on online tests just to make sure I didn’t have depression or anything like that. The first score I received said that I had a score of 87 for depression, so I almost definitely did have it. But I thought to myself, that can’t be right.

I took more and more tests, and they all say I have depression. I’m really scared about this. I want to talk to someone, but I feel like I can’t. All of my friends are all so happy right now, I just don’t want to ruin it for them. My family would never treat me the same if I told them. They’d treat me like I’d break at any moment or something, and that’s the last thing I want. Continue reading

“I’ve developed crippling anxiety”

My boyfriend and I just moved to a new state. We got our first apartment together (although we’ve been living together for almost 2 years) and we’re struggling to make ends meet. Most of the reason we are struggling is because I’ve developed crippling anxiety.

I feel depressed, tired and sick all the time which leads to me hardly ever being able to work. I beat myself up about it constantly and I think its leading me into an even deeper depression. I have no support here besides him and I feel like I’m crushing his soul with my constant negativity. I love him so much, I know he is the one I want to marry someday. But I feel like I am just going to ruin our relationship if I can’t get back on my feet soon. What do I do?

“My mother is ready to press charges against my abusive father”

So my mother, older sister, father, and I live in this house owned by my grandmother. My grandmother and her mother lived next door until my great-grandmother died in late 2015. My great-grandmother was a tyrant and caused all of us to feel like shit, so we figured once she died, my grandmother would be able to live the life that she couldn’t before because of her and would become a lot nicer.

Well, that didn’t happen as planned. She is just as obsessive and mean as she was before. On top of her constant verbal abuse, my father and sister are emotionally abusive to my mother and me as well. My father will yell and curse at my mother for her weight and her job (whether she works her scheduled 40 hrs — which is too few for his taste — or if she works between that and 80 hours — which is too many — he is not satisfied), and he will be upset if the house isn’t kept up to his liking (even though he is the one that trashes it).

He will yell at me for not doing anything (if I don’t go out with friends or work), but will yell at me if I am doing too much (hanging out with friends or working) and is constantly upset with me being in school (since he has to drive me, because I am 19 and not allowed to have my license).

My sister feeds on any drama in the house and will do anything to stir anything up. We have never had a decent holiday at our house between her and my father. They both love to throw things, too — food, keys, television remotes, etc. You can never talk to any of them, my grandmother included, about anything because they will use it against you. Continue reading

“My partner is closeted and ignores me in public”

I’ve been going out with a closeted non-binary person for almost 5 months now. This person is female by birth, but identifies as non-binary, so I’ll use “they” to refer to them. I’m a closeted trans guy, meaning that I’m female by birth, but identify as male.

Since we’re both closeted, we’re viewed as a lesbian couple. I’m okay with this, because we’re not very public with affection and everything, so it doesn’t matter. We’re not having any troubles technically, and I am utterly in love with them and want it to last forever.

The problem is, I’ve been out as “gay” for longer than they have, and I am much more comfortable about being open. This means that they will only talk to me before and after school in the library, when there aren’t many people around. Also, when they see me around school (we’re in different year groups), they just give me a small tight smile and don’t say anything. Continue reading

“I am stuck in a massive rut”

So, long story short. I am stuck in a massive rut, this past year has been horrible for me, I found out earlier in the year that I can’t have children. At the time I was 3 years into a relationship with my fiancee , I knew that she desperately wanted children more than anything and that me not being able to have them would crush her, and so I decided not to tell her.

A few months later we had an argument and broke up, I knew it was the right thing to do for her but it destroyed me to let her go. This began several months of destructive behaviour. I went back to recreational drug use and began putting less and less effort into everything, work and personal life. Continue reading

“I’m scared my health problems are pushing him away”

I’ve been with my fiancĂ© for over 4 years. In the first year of our relationship, he went behind my back with his ex. He also cheated on me with her again (and briefly left me for her) in the winter of 2015 and February 2016. He also cheated on me with and left me for a girl he worked with a couple of years ago for a month. However, we have been together for the majority of the last 4 1/2 years.

I cut him off last year, because I had had enough and didn’t want to be his backup or just-in-case anymore. He would never open up to me. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative and always kept me hanging on while still talking to other girls. Continue reading

“I can’t stop feeling guilty for breaking up with him”

I was with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years (from 18 to 23). I met him while studying abroad, far from home. It was a good, happy relationship for the first 3 years. We lived together, we planned our life together, I was convinced we were going to marry and all that good stuff.

Things became difficult because he was a heavy weed smoker. Because of that, so was I eventually, but I didn’t blame him for that. Life was really not rosy … we had no money, he had no stable job, he kept changing them and quitting and stuff (I had 3 and that kept us going). We were both pursuing careers in creative fields, but neither of us had much luck with that. I really disliked the country we were living at (his home country) and was always from the very beginning very vocal about it. His answer always was — yes, I agree, we should move, I want to leave, too.

This went on for two years, but nothing changed. Eventually, in desperation I stopped waiting for him, found a university I wanted to apply to in Germany, started learning the language, and informed him of what I was doing. He didn’t try to stop me, but wasn’t too encouraging either, just a “yeah do what you want” kinda attitude.

But I still loved him with all my heart even then, and also felt loved by him — never was neglected or abused. There was just this crushing apathy about him that hurt me the most. In a year’s time, I found out I was accepted and realised I was going to have to move. I was delighted. I burst into tears, realising I could actually escape the life that was leading nowhere, working shitty miserable jobs just to survive.

His reaction, however, was unexpected: He was terrified and panicked. How can he move to a different country, he doesn’t know the language! What will he do there? I will study, but what will he do? And to top it all off, he told me I couldn’t just drop this on him so suddenly! I’d been telling him I wanted to move for 3 years, and that I applied to universities a year in advance. THAT hurt. And stuff did go sour then. We both became very hurt and scared for what was gonna happen to our relationship. However, we both loved each other, had a connection, and wanted to make it work.

So we tried. I moved on my own, with no help from him. I found an apartment, bought furniture, sorted out all the bills and legal matters. It wasn’t easy to be on my own after 5 years of having back up. And to top it all off, he called me to say he was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and me leaving made it even worse. Continue reading

“We’re getting fed up with her anxiety”

A friend of mine at school has extreme anxiety issues, a crappy home life, and extreme depression. I just met her at the beginning of school last semester, and she is kind of like a little sister to me, but she has been quite an inconvenience lately.

Several times in the last few months, I have had to drop what I was doing and go to her to make sure she is okay. In addition to that, really weird things set her off — things that we can’t just tell people not to say. The rest of our friends are also getting fed up with it. Also, it is getting to the point where it feels like she’s taking advantage of us.

We have all tried to get her to see a counselor (we are all in college, and they offer free counseling services if you need it). Every time that we bring it up, though, she just says back to us, “You guys are all targeting me,” and then gets upset, cries, and does other stuff to try to make us feel guilty, and then storms out. Continue reading

“I don’t know what a normal home is”

My mom and I survived 23 years with my dad who was an abusive alcoholic narcissist. He left us about six months ago but that wasn’t the end of our problems. My mother is clinically depressed, has been diagnosed with PTSD and is prone to emotional outbursts. Sometimes she takes out her anger on me.

I am in college, but quite late, because I lost three years due to that arrogant asshole who calls himself my dad. Now we’re doing okay financially and all, but my mom has been through a string of relationships — two with married men — and each has left her more broken and depressed than before. The relationships were not physical but usually through chatting only. I can vouch for that. Continue reading

“My parents are kicking me out of the house, and I have nowhere to go”

In May of 2015, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. He was my best friend, and he stopped talking to me altogether. The stress and emotional turmoil on top of my depression and anxiety caused me to have to go to the hospital for mental instability. This was the year I graduated high school.

That summer I got better (mainly by being so high on the medicines from the hospital) that I went off to college that fall. The work load was so much on top of being drugged out of my mind that I physically could not do it, and to get a medical withdrawal, I had to go back to the hospital. Ever since, then my parents have bitched about me going back, but I don’t know what to do with my life, and I don’t want to waste my time or money to not do anything with a bullshit degree.

Ever since I dropped out I have had a job. In May of 2016, I tried to move out because of my parents being the abusive asshats they are, and my mom sent me to the hospital because “I obviously had to be crazy to not live with her.”

Once I got out, I still lived with the guy I was with, but two months later things didn’t work out, so I moved back in. I started dating one of my coworkers (let’s call him Jim) and we both got fired. I really loved Jim and he seemed to love me too. He lived with his mom, stepdad, and four siblings. We both found other jobs and he didn’t live far from me. Continue reading