“I am stuck in a massive rut”

So, long story short. I am stuck in a massive rut, this past year has been horrible for me, I found out earlier in the year that I can’t have children. At the time I was 3 years into a relationship with my fiancee , I knew that she desperately wanted children more than anything and that me not being able to have them would crush her, and so I decided not to tell her.

A few months later we had an argument and broke up, I knew it was the right thing to do for her but it destroyed me to let her go. This began several months of destructive behaviour. I went back to recreational drug use and began putting less and less effort into everything, work and personal life. Continue reading

“I’m scared my health problems are pushing him away”

I’ve been with my fiancĂ© for over 4 years. In the first year of our relationship, he went behind my back with his ex. He also cheated on me with her again (and briefly left me for her) in the winter of 2015 and February 2016. He also cheated on me with and left me for a girl he worked with a couple of years ago for a month. However, we have been together for the majority of the last 4 1/2 years.

I cut him off last year, because I had had enough and didn’t want to be his backup or just-in-case anymore. He would never open up to me. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative and always kept me hanging on while still talking to other girls. Continue reading

“I can’t stop feeling guilty for breaking up with him”

I was with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years (from 18 to 23). I met him while studying abroad, far from home. It was a good, happy relationship for the first 3 years. We lived together, we planned our life together, I was convinced we were going to marry and all that good stuff.

Things became difficult because he was a heavy weed smoker. Because of that, so was I eventually, but I didn’t blame him for that. Life was really not rosy … we had no money, he had no stable job, he kept changing them and quitting and stuff (I had 3 and that kept us going). We were both pursuing careers in creative fields, but neither of us had much luck with that. I really disliked the country we were living at (his home country) and was always from the very beginning very vocal about it. His answer always was — yes, I agree, we should move, I want to leave, too.

This went on for two years, but nothing changed. Eventually, in desperation I stopped waiting for him, found a university I wanted to apply to in Germany, started learning the language, and informed him of what I was doing. He didn’t try to stop me, but wasn’t too encouraging either, just a “yeah do what you want” kinda attitude.

But I still loved him with all my heart even then, and also felt loved by him — never was neglected or abused. There was just this crushing apathy about him that hurt me the most. In a year’s time, I found out I was accepted and realised I was going to have to move. I was delighted. I burst into tears, realising I could actually escape the life that was leading nowhere, working shitty miserable jobs just to survive.

His reaction, however, was unexpected: He was terrified and panicked. How can he move to a different country, he doesn’t know the language! What will he do there? I will study, but what will he do? And to top it all off, he told me I couldn’t just drop this on him so suddenly! I’d been telling him I wanted to move for 3 years, and that I applied to universities a year in advance. THAT hurt. And stuff did go sour then. We both became very hurt and scared for what was gonna happen to our relationship. However, we both loved each other, had a connection, and wanted to make it work.

So we tried. I moved on my own, with no help from him. I found an apartment, bought furniture, sorted out all the bills and legal matters. It wasn’t easy to be on my own after 5 years of having back up. And to top it all off, he called me to say he was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and me leaving made it even worse. Continue reading

“We’re getting fed up with her anxiety”

A friend of mine at school has extreme anxiety issues, a crappy home life, and extreme depression. I just met her at the beginning of school last semester, and she is kind of like a little sister to me, but she has been quite an inconvenience lately.

Several times in the last few months, I have had to drop what I was doing and go to her to make sure she is okay. In addition to that, really weird things set her off — things that we can’t just tell people not to say. The rest of our friends are also getting fed up with it. Also, it is getting to the point where it feels like she’s taking advantage of us.

We have all tried to get her to see a counselor (we are all in college, and they offer free counseling services if you need it). Every time that we bring it up, though, she just says back to us, “You guys are all targeting me,” and then gets upset, cries, and does other stuff to try to make us feel guilty, and then storms out. Continue reading

“I don’t know what a normal home is”

My mom and I survived 23 years with my dad who was an abusive alcoholic narcissist. He left us about six months ago but that wasn’t the end of our problems. My mother is clinically depressed, has been diagnosed with PTSD and is prone to emotional outbursts. Sometimes she takes out her anger on me.

I am in college, but quite late, because I lost three years due to that arrogant asshole who calls himself my dad. Now we’re doing okay financially and all, but my mom has been through a string of relationships — two with married men — and each has left her more broken and depressed than before. The relationships were not physical but usually through chatting only. I can vouch for that. Continue reading

“My parents are kicking me out of the house, and I have nowhere to go”

In May of 2015, my boyfriend of three years broke up with me. He was my best friend, and he stopped talking to me altogether. The stress and emotional turmoil on top of my depression and anxiety caused me to have to go to the hospital for mental instability. This was the year I graduated high school.

That summer I got better (mainly by being so high on the medicines from the hospital) that I went off to college that fall. The work load was so much on top of being drugged out of my mind that I physically could not do it, and to get a medical withdrawal, I had to go back to the hospital. Ever since, then my parents have bitched about me going back, but I don’t know what to do with my life, and I don’t want to waste my time or money to not do anything with a bullshit degree.

Ever since I dropped out I have had a job. In May of 2016, I tried to move out because of my parents being the abusive asshats they are, and my mom sent me to the hospital because “I obviously had to be crazy to not live with her.”

Once I got out, I still lived with the guy I was with, but two months later things didn’t work out, so I moved back in. I started dating one of my coworkers (let’s call him Jim) and we both got fired. I really loved Jim and he seemed to love me too. He lived with his mom, stepdad, and four siblings. We both found other jobs and he didn’t live far from me. Continue reading

“I miss my best friend”

I have a question, well, it is almost more like a long-winded life story that requires a solution to solidify a happy ending.

Here goes. In Grade 8, I changed schools, and I met my best friend, I’ll call him Marty. Anyway, at first, Marty and I were indifferent towards each other, until one day, we started speaking, and then we discovered that we were cut from the same cloth, if you will. From then on, we were inseparable. In the beginning of our Grade 9 year, Marty and I started dating, but the relationship, although absolutely wonderful, was short-lived, lasting just longer than a month. Marty ended our relationship very abruptly, and, as I found out later, this was because he has issues with trust, and, apparently, did not believe that I was really the person that I made myself out to be. Regardless, the split broke my 15-year-old heart, as far as a 15 year-old’s heart can be broken.

I was devastated and sought comfort in a group of girls, who introduced my young self to weed, alcohol, and other mind-numbing substances. I spent the remainder of my Grade 9 year, completely wrapped in a bubble of somber depression and a substance induced haze. I told myself that when Grade 10 came, I would straighten my life out and focus on my studies. And then Grade 10 rolled on in, and, on the first day of the school year, I found out that Marty was in every single one of my classes, except for one. So, I made up my mind to mend bridges, and I did this quite effectively, and in a short while we were inseparable again. Continue reading

“I just feel so alone lately”

I just feel so alone lately. I’ve had issues with depression and anxiety the majority of my life, and I’m sure that plays a factor in the way I’m feeling, but I kind of have just lost hope in people. I don’t feel close to my friends anymore and anytime I have tried to reach out I haven’t really gotten a response.

I so desperately want to just go somewhere new and start over, but I can’t. I mean, I’m a senior in high school, so I guess next year I will for college, but I have a while to get through before that. I don’t live in a very big town, it’s not easy for me to just go out and make new friends. I feel like lately my anxiety has gotten bad enough that it’s hard to talk around even my close friends. I hate everything I say and feel stupid for saying anything. I’m not close with my family either, I have a really bad relationship with my mom and am not close with my siblings. I just don’t want to do this, or be this way. I don’t think anyone cares about me.

“My boyfriend and I have terrible luck”

I’m been in this LDR for over half a decade now, but my boyfriend and I seems to have absolutely terrible luck. He’s had to have a number of surgeries over the past years, one to fix a problem, and then the rest to try to fix what was a botched surgery. He’s tried to sue the doctor, but that’s not going very well because he ends up never hearing back.

He’s spent the majority of the last 4 years still trying to heal up, and since he can’t lift anything or even bend down, or even sit for prolonged periods of time, he’s unable to work. I am trying to do my best to support him emotionally as best I can, but I find it difficult as, on top of all of this, both of us suffer from depression and anxiety, and neither of us have proper support systems, as the people in both our environments are rather toxic, and are unwilling to be there for us as we are for them, despite all that’s going on. Continue reading

“I’m in love with my boyfriend’s best friend”

I have feelings for my boyfriend’s best friend. Yes, it sounds like every cheesy movie ever, but it happened to me. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. While we have had our good times, the majority has been miserable. I suffered from depression during the relationship and lost sight of who I was.

Now, I have gotten treatment for my depression and am feeling happier, but I am still unsure about the relationship. I always try to listen to my boyfriend’s wants and needs, while I feel that he does not return the favor. I have discussed this with him many times and only recently have seen results. Unfortunately, I believe he is only making these changes because he fears he will lose me. Continue reading