“I want to be more than just friends”

I met my best guy friend, J, in February through match.com. We immediately clicked, had common interests, similar morals, and communicate well. We both are interested in each other, but he does not want to jeopardize our great relationship that we have as friends.

A lot of it has to do with his prior relationships and being hurt by them; and also them never speaking to him since. He doesn’t want that to happen with us. He also has episodes of clinical depression which contributes to this thinking of his. His last relationship ended a little over a year ago and lasted 8 years. My last relationship was over 3 years ago and I’ve dated a lot if anyone was wondering. I feel like he is what I’ve been looking for. I am 34 and he is 32, so we are not teenagers or in our early 20s either. I want to keep him in my life and will stay friends with him, but does anyone think there is a chance he will change his mind in the future?

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“My sexual behavior disgusts me”

I was intimate with a man in exchange for a favor. It’s been a few months, and ever since then I cannot stop thinking about how disgusted I am with him, and myself with making a bad decision that I had full control of.

The whole time with him that night in my head I did not want to comply. I never found him attractive and looking at him now is just the worst. That night I was making excuses to stop. And now I mentally feel screwed up.

“My best friend and I have feelings for the same guy”

I think I’m starting to have feelings for a guy I’ve been friends with for a while. I suppose it was inevitable; he’s the type of person who is playful and easy to talk to. I genuinely love spending time with him.

Here lies the problem. My best friend has had feelings for him for the past 2 years. I know, at first glance it sounds like a cliche romance plot. But it isn’t a joke anymore whenever I have to listen to her talking about how amazing, kind, beautiful he is and having to say things like, “you’d be perfect for each other”.

I tried to repress my feelings at first, knowing it would end up like this. But I can’t stay away, no matter how hard I try to keep him at arms length. His personality just draws me in. Thankfully I only see him a few times a week since we have different classes, but I know that if I allow myself to get closer, I will fall for him.

I’m beginning to get too nervous to talk to him, because I know she is around somewhere and will start to suspect something is going on if she sees us laughing and joking around like children, which is what our conversations inevitably end in.

I don’t know what to do. Does it make me a terrible person? And before you go to answer that question with “no”, think about the fact that I might actually have a chance with him if I tried (that’s what his friends have hinted at) and I would be taking away her dream guy. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

(P.s. Sorry for the length. This is the first time I’ve opened up about this so it’s more of a rant :-))

“Does he just want to date me for sex?”

My friend set me up with a guy friend of hers. He texted me and we planned our first date. Our date went very well, we had dinner, drinks, dessert and made out a little at the end of the night. We texted a bit the next day and then I didn’t hear from him for a couple of days. When he finally texted again, he apologized for being MIA and we made plans for him to come by my place as I was ill.

He brought me some tea and soup. We watched a movie in my room and he kept trying to get me to sleep with him, without success, because I was sick. I asked if he’d like to get together the following day, he said yes, he’d be free after 7. Next day, sporadic texting and he didn’t end up being free until 11:30pm. I told him I was already in bed and let’s try again when we can hang earlier….no response. He went away for the weekend, so I figured I wouldn’t hear from him. I texted a quick, “hey stranger” 2 days after he got home, no response….that was 3 days ago. Yet he looked at my snapchat story, so I know he’s alive, but he hasn’t contacted me. I understand he’s a busy guy, but this is ridiculous. When we were planning our first date, the texts were frequent and answered almost immediately, now I get nothing. I thought we had really hit it off, but now nothing…..wtf?!

“I keep thinking about this guy”

I fell in love, well maybe not love, with this guy I met a few months ago. I’ve always been attracted to girls and guys and have been open in regards to sexuality. But to be honest I’ve only ever connected romantically with girls – until this guy.

I don’t know what it is, but he meant so much to me in such a quick time, the kind of person you lock eyes with and neither of you look away…

It’s stupid because I know he’ll never reciprocate these feelings, maybe he’s open sexually like I am, but I doubt it.

We always try to see each other but it never happens, eventually I just dropped it because I thought about him too much. But now and then he’ll make an effort and text random things and it just sends me into it again! Continue reading

“Shall I ask him out for a drink?”

I recently visited an outdoor food market by myself, as I was passing and hungry. While there I got chatting to a guy working behind one of the stalls. We talked for about 15/20 minutes just about work/where we’re from and other random things. He told me not to be a stranger so I said I’d come back soon.

Went again today and again, we got chatting about random things – he said how he was going to visit home soon etc. I left as I was going to meet a friend but wished I had asked him for his number or just to go for a drink. Problem is, I can’t tell whether he’s just being nice or is actually interested! And I don’t want to be rejected!

I’d be willing to visit again and maybe ask him to go for a drink. What is your advice? Has anyone been in this situation before? Guys, have you ever been asked out by a girl and been glad? And do you think it’s possible he’s just being a nice guy? He waved at me across the courtyard and seemed eager to talk, where as he wasn’t making much conversation with the 4 other people waiting in line.
Thanks in advance.

“How can I talk to this guy when I’m too shy?”

I’m a freshman in high school, and there is a Korean transfer student who is a junior. I’ve been meaning to talk to him for a while, but i’m terribly shy, so I ended up writing a note that basically said that he seems cool and that I would like to talk to him, but I’m shy, so don’t bring it upon yourself to talk to me; I’ll have to find my courage.

I somehow ended up with his number and we talked that afternoon. That was two days ago and I want to text him but I’m: 1) worried I might bother him ,2) really fricking shy, and 3) I’M REALLY WORRIED THAT I MIGHT BOTHER HIM. Not to mention I’m kinda too shy to actually talk to him at school, so it’s more like whenever I pass him in the hall, I smile and wave awkwardly. I need all kinds of help.

“Does this guy have feelings for me or not?”

Me and this guy have been friends for 2-3 years and last year I admitted to him that I had a crush on him. He said that he couldn’t be with me, because he was going to be in a relationship soon with another girl.

We stayed friends but not close. But the thing is that he never said that he does not have feelings for me but he always wants to be close to me, he stares at me a lot (like in every class), he’s always the one who wants to start a conversation with me, I’ve noticed that when people are talking to him they always look at me. Continue reading