“Am I in this relationship because it feels safe?”

I’ve been in a relationship with a guy I met online when I was in high school (I’m currently a freshman in college). We instantly clicked and we’ve been dating for a little over two years. He lives in a different state. He has come to visit twice and it definitely confirmed our feelings. We work so well together and he is my first love, as well as the first person I’ve ever had sex with.

We’re both in college and both very busy but we’ve always made time for each other and while it is a long distance relationship, we are always very connected (we FaceTime, call, and text constantly). In the beginning of our relationship I hid him from my family, however, my parents found out about us and didn’t like the idea of me talking to someone I’ve never met. I spent most of my time on the phone with him and it caused a lot of tension between my parents and I, which upset me because we have always been very close. Continue reading

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“Shall I date him or his best friend?”

About two months ago, my best friend since childhood confessed that he’s liked me for the last couple of years. Me, being myself, decided immediately that I wanted to preserve the friendship. We were the type of friends that both had really busy schedules but we’d hang out for hours and be at each other’s houses till the middle of the night.

So after a while of thinking things through, I decided I wanted to try a relationship. After informing him, he repeats that he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship and that he’s talking to a different girl. I know that he takes a long time to get over people in general so I’m unsure why he’s going after a different girl. I don’t know what to do. Should I hope for him to eventually stop liking her or should I get over him and date his best friend?

“My partner is closeted and ignores me in public”

I’ve been going out with a closeted non-binary person for almost 5 months now. This person is female by birth, but identifies as non-binary, so I’ll use “they” to refer to them. I’m a closeted trans guy, meaning that I’m female by birth, but identify as male.

Since we’re both closeted, we’re viewed as a lesbian couple. I’m okay with this, because we’re not very public with affection and everything, so it doesn’t matter. We’re not having any troubles technically, and I am utterly in love with them and want it to last forever.

The problem is, I’ve been out as “gay” for longer than they have, and I am much more comfortable about being open. This means that they will only talk to me before and after school in the library, when there aren’t many people around. Also, when they see me around school (we’re in different year groups), they just give me a small tight smile and don’t say anything. Continue reading

“How do I tell him without him getting the wrong idea?”

I’m a high school student and I’m best friends with this guy who is two years younger than me. We met and started talking in November last year. We chatted everyday and bonded really well. We liked the same things and made jokes together.

Around December he told me that he liked me. At that time I was really scared of telling him that I liked him back so I friend zoned him. He said it was okay and that we would still be friends. My parents told me that I’m only allowed to have a relationship when I’m in college. I totally agree with them but what if I just wanted to let him know that I like him but not have a relationship or anything? How do I tell him without him getting the wrong idea?

“She wants to know if I am willing to change”

My girlfriend went through my phone while I was sleeping, and saw texts I sent to a mutual friend of ours about another girl, whom all three of us know. The texts said how I found her cute and physically attractive and that her demeanor and voice are also attractive.

Obviously when my girlfriend read these it was unsettling and was very wrong on my end. She wants to work on our relationship but it’s hard. She wants to know if I am willing to change and make it work. But I am stuck between breaking up with her because she deserves better than me, or working on things.

“We are arguing because of her issues”

My girlfriend thinks she doesn’t have my full attention no matter what I do, because when we began talking months ago I liked pictures on Instagram while we were talking, not even dating. She assumes that I have eyes for everyone ever since that incident, no matter how much I reassure her, she won’t take me for my word.

She likes to bring up hypothetical situations and when I give my answer, it isn’t good enough or she twists it to fit her argument. She has a lot of self doubt and she blames me for it, we have come back to this same argument time and time again and this is literally our only problem in the relationship. She has threatened to leave me plenty of times but never has and she says my words don’t do anything, but it seems my actions don’t either. Continue reading

“My boyfriend wants me to talk to other guys”

My boyfriend has 4 jobs including grad school and we never see each other.  I’m perfectly fine with having a mix of a long distance relationship and a seeing each other relationship, but he thinks I grow unhappy and wants me to talk to other guys while we continue having our relationship.

I’m personally not that girl but he insists he doesn’t want me to have sex with them, just talk to form some type of relationship. I’m at a loss…

“Frustrated by a relationship that never was”

Let me just start this off by saying that I made some mistakes here, and they are now glaringly obvious to me now. I’ve spent a large part of my life not willing to put myself out there and take risks when it comes to love, but I’ve resolved to change that and live my life without being controlled by fear.

I met this girl about two years ago, and I’ve been crazy about her for some time. I finally asked her out in May, and she actually said yes. Then when I tried to work out the when and where of going out she started telling me she was busy. I re-iterated to her that I’d still like to take her out, and she re-iterated to me that she was very busy. I guess this is the point where I should have taken a hint, but I didn’t because I guess I didn’t want to. Or because I’m very rusty when it comes to relationships.
Continue reading

“Why do I have so much anxiety about my relationship?

I’ve been dating this guy for a year-and-a-half, and I’m scared of us running out of things to talk about, and of him falling out of love with me. Also, I’m scared of us not lasting, and honestly, our relationship gives me anxiety. It’s been like this since the beginning of our relationship.

I know there probably isn’t a clear-cut answer given only this description, but I was wondering if you could tell me what’s wrong with me. I mean everything about our relationship is great. We haven’t even argued yet. I don’t know why I have so much doubt in us, so I was wondering why do I feel like this?

“My partner thinks I’m a fool for believing in mythical creatures”

Please help settle this tiff between this couple:

“Realist” says:

My partner believes in elves and fairies and other mythical creatures as if they’re real beings interacting with us all the time — usually unseen but sometimes physically manifest. I don’t believe that to be real. I was testing just how committed to their belief they were, and after laughing at the idea that someone would actually believe something like this, we promptly began arguing about whether I was open-minded enough to be in this relationship.

“Believer” says:

I believe anything is possible, even things society says are not real. I believe that there are many unseen forces in the world – call them angels or fairies or whatever, I believe that these things are real and I know I’m not alone, people are afraid to talk about it because we’re afraid of being judged. My partner thinks I’m a fool for believing this and I don’t know if I can be in a relationship with someone who is so “mainstream” and unwilling to try on new ideas. When someone laughs at my beliefs I think that is a big red flag.

What do you think? Who do you side with, and what should they do?