“I’m upset with myself for being jealous of a friend”

So I have this friend who I went to school with, and now we’re at University together. We do different subjects and live separately so I don’t see her all that often at the moment – we’re both adjusting to the new lifestyle and such.

As background, the way that we got to know each other at school was partly through school plays. She would often be cast as a leading part and I really love drama but don’t tend to get big parts. Since we’ve arrived at University, though, that difference has grown so that now she’s been in two plays already in our first term and has another two and a student film lined up for after the Christmas holidays, and I have auditioned for a series of things, none of which I’ve got. Cry. Continue reading

“I got upset when he shared something personal with me”

So, I’ve never had a connection with another person like I have with this guy. We were never “official” but we were incredibly close. We’re both very jealous people, we both did silly things (nothing serious) just to get reactions out of each other, but it never really affected the relationship.

He treated me so well, too, I can’t explain how happy his presence made me. However, the other weekend he told me something really personal about his past. Something he’s never told anyone else, and instead of being a decent supportive person, I got upset about it (I was also 12/10 drunk at the time so I wasn’t being myself). I left the room because I didn’t know how to react to it. I’d been through something incredibly similar, and it triggered all these memories that I don’t want to think about anymore. Continue reading

“He stole my car keys, then tried to make me give him a BJ to get them back”

About three months ago, a guy from school/work asked me out to dinner, as a date, presumably. I gladly accepted, as this was a man I was growing fond of. It all started out wonderfully, mindless chatter, stories from work, and at once, I noticed a very protective aura coming from him. Even as we walked out, he was latched to me in an endearing way.

Things changed quickly. Right off the bat, he made it 100% clear he was a sexual person. Every time I wanted to come over just to CASUALLY hang out, he would grab me as I approached, kiss me, and begin to feel me up/grope in his driveway. Any location of the body, you name it. Nothing affectionate, nothing tender, and often times, bruises were left on my chest from his grip and painful bite marks on my shoulders, that stung a day later. I brushed it off, figuring that was natural in the moment. Continue reading

“My friend gave me mixed messages, then said I broke the girl code”

Here’s some backstory so you can better understand my situation:
I used to be friends with a girl, we’ll call her D. So D was dating this boy, we’ll call him M. D wasn’t a very good friend, she was super dramatic, problematic, and argumentative and she also lies ALL THE TIME. So D and I met in 8th grade. In 11th grade, D and M started dating. They both went to the same private school but I went to the public school. Whenever I was around both of them she would start problems and run out of the room crying and all this other dramatic BS. M and I became friends, and D didn’t mind that at all really. Eventually they broke up, but I stayed friends with both of them. D encouraged me to date M, and said things like, “you two would be so cute together,” “can I be a bridesmaid in the wedding?” “when are you gonna date already?” etc. Continue reading

“I feel so insignificant compared to her”

I like someone. Okay, yeah, we all like someone, but I like him a lot and don’t really know how to deal with it. And it’s not even like we’re friends, so it’s not a problem or anything.

My problem isn’t him, actually. My problem is kind of me. See, he has a girlfriend who’s really pretty and tall and thin and has long blonde hair and is incredibly skilled at drawing and her eyeliner is always perfect and I feel so insignificant compared to her. I mean, I will be able to get over this guy eventually, but I still feel really terrible about myself right now?

Can someone please give me advice on feeling more confident or at least how not to, like, compare myself so much? Because I found myself obsessively refreshing her Instagram the other day, and I think I need to stop.

Signed sincerely,

A Hella Jealous Insecurity Machine

“My girlfriend is insanely jealous”

Hello, I need advice to save my relationship. I have been dating this girl for close to three years. I love her with all my heart. She gets mad at me for little things (other girls telling me “happy birthday”, etc.). She would get very mad and block me. She would ignore me for days and no matter what I do, I could not fix it. I’ve tried giving her presents, apologising, admitting it’s my mistake (even though sometimes it’s not). But nothing works. I have accepted her character and love who she is, but things have been going south lately. She’s been getting mad at me every day (up from about once a week), she asked me to un-friend every girl from my Facebook friends, and I did it, to prove that I don t like other girls or talk to other girls at all.

Recently she checked my YouTube history, and she found some videos which have girls in the thumbnail as clickbait, and she is now ignoring me and blocking me again. She is becoming more and more insecure, and I don’t know how to save my relationship.

I have never cheated on her, I never talk to other girls, or even look at other girls. I don’t know why she just doesn’t trust me.

Continue reading

“I took Xanax and kissed my cousin’s friend”

I recently tried Xanax. I don’t really remember what happened but I remember kissing my older cousin’s friend. My best friend was there (who’s taken a Xanax before) and is being really distant now. She’s disappointed in me because she liked the guy I kissed, and because I took two Xanax.

I didn’t know she liked the guy. When she tried Xanax I was the only one who wasn’t mad at her and was there for her. I’ve tried talking to her to make her understand, and it’s sort of better, but she thinks this is going to mess up our relationship. What can I say to reassure her it won’t?

“My boyfriend keeps checking out other girls”

My boyfriend is a great boyfriend in every way except one (or it could be that it’s my problem, which is why I’m interested in other opinions).

So I feel he loves me and tells me nice things and I’m not insecure about how I look, it’s just sometimes when we are out together I notice him looking over my shoulder to watch someone else. I find it quite rude. I make a point about it and he will feel embarrassed. Usually in the moment he will say things like no I wasn’t checking her out I recognise her…or something else. The point is it makes me snap out of happy mood and jump into defense.

It happened last night while we were with friends drinking….but this time instead of explaining in a nice way he kind of just pushed it under the rug. I realised as we were both drinking with friends to just drop it but then the next day I tried to address it in a calm and non-drunk way that I don’t like it and find it disrespectful and he went nuts.

Continue reading

“Insecurity…”

Hi, I need your help and advice, please.

I have been seeing this girl for about 5 months now, and I think I’m in love with her. The problem, however, is her ex-boyfriend keeps calling and chatting her.

I have discussed how uncomfortable I am with that, but she claims there is nothing going on between them. Recently, she has been saving this guy’s profile pictures on her phone, and even had him as her bbm display once.

Continue reading

“Untrusted Still”

I’m really tired of not being able to talk to my SO about what’s bothering me in our relationship.

I’m not trusted. Despite being told that I am, I’m constantly under suspicion of doing something wrong. It’s evident by my SO looking thru my emails and stuff, facebook, and facebook searching my exes to see if there’s some connection still. I volunteer the phone and password and stuff because I’ve done nothing wrong. It hurts every time and makes me uneasy

I didn’t do anything inappropriate with my ex, I haven’t been in the same room as this person in over ten years. After my grandfather died, they expressed their condolences and asked to meet up for a cup of coffee and catch up next time they were in town. This set my SO off so much that I had to remove this other person from my fb altogether. There is no other contact with them. All of this was two years ago.

Two years later I still get accused of being out suspiciously late, get my stuff checked and have seen my SO searching/spying on my ex.

I’m not sure how clear this is, but I don’t really care that much about the ex, it’s more the actions of my SO. It hurts and the couple of times I’ve brought it up it makes it look like I’m pining for an old lover.

Is there a way to talk about it without it having anything to do with the ex at all? Do I just accept that this is the way it’ll be?

Who the hell do I talk to about this and please don’t say counseling, ive not the time nor money.