“Do I deserve a second chance?”

I had a relationship a couple months ago with this guy that I still adore. We broke up because I have emotional and mental issues – I was abusive and controlling but for the most part, unaware.

He didn’t say anything but slowly got distant and did things like have a headphone in when we were on dates. I’ve matured and seen the awful ways I treated him, I’ll regret not seeing what a monster I was, for the rest of my life. Continue reading

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“I love him but his eyelids disgust me”

We’ve been dating over a year and moved in together a couple months ago. We get along great, never fight, he is very attractive to me, we have great sex, we are emotionally open, have a lot of fun, and I honestly couldn’t get along better with a boyfriend if I tried.

But myy boyfriend has really noticeable veiny eyelids, and whenever he raises his eyebrows they show up like “Bam! Here I am!” I’ve started obsessing over the veins and hating to go in the daylight with him because I know when he raises his eyebrows his veins are gonna disgust me. I’ve tried ignoring them, tried to make them into something funny in my head, tried to trick myself into thinking they make him unique but I always go back to “ugh, I’m probably gonna have to stare at those forever if we stay together”.

But, I know that if I break up with him I’d lose a wonderful man. He’s so kind, smart, would do anything for me… and I feel like I’m being shallow and I don’t know what to do. I have told him about how I feel and he said “well there’s nothing I can do about those” and he’s right… So what do I do? I know most people will say “either get over it now or move on” but I can’t get myself to do either.

“I love him but am worried about his mounting debts”

I’m a 59 y/o female with same guy for 4 years and he is almost 65 y/o. We love each other but completely disconnect on financial matters. He talks about living together all the time and I’d love to, except he has no assets, owes thousands on credit cards (which he pays a little but needs a lot more to pay off) while I work hard, earn a good living and have assets.

I worry all the time about his finances because it will affect me if we live together. I’ve told him we can’t have a future without him getting his cards paid down but he wants to move in and give me his paycheck and let me decide how to allocate the money, which I don’ t want. I don’t need a rich guy but I really need a financially settled guy who doesn’t spend more than he earns! I am almost ready to break up with him but know that there aren’t many “good” guys out there. Any advice?

“Love at first sight and love at first read”

The guy I’m in love with doesn’t want me, and the guy who wants me I don’t give a damn about. I have this quasi relationship with a guy friend I went to high school with. He always tells me how cute and sexy I am but I know that’s all he thinks of me, he’s told me he doesn’t have romantic feelings. I’m only half-attracted to him physically even, but we’re both lonely and we both need a warm body in bed sometimes.

Meanwhile, there’s this OTHER guy. It was love at first sight. He’s contributed articles to a political newsletter I intern for, and when I read his writing, it was love at first read. He’s genuinely the smartest person I know, with a really cool taste and music and style, and really cute, boy next door good looks. I went out with him once and had a great time, and I thought he felt the same, but he said he was too busy right now to try to start a relationship. Besides, he’s planning to move across the country in a year or so for school.

I basically understand I should cut it off with the first guy, although it is hard when I know the alternative is being alone. I do not know what I should do about this other guy who I fell in love with at first sight who does not have time for me.

“I love a girl who isn’t interested in me”

I need advice. There’s this girl I like (I’m a girl as well). We have known each other for a long time. Recently, I’ve had a romantic interest in her and I told her so and we continued on as friends.

Last night, she told me she loves me, and she broke up with her girlfriend that night, providing screen shots for proof. But the next morning, she tells me she fixed their relationship and she’s sorry… I told her it was fine, when it obviously wasn’t. I was heartbroken. We haven’t texted all day and I still love her. What should I say?

“I’m a lesbian in love with a girl who hates me”

I’m 16. I’m a lesbian. And I’m in love with one girl from my school. But she’s not in love with me.
We were friends a couple weeks ago. And then I fucked up. I did stupid things and I can’t fix it. I suppose she now hates me. We don’t talk anymore. I miss her so much and I hate myself for losing the girl I love, even as a friend.

Now I see two ways for me. The first one is where I can try to apologize again (I tried but it didn’t work,) or try to do something to get our friendship back. I don’t know if it is possible, but I can try one more time, because I really love her and being only a friend for her killed me, but it was amazing to talk to her every day. And the other way is where I just accept all the pain and give up on her and make myself to forget her. I don’t know what is right. I want her back so much, but maybe it’ll be better for everyone if I give up on her.

I’m tired of wasting my time, my thoughts, my nerves, my tears on her. Maybe I should get over her? It’ll be painful and awful and I’ll probably die, but one day I’ll wake up and not be thinking about her.
So, what should I do?

“I’m mad about a guy that loves me but doesn’t wanna be with me”

Three years ago I met a guy. He was bi-curious, meaning he wasn’t sure about his sexuality at the time. We talked a while and we ended up getting close. I knew he loved me and I felt the same way.

One day he second-guessed himself, since he was scared and still new to the whole ‘liking a guy’ thing. He ended up apologizing for leading me on and he told me that he doesn’t like guys and that he was straight. Less than a week later, he had a girlfriend and they seemed serious. I was hurt, but I never stopped loving him deep down. I ended up getting with this girl (I’m bisexual) and she and I were super happy for about a year and a half but in the end we just turned into best friends because neither of us were really feeling it. Continue reading

My fiancé and I have fallen into a friendship”

I have been with my fiancé for over 7 years. In the beginning, we were madly in love and inseparable. As the years have gone by, I feel like we have fallen into a friendship. I do not ever want to hurt him. I have spoken to him about this before, and he became very upset and didn’t really understand it.

I am finding other people attractive and find myself fantasizing about other men. Recently my ex has come back into my life and has told me he loves me. I have always loved him, but I was hurt so much that I closed that all off. I don’t know what to do. Anyone been in a similar situation?

“I know my family loves me but I feel nothing”

I need advice because I don’t know how to do this delicately. I am soon to be 18 and without going into specifics,  I plan to move across the country after I graduate High School. In consideration to my mother, I’ve allowed her to still claim that I’m living with her so she receives welfare/death benefits, (my Dad died) even though I moved in with a relative in October.

I am the youngest of a large family but I am totally uninterested in human relationships on a personal level. I can be social and I’m very polite in my interactions but I secretly loathe the necessity. I am a straight A student with skills/love in the arts. I plan work under the table in my relative’s small business, part time, until my graduation but after that I want to cut ties. Now I know from an outside view this is a heartless act – the point is I don’t care. But if there are any mothers or families who’ve experienced a relative cutting ties, I’d be curious how it impacted you. I told my mom I’m leaving but I haven’t said where and I’m not sure if it’s kinder to maintain the facade with other relatives who wish to see me. As I’ve said I can be charming – I know my family loves me but I feel nothing.