“My parents are constantly fighting”

My parents constantly fight (I’m 12-14.) I don’t like it because my mom doesn’t want to be with my dad anymore, but she is doing it for me because we only have one income and it is my dad’s. When my dad goes on business trips, everyone is much happier, but when he is home there is always fighting.

I really don’t like it and kind of want them to just divorce because it scares me and it has since I was little (5 or so). I think I’m becoming depressed because for a while I have just wanted to die and when my dad is away I feel better. What do I do, because I like my dad but he really upsets me, my sister and my mom when he is home because he is always miserable. Help please!!

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“My boyfriend sent his ex videos of us”

I don’t know what to do at this point. So me boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We had our ups and downs. Before me he used to mess around with girls, had a couple of long-based relationships, but mostly messing around.

When we got together, we were bumping heads, but we did fall in love and worked things out. Recently there’s been one girl he used to mess around with — I found out that he sends her videos of us and basically gets off to it, trying to I guess convince her to get into it, too.

When I found out, I lost it. I knew her sort of because we’ve talked before. I told her I didn’t want them talking and she was being cut off after I went to him first. After the yelling, the crying, the begging, and him deciding to go to therapy, we are slowly working on this. And it’s better. Continue reading

“My wife has a slight drinking problem”

My wife has a slight drinking problem. Not an alcoholic but she just can’t control how much she drinks when we’re out with friends. We can’t go out and just have a couple beers or glasses of wine and enjoy an evening.

It starts out as one beer that gets drunk immediately, not chugged, but rapidly drunk, swallow after swallow. It’s like compulsive, it’s there and I have to drink it. Then she needs another one. Can’t just sip and enjoy it, nope, has to consume it because it’s there. About the third beer in, she’s getting intoxicated, but denies it. If I try to get her to slow down, she gets defensive and belligerent. Now it’s up to 5 or 6 beers and she’s loud, belligerent and nasty. We fight and argue about it and go home. Next time we go out I try to get her to control it but it never works, another spoiled evening, because she consumed too much, too fast and will not stop. She usually apologizes the next day and says she won’t do it again. Always does. This is very frustrating. She refuses to get help or counseling as she is convinced in her own mind that everything is fine. What do I do?

“My mom and I constantly argue”

I can’t seem to stop fighting with my mom, and it’s tearing me up inside. We have big differences in ideology and faith and obviously age, but we’ve always been pretty close. She came to visit me during Thanksgiving, and I found myself becoming very easily annoyed with her (and other family) and snapping and fighting.

Since then, it’s been so hard to go very long without having a huge argument over politics, opinions, each other’s choices, etc. She makes me feel like if I question her logic (I have been in school in the science field, so it’s hard for me not bring up objections to logic), that I think she is stupid and I hate her. But I have explained it’s not personal, then she says incredibly mean and cruel and yes, illogical things to me. Continue reading

“My boyfriend and I fight constantly”

My boyfriend and I fight a lot! We have been together for about 10 months now. We are both in our mid 20s. We broke up once around 5 months because of constant fighting. I was upset with him a lot because I didn’t think he was a good boyfriend to me at first. Perhaps due to his lack of relationship experience and years of sleeping around. But then I knew I wasn’t a good girlfriend either. I was very demanding and would be pissed for lots of small things and had the habit of ordering him around and occasionally making fun of him in front of his friends etc.

Little did I know, at that time, when we first started dating, he slept with his ex twice. It’s the only ex he had three years ago. He dumped her, and she has been in love with him/waiting for him for 3 years. He confessed to me last week. I was shocked. He said he wasn’t very serious with me at first cuz of the way I treated him, and he really wanted unprotected sex which I couldn’t give him. That he regretted deeply after we got back together the second time, and told her ex that we were getting serious so they should stop. And it never happened again. He cried so hard and begged me to give him a second chance. I eventually agreed but on the demand of checking his phone whenever I want, which he agreed. Continue reading

“Her constant small attacks are destroying me”

I have been in a relationship for eight months with my girlfriend. I have not felt the same since we got back from summer vacation. It started like most relationships, and we had our “honeymoon” phase. But that only lasted halfway through the summer. When we got back to school, things suddenly changed.

I have begun to notice the things she does wrong. Suddenly we can not go a week without arguing at least once. I can admit that 50% is me being an instigator, and no argument needs to happen. But the other 50% really upsets me, especially when she tells me that it’s nothing to be upset about.

For example: she will constantly find something wrong with me. I mess up speaking, she points it out. I mess up helping her with homework, she says, “I thought you said you were good at math.” Continue reading

“I don’t want to be a battered woman”

I have been with my boyfriend/father of my child for 4 years. He takes care of our child while I work. While at home he does apply to jobs. It’s just for the past 2 years since he lost his job that he’s never been able to get back on his feet.

In arguments he blames me for the situation we are in, never taking accountability for his lack of actions and lazy attitude. He lost his job pretty much the same time I found out I was pregnant, so I did know it was going to be hard, but I stood by him, did what I could to try to keep him motivated, and let him know I’m here for him and I know it’s hard. I never tried to kick him when he’s down.

When he lost job, his dad paid his car note, so I definitively don’t think it’s fair that he blames me, saying I’m the reason his life is where it is, that I have done nothing but bring him down, when he’s the one not really putting in the effort. I pay all the bills, food, basic necessities needed for life. When the tax income came in, he expected money. But he doesn’t financially provide anything, except watching his child, because he doesn’t work.

I would have given him money, but he got mad at me one day because he thought I had taken his phone, which I didn’t and never would. He destroyed my house — holes in the wall, tore down my closet, destroyed my shoes, broke my tablet. When I came home and saw this, he confronted me and was yelling in my face and put his around my neck. Yes he squeezed. It was uncomfortable. This was the first time he had ever been physical and screaming in my face like that with our child in my hands. Continue reading

“I apologize for things that aren’t my fault”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over four years. I am always the fixer, which means whether it’s my fault or his, I go to him first to fix any problems we have. Always. He hardly apologizes when he’s wrong and I apologize too much when it’s not my fault.

Tonight, we went out for some drinks and took an Uber. On our way back to the house, we accidentally got in the wrong Uber. The driver asked for his name, he said his name and confirmed. We hopped in. I guess the driver didn’t hear the name correctly. Almost home, we realized this mistake; the driver was a total asshole, and said pay cash or get out. Neither of us had cash so we got out. We made a report to Uber since we were stranded at midnight on the side of the road. We called another and finally made it. Immediately he placed a complaint with Uber. He said he wanted to file a police report and say the Uber driver was drunk driving or speeding and driving recklessly. Continue reading

“He yelled at me because I didn’t want him to lie to the police”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over four years. I am always the fixer, which means whether it’s my fault, or his, I go to him first, to fix any problems we have. Always. He hardly apologizes when he’s wrong and I apologize too much when I’m not.

Tonight, we went out for some drinks and took an Uber. On our way back to the house, we accidentally got in the wrong uber. The driver asked for his name, he said his name and confirmed. We hopped in. I guess the driver didn’t hear the name correctly. Almost home, we realized this mistake; the driver was a total a-hole and said pay cash or get out. Neither of us had cash so we got out. We made a report to Uber since we were stranded at midnight on the side of the road. We called another and finally made it. Continue reading

“My girlfriend is picking fights with me”

Lately my girlfriend has been getting angry at me for petty things, like, not replying fast enough to messages,  and then refusing to talk to me for hours over such meaningless squabbles. Anyway, she’s also been hanging out with this guy who I’m pretty sure fancies her quite a lot lately, in fact till very early hours this weekend. Both Friday and Saturday night she promised to come see me after but bailed both times. They’re friends because they’re both vegan, which is another thing she often criticises me for and sometimes threatens to leave me because of.

I’m normally cool about all this cos you know its part of being in a relationship (right?) and you need to be patient, but, just now, this guy posted a pic of just him and her together in a toilet mirror (?!) with the caption “Fav <3” and it makes me very uncomfortable he’s putting hearts with pictures of just him and her.

Maybe this is just my impulses and I’ll get over it but is this a valid reason to be annoyed?