“I’m worried I have damaged our relationship”

To begin with… I am severely traumatized by cheating and lying exes and in general a pretty insecure person. I know it’s not an excuse but it might explain where this is coming from. I am always so scared of losing him.

I did a mad mistake. A while ago I checked my boyfriend’s computer and found out he was having chats with webcam girls. One can be argued whether this is considered cheating or not but for me webcam sex is. I couldn’t stop after my discovery and checked everything from Facebook to browser history. We talked, he stopped it and I apologized for breaking his trust and swore to him and myself never to do it again. I really believed I would never do this again. Continue reading

“He says he’s committed to me, but he wants to keep living with his ex”

My entire relationship has been a series of “do this and be this way, and we won’t have any problems.” I have a hard time being controlled and breaking down walls to trust people. Finally, after all my efforts and much wear and tear emotionally, I have given in to every request.

That is not the problem, though. My issue is the last two years, I’ve been getting serious. After the ring and time invested with one another’s children, I feel betrayed and manipulated. I have been accepting of him living with his ex and kids half of the week. He would assure me they were done over and over again, yet he had me tip-toeing around her because I shouldn’t “rub it in.”

It recently came to light for her that he and I have been together. She is accepting of it now. Only problem is, he admitted to having sex with her monthly to make sure she was being faithful. Now that he wants to stay fully committed to me, and she knows about who I am, he has stopped and doesn’t want to do it. Continue reading

“I found pics in his phone of his stepsister in a bikini”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. I recently found a section of his notepad on his phone where he was keeping nude pictures of porn stars. I also happened to find pics of his stepsister in a bikini. What do I do? Before this, we never had any trust issues, but now I’m just disgusted. I love him and don’t want to just give up, but should I?

“My wife’s friends are tearing apart our marriage”

My wife has a best friend who gave her advice during a difficult time in our marriage. I did all I could to patch things up and become the man my wife wants me to be, but she continued to listen to the friend. She dogged me out, asking why I was calling her on Thanksgiving while deployed.

Upon returning, I had a suspicion that something was going on, so I took her phone and found text messages between my wife and her friend, dogging me out. I came home one day and found prepaid cards lying around, and she said she was throwing them away from work, but I later found a phone card in a drawer.

Later, I caught my wife lying three times about having a prepaid phone which I had discovered. I told her to cut off the relationship with the friend, because it’s destroying our marriage and because she consistency lies to me. I am honest, open, and trying to love my wife through arguments and disagreements we have. I see my mistakes of the past (no infidelity) and try to work out things. Continue reading

“My girlfriend keeps in contact with her old flings”

My girlfriend of two months has her ex-flings (not ex-boyfriends) in her phone contacts and in her social media (Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat), including one she was flirting and talking with during OUR talking stage. She claims to not have entertained anyone else after we became “official.” Either way, this irks me, and I don’t know whether or not I’m being insecure or if I should say something because she should cut them all off. I should mention that I was hurt in my past by a cheating ex, and I have major trust issues that I am working on. What should I do?

“My girlfriend cuddled with another guy”

My long-distance girlfriend gave me her Facebook login because I had a couple of doubts and came clean to her. She let me log in to it, but told me to stay off her friends chat. I did at first, but then curiosity got me. I went back about 4 weeks and I found that the guy she stopped talking to had cuddled with her every time she hung out with him at his house (About 4-6 times). A couple of the times, they kissed or made out as well, I asked her about him, and she said that they don’t talk or hang out and didn’t ever do anything remotely sexual. Do I call her out on it? Do I stay quiet and believe her?

“My boyfriend won’t text me photos when he’s out with his friends”

My boyfriend goes out to his friend’s house almost every weekend. That’s okay to me.  Previously (ages ago) I asked him to take a photo at their place, and he did, very reluctantly.

Yesterday he went out again, and I asked him to take a photo for me, and he completely refused and ignored me straight afterwards.

He came back today, and I asked him why he refused. After a while he snapped and said, “Then do you want me to just message you 24/7? Just take random pictures while I’m chilling with my friends just for you?” Continue reading

“My friend gave me mixed messages, then said I broke the girl code”

Here’s some backstory so you can better understand my situation:
I used to be friends with a girl, we’ll call her D. So D was dating this boy, we’ll call him M. D wasn’t a very good friend, she was super dramatic, problematic, and argumentative and she also lies ALL THE TIME. So D and I met in 8th grade. In 11th grade, D and M started dating. They both went to the same private school but I went to the public school. Whenever I was around both of them she would start problems and run out of the room crying and all this other dramatic BS. M and I became friends, and D didn’t mind that at all really. Eventually they broke up, but I stayed friends with both of them. D encouraged me to date M, and said things like, “you two would be so cute together,” “can I be a bridesmaid in the wedding?” “when are you gonna date already?” etc. Continue reading

“My husband is acting inappropriately with his coworker”

I caught my husband direct messaging a girl coworker several times, but he deleted it all before I could read it. He insisted it was innocent and that he was helping her out, because she was new. I chose to believe him, but now I found out he bought her a big bottle of vodka and put it in her car at work for her birthday.

Now he says the same thing, that he was just trying to make her feel good, because she is going through a hard time. No matter what I say or do, he just keep insisting it was completely innocent. He also keeps getting mad that I don’t believe him and says I have insecurity issues. My mind feels so messed up and confused at this point.

“My wife won’t stop texting her guy friends”

Should I stay or leave? We’ve been married for five years, dated for seven, have two kids, life great, no problems.

So here it is: my wife has always had guy friends. Before we met, she had slept with a few of them. So, when we started dating, I requested that they keep their distance. Fast forward to a year ago when I picked her up, very drunk, from night out. I found a text on her phone to one of these guys from the past whom she slept with saying “what you at.”

A fight started and she says that she can’t remember why she would text.

Fast forward.

She’s in a new job, and has met friends (guys & girls). She’s friendly with one guy, which is okay, but she wouldn’t stop talking about him every day and about what they got up to, and texting with him constantly. I sat down with her and explained that guy friends are okay, but this guy was getting too close. She said she would back off and respect my boundaries — just talk at work, but stop texting all day. Continue reading