“I’ve been dreaming about my coworker who reminds me of my boyfriend”

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years with a good guy. He’s honestly a good person. We’ve been together since I was 20 and he had just turned 30. The first four months of our relationship were amazing. Total honeymoon phase. But after we started living together, he started to show his true emotional weaknesses. He would play video games for hours, sometime bordering on days. He would come home from work and ignore me until bedtime, where he would toss and turn until morning, only to do it all over again.

We never did anything fun or went anywhere together. I was starting to feel incredibly trapped and unappreciated. We fought all the time, with me always conceding my side to calm him down or make him happy. He finally got some help with his depression and things got better.

We still fight, and nothing I do seems to be good enough for him. I’m too lazy, I’m not clean enough, I forget to do things, I’ve gained a bit of weight. All these things make me feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I always feel like the one who is more caring and affectionate. We didn’t have sex for months at a time. And we when we did, it was lacklustre and sad. When I lay it all out like this it seems horrible. Continue reading

“My girlfriend keeps in contact with her old flings”

My girlfriend of two months has her ex-flings (not ex-boyfriends) in her phone contacts and in her social media (Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat), including one she was flirting and talking with during OUR talking stage. She claims to not have entertained anyone else after we became “official.” Either way, this irks me, and I don’t know whether or not I’m being insecure or if I should say something because she should cut them all off. I should mention that I was hurt in my past by a cheating ex, and I have major trust issues that I am working on. What should I do?

“My female friend can’t take the hint that I’m not into women”

My platonic female friend (I am also female) has been flirting with me almost non-stop. We’ve been friends for a very long time, and I’ve made it clear that I’m only interested in men. I admit that I’m disgusted to think of her romantically, but she really can’t take the hints that I’m giving her. This isn’t something I’d like to stop our friendship over, but how would you suggest that I get her to stop?

“I have a crush on my boss”

So, I started working my current job when I was 18. I’d never had any sexual/romantic interest in another person at this point in my life, and never thought I would, until I met my boss.

He was a breath of fresh air compared to the younger boys I worked with, had a great sense of humor and was really easy to tease/get flustered, which I enjoyed. He’d tell me I was like a little sister, easy to read. But like most of these stories go, he was already in a relationship.

He would randomly mention his fiancee when we spoke so I took that as a signal to stop speaking to him so much, which I respectively did even changing shifts to give him space. Some months went by and it was kind of awkward between us because a mutual friend had told him I was crushing on him and he kept asking why I was dodging him, he felt lonely. Continue reading

“Is he still into his ex?”

Does he still have feelings for his ex? The first year we went out, he never really liked any pictures of me on social media, nor did he post anything. He told me he wasn’t much of a social media person, and I believed him. After having some doubts later on, I looked through his phone (I know that was bad), and saw that he liked two pictures of his ex about 6 months ago and has repeated searches for her name. They haven’t been together for the past three-and-a-half years. He has liked pictures of other girls as well (in bikinis and such), but refuses to like any of mine. We are long distance, so I figured social media is a good way to feel connected. I confronted him about it. He said he has no feelings for her and that he was just being stupid. So I asked him to cut her off on social media. He seemed so hesitant, but finally did it. My gut tell me something is up.

“I have a new job, and a new office crush”

I just started a new job at the beginning of the summer, and globally everything has been going pretty well: I’ve developed friendships with a lot of my colleagues, and I also enjoy the casual work environment and the work itself a lot. However, there is this one colleague that always made me a little nervous and self-conscious; it doesn’t help that he was the one who mostly trained me when I arrived (we work on the same project). I always thought he had a dreamy smile and I kind-of feel attracted to his personality and his intelligence. However, lately this little attraction has grown into a full blown crush that is making my life in the office difficult, plus I feel super guilty because I already have a wonderful partner of three years whom I am deeply in love with and feel lucky to have. Obviously, I don’t want this crush-thing to go anywhere romantically-speaking. I’ve read a bit online and I know that crushes can happen even when you are already committed; it doesn’t change the fact that it doesn’t feel good. I tried rechanneling this excitement and extra energy into my relationship, and everything is going pretty well on that front. It is more the work-related consequences of this attraction that worry me. Continue reading

“My husband is talking to other women”

So, my husband and I have been together for 11 years. Lately, he seems really uninterested in me sexually or emotionally. We don’t talk unless it’s about bills or something serious. I’ve noticed lately he has been chatting with some old friends of his who happen to be female. One of the females was very disrespectful to me, and he did not defend me, but, he claims it’s just a friend, and that she is not attractive to him.

Yet, he has long private conversations with them – one of which was a sexual conversation that was supposedly a joke.

He says he loves me and is afraid to lose me, but am I really just being naive and being played or am I just being crazy?

“One minute he’s flirtatious, the next minute he’s distant”

I am VERY confused. About a month ago, I started college and on my first day I met this boy in one of my courses. Immediately I was attracted to him and after a couple weeks passed and conversations started to flow, I started to gradually develop feelings for him. However, I was scared to ever admit this to him for many reasons. Despite the fact we had only known each other for a short amount of time, he was also always mentioning that since he has started college he has had to “friend-zone” a bunch of girls, as the attention from them was becoming annoying and he was only looking for a friendship. I didn’t want to be added to this list.

After texting him for a while, we decided to meet up for the first time outside of college. He came round mine and we hung out for a few hours. Everything was going fine and we were both more comfortable around each other compared to how we were at college.

However, things soon got very confusing, as at the end of the night we kissed. Usually I don’t kiss someone who I am only friends with, but something felt right and honestly I couldn’t have been happier. Continue reading

“I can’t tell if my coworker likes me”

So I’ve written a blurb before, but things have changed quite a bit since then, and now I’m just as lost as I was before.

I have an immense crush on my coworker. I have for quite a while now. Everyone at work kind of knows Im fond of him. I’m not a particularly friendly person, and I’m usually pretty quiet/shy, so it’s been pretty obvious that I like him. We were fast friends, too. We like all the same things, have the same sense of humor etc.

But since it’s so OBVIOUS that we get along really well, my coworkers tease us constantly and sometimes they can be pretty crude/inappropriate about it.

It’s led to us kind of looking over our shoulder before we talk to each other and sort of pretending to ignore each other sometimes because our coworkers watch us like hawks. We’re their entertainment. My boss has gotten increasingly more rude to me as a result of all this too.

We’re just friends. Flirty friends. We always have been … despite the rumors. We’ve talked about a “friends with benefits” kind of thing just once (in private, after another coworker stirred the thought into existence) – about a week or so ago. We mutually decided that we’d like to — but it’s a really bad idea. This was decided after we both severely overreacted to each other’s hesitation and got into an argument. So the verdict was that it would ruin our friendship, and we dropped it and went back to just being flirty friends. Continue reading

“Should I treat this as a date or just a friendly outing?”

A few months ago, this girl I like invited me to her party. I go, talk with her, talk with her friends, have a pretty nice time, but didn’t really make a move on her there. Afterwards, I send her a simple “thanks for the invite” text and ask her to do something. She gives me no response. Bums me out a great deal, so I go about everything else. A few months later, on my birthday, I post a before and after picture of myself since New Year’s (I dropped 20 pounds). She likes the pic, gives me a happy birthday post, and actually suggests doing what I was asking her to do.

I won’t be able to see her for about another month, but just wondering, should I treat this as a date or just a friendly outing? Advice appreciated.