“Is the grass greener on the other side?”

I have known this woman for about 8 years. We have been dating for 4 and have been engaged for 8 months, set to marry in December. I’m not sure if I’m in love with her anymore, yet I think she’s perfect. I can see myself living with this woman and having children with her but I’m not happy anymore.

Everything about getting married is stressing me out beyond comparison; money, a house, the wedding, every part of it. It’s draining me. I’m not sure of what to do anymore. Part of me wants to stick it out to make her happy and maybe I’ll be happy. Then another wants to just end it and experience everything out there. We’ve been together since before high school graduation and we are now graduating college.

I feel as though I’ve been tied down and I’m starting to desire something else. More and more women are catching my eye and I’m crushing on a coworker. I’m losing my mind and am looking for some guidance. Thank you in advance for any wisdom and advice shared. I appreciate it.

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3 thoughts on ““Is the grass greener on the other side?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    You know what’s a lot more expensive than a wedding? A divorce. You are not ready to get married. End this relationship now and let her move on to someone who fits her needs better. Staying to make someone else happy is only prolonging the inevitable. If you need to explore then go to it.

  2. Cassie says:

    Think about it..she s been with u, put up with u..for what?? Cos the girl is in love with you..hadnt you been in love with her, u guys wouldnt have come this far, its just a rough phase and ur marriage anxiety that is making u think this way…everyday u ll get to see new girls, but alas it s going to be ur girl at home thats going to make you feel at ease and at home..

  3. Anonymous says:

    Definitely, confide in her about your fears. I suppose it’s natural to be terrified of making the wrong choice when it comes to something as profound as deciding who the right person with which to spend the rest of your life is going to be. Talk about perspective plans that could help alleviate the stress. Maybe talk about having a more intimate wedding, among friends and family. A smaller celebration to say you’re committed and then when the two of you are more financially secure, you can hold a more prominent celebration. A very crucial factor in any relationship and especially marriage is communication. I’ve struggled a lot personally the last few years with a girlfriend that I’ve known since high school but I also met another girl who is so much sweeter and incredibly more accepting of my fears and doubts and worries along with me. God, she even knows I have a girlfriend but she’s poured her heart out to me in so many ways. Again, attractiveness or the possibility of having kids shouldn’t be your top priority. It should be whether or not this is a person you can confide in any topic and never have to fear being punished for it. We’re all human. We’re prone to fear and mistakes and openness from both sides are the best way to weather the storm. So think very deeply about whether or not you have that level of communication. Let her know this is overwhelming and you’re terrified. There’s no shame in being so afraid of something that should seem so happy. If what you have with this woman is lasting, it should transcend a marriage, y’know? That’s a public spectacle. Marriage or not, if you two can hold each others’ hands through difficult things and lean on each other, that’s what you should take comfort in. If she responds poorly to your fears, then… that’s something to take into consideration. You’re not obligated to stay with her. You should want to, not need to. I’ll be praying for you and I wish you the best, despite all the troubles.

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