“He says he’s committed to me, but he wants to keep living with his ex”

My entire relationship has been a series of “do this and be this way, and we won’t have any problems.” I have a hard time being controlled and breaking down walls to trust people. Finally, after all my efforts and much wear and tear emotionally, I have given in to every request.

That is not the problem, though. My issue is the last two years, I’ve been getting serious. After the ring and time invested with one another’s children, I feel betrayed and manipulated. I have been accepting of him living with his ex and kids half of the week. He would assure me they were done over and over again, yet he had me tip-toeing around her because I shouldn’t “rub it in.”

It recently came to light for her that he and I have been together. She is accepting of it now. Only problem is, he admitted to having sex with her monthly to make sure she was being faithful. Now that he wants to stay fully committed to me, and she knows about who I am, he has stopped and doesn’t want to do it. Continue reading

“My wife’s friends are tearing apart our marriage”

My wife has a best friend who gave her advice during a difficult time in our marriage. I did all I could to patch things up and become the man my wife wants me to be, but she continued to listen to the friend. She dogged me out, asking why I was calling her on Thanksgiving while deployed.

Upon returning, I had a suspicion that something was going on, so I took her phone and found text messages between my wife and her friend, dogging me out. I came home one day and found prepaid cards lying around, and she said she was throwing them away from work, but I later found a phone card in a drawer.

Later, I caught my wife lying three times about having a prepaid phone which I had discovered. I told her to cut off the relationship with the friend, because it’s destroying our marriage and because she consistency lies to me. I am honest, open, and trying to love my wife through arguments and disagreements we have. I see my mistakes of the past (no infidelity) and try to work out things. Continue reading

“He let his friend drive my car and lied to me about it”

I am dating a guy. We recently went out of the country together. When we were away, he let one of his guy friends (whom I have never met) drive my car, and he lied to me about it. I found out because I found a receipt in the car, and when I asked him about it, he lied initially. I asked him again, and he came clean. I was annoyed, but tried not to get too upset about it. I have a tendency to overreact. He didn’t understand my being upset. Was I wrong for being annoyed by this?

“My fiance is still seeing his ex-wife”

We’re sitting here talking, and he’s texting her. He doesn’t think I know, but I do. He changes her name to the person he is talking about or “talking to” the most that day and acts like the conversation is still going on.

She is his “ex”-wife (and I use that term loosely), and I am his fiancee. He has told me stories of how horrible she was to him, and how she “bamboozled” him into marriage. Yet he still talks to her. I know a woman’s intuition is usually spot on, but not only do I have that “gut feeling,” I have the proof to back it up. I know what time he actually gets off work, but he doesn’t know I am aware of the time.

H stays with me every night and talks to me all day long, but I know when he is talking from work, and talking when he is with her. We have dubbed the day I found out about him being married (we have been together for over a year — again — now, and this is a recent issue from August) to be called “D-day.”  He has “walked away” from everything he owns and knows, and I know that he hasn’t. Continue reading

“He said he had feelings for me, then blocked me the next day”

A little over two years ago, I was just poking around on Omegle, having short, non-meaningful conversations with randoms. Then I unexpectedly met a guy that lived across the country from me, and we had a nice and long conversation. We ended up exchanging Skype names and later adding each other in Facebook. We messaged and Skyped each other every single night for about a month, and I ended up falling for him, hard.

I’ve never felt that way about someone in my entire life, not even my ex-boyfriend when we were together. He would play his guitar and sing for me all the time. The last time we Skyped, we admitted having feelings for each other and told each other that we wished we could meet in person. Mind you, he said it first. Continue reading

“My long-term boyfriend has multiple dating profiles”

I’ve just found out my boyfriend of three years has multiple dating profiles on tinder and POF (he left his computer open). I haven’t told him I know about them yet. I’m trying to decide whether to stay with him. We’ve lived together for two years, and have just moved to the other side of the country four-months-ago to be closer to his son from a previous relationship. I’ve bought a house for us (in my name, as he has a lot of personal debt), with the settlement due next week. He has cheated on me in the past when we first met. I’m not sure if I can forgive him again.  Should I pack up and move back to my home state?

“I caught my wife going to a guy’s house”

I caught my wife going to her coworkers house at 4:30 in the morning right before I got out of work — after I told her I don’t want her contacting him. Well I thought it was all good.

For some reason, I left my phone in car while I was at work. And the recorder was on. I asked her what she did after work, she said take a shower then to get me. Well she went to his house — I could hear them talking for a bit about going inside his house. They did for about 20 minutes, then got back in car, and I heard them saying they hope I don’t sneak up on them talking behind my back. I mean, she cheated. What do you think?

“My fiance disappeared for several days”

My fiance and I have been living together since January 2016. A month after, he was sent to work on a job 600 miles away, and we only saw each other on weekends — which was also split up between time with his kids.

His ex does not allow me at any family events, like sports games, or wants me around at all. Four weeks ago, I was put on medical leave, and he has changed drastically. His relationship with his ex has gotten a lot stronger. He has disappeared and spent the night over there three times and not told me, answered my calls or texts, and then is angry with me for being upset when he returns.

He was supposed to come home for good this past weekend. Everything seemed good the night before. Saturday & Sunday, he did not answer my calls or respond to my texts. He showed up at 8:30pm Sunday night like nothing happened, said he was on a “soul search” and tried to be all lovey dovey with me. He left the majority of his belongings in a “storage unit” and took an Uber home. His Uber record shows him leaving from his ex’s house. Continue reading

“Is it better to lie?”

My ex-boyfriend and I are still talking (not seeing each other), because we both have feelings for each other. Although we were exclusively dating, I never called him my boyfriend, because I wanted him to change first. After 6 months of dating, he went on vacation with his family and started flirting with another girl. They were both posting pics on Instagram and flirting online. He told me she was his cousin for the whole month he was on vacation. He told me the truth when he came back, but he said he never did anything physical with her and he’s in love with me. According to him, he wanted me to see and get jealous. If that’s the case, I don’t understand why he would tell me she is his cousin, but whatever.

I can’t trust him anymore, and I specifically told him I can’t be with him and that we’re just friends. It’s been 2 months. I feel weak and ashamed that I don’t have the strength to let go of him. I know I need to get him to move on too. I kissed another guy 2 days ago to try to forget about him, which only worked temporarily. Continue reading

“I can’t handle my son’s crazy girlfriend”

I’m 40, my son is 19, & his girlfriend is 18. They have an infant son. In an effort to keep this short, I’ll try my best to give a nutshell version, but will elaborate on anything if need be.

Their relationship was dramatic, as she got pregnant as soon as they met. Constant fighting & breaking up, as we got to know her we all realized she has a major mental problem. I don’t mean that in a bad spirited way, the girl needs legitimate help. She admits to being manipulative and having uncontrollable “personality” mood swings in which she does things impulsively & selfishly. She involves everyone she possibly can in her attention circus, calling out to people who have no clue what’s even going on. Literally everyone I know that isn’t her family has told me they get a bad feeling or vibe around her & she makes them uncomfortable. She treats and speaks to her parents like dogs, which my son used to hate but is recently resorting to.

Since the baby was born and a paternity test proved he was the dad, he’s wanted a family. I encouraged that, thinking giving her more love may help her get her head worked out. All was forgiven and I gave her another chance. For 2 months, while she breastfed, she was great. Sweet, caring, did a really good job with the baby. Once that tether was gone, she slowly went back to her old self. Started smoking again, drinking, partying, and running around. Her younger sister took on the role of caring for the baby. She started college, and soon began cheating on my son with a study partner. Continue reading