Tag: college

“I think I want to be more than friends”

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I started talking to this guy from my college like one and a half months ago, I barely knew him and never ever talked to him before, but it felt great texting and talking to him online. The very first day we kept talking for long and had even assigned ‘bye signs’ for each other on fb. He is an introvert and I was the only girl he talked to for so long.

The first month, since we were home, we only talked on social media. And then I met him and he was absolutely different than the person I used to text, he was definitely more closed, didn’t talk much. We met again, like 5 times now, and he is more okay with me now, is a little less weird. I like him a lot, he is my buddy, I like talking to him a lot. Now, I have reached a stage where I miss him if we have not talked for like 2-3 hours. I want to talk to him. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and message him first and he is the one I say goodnight before I sleep. And it has just been 40 days of talking. But I know for sure that he is not the guy I want to date.

Can anybody tell me what’s going on? Is it okay, to care for someone so much, want to talk to someone, expect and blush when they compliment you, want to go out with them but still want to be just friends?

 

“Do I break up with her sooner?”

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I’ve been dating this girl for a year and a half, but I’m finding that I’m just not happy anymore. When we first started dating I was very happy, but over time things have gotten bland. We get into occasional arguments but they are all super petty and we end up having very unhappy evenings because of it.

We usually make up, but I can tell that some things we have said still sting. She gets stressed often and I try to comfort her and encourage her, but when I get stressed, I feel she would rather let me deal with it on my own, and sometimes gets mad at me if I’m in a bad mood. We know we aren’t going to the same college and so we figure we’ll probably break up after we go off to college, but I’m starting to think it should be sooner.

I need my space, but I can’t tell her that without hurting her feelings. She admits she can be judgmental and petty, but after a while it still gets old. She’s been going through a lot, she’s constantly stressed with schoolwork and even her family pressures her negatively sometimes, and I feel that if I broke up with her, she’d be devastated. I want her to be happy, but at the same time, I feel I need to be happy too, and I don’t get that sensation I used to. What should I do? Should I break up? Or hope that going off to college will break us up for me, with less hurt feelings?

 

“The only reason I’m still at college is volleyball”

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I’m a Junior in college, I really messed up my second semester freshman year, and failed three classes. I pretty much learned my lesson and haven’t had anything below a 3.3 GPA after the fact, and even got a 3.73 my last semester. Which, by the way, is incredibly good for me because I never tried very hard in school. I’m not dumb or stupid, I’m just very lazy when it comes to school work. However, I’ve worked really hard the last couple semesters but this semester is really getting to me even though it’s not very difficult. I’m the opposite of a motivated person when it comes to schoolwork. I’ll work my job and work my ass off but when it comes to school work, my mind just refuses to let me focus. Continue reading →

“We were so happy and insanely in love”

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They’ve been together since high school. But now, the stress of both college and her mom’s cancer has taken a toll on their relationship. Is it worth fighting for, or is it time to let go?

Carly says:

 I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. We hit it off senior year in high school, and have now made it through our first semester of college. We were so happy and insanely in love.

Two days before I went to college, my mom was diagnosed with stage four cancer. This obstacle has been a burden on our relationship. Every argument we get into now makes me feel even more depressed on top of all the stress I am dealing with. I have lost the joy and same amount of giddiness I have had in the past.

We have been going through an extremely rough time recently, and our relationship is suffering. I’m not sure if all this is because of what I am having to deal with or if it is time to let go. I want to fix things and I know he loves me, but I don’t know if I should be investing all my focus into fixing our relationship. The last thing I want to do is end it, but I am so tired and stressed out. I’m not sure if I have the energy to mend this. I do not want to do anything impulsive.

Travis says:

 I love Carly with all my heart. Around our one-year, we started having a lot of problems. I deeply regret the way I acted at times and apologized over and over. I am committed to making a change in things, but I don’t know if she believes me.

I am a terrible plan-maker, and that makes Carly feel like less of a priority when I forget things. I say stupid things sometimes and always end up feeling terrible about it. I just hope I did not commit to making a change when it is already too late. I am afraid I already lost her. She is not in an emotional position to fix what is broken. I got so focused on college and finding a friend group that I lost the focus I had on our relationship.

I am trying to make a change, but we seem to always be at each other’s throats still. I think she has also lost sight of how happy she has been with me in the past, and I never want her to forget that.

“I can’t find a meaningful relationship”

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I’m an 18 year old freshman in college. I’m from India and I study at a university in the United States of America. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’m pretty depressed when I see other couples because I’d do anything to have a meaningful relationship.

I like to think I am a good looking guy (that’s what many friends, both guys and girls told me). I’m pretty funny and I believe I’m a nice guy. I care for everyone close to me and I love to help people in need. I’m pretty outgoing and I can literally talk about anything. I never bore people and every friend I make gets close to me in a few weeks.

I feel lonely even when with friends and I get depressed when I think about me not finding love or having a relationship. I’ve moved to the US only recently but I already made a ton of friends who are of Caucasian, African American, Asian and Hispanic origins. I would say I have no problem in talking to strangers and I can’t understand why I don’t have a girlfriend. I have no other mental problems and I’m sure no one thinks I’m weird haha. I talk to a few of my close friends about how I’m struggling in finding a girlfriend and venting helps me be okay. I’m about 6 feet tall and I’m not fat nor do I have abs.

The problem in short is I can’t seem to find love or a relationship and I’d be thankful for any advice you guys can give me. If you guys can think of any other reason why I can’t find a relationship, please let me know. Thank you 🙂

“I’m not lazy, I’m insecure”

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I’m a college senior with an English major and a music minor. I’ve finished 75 of the required credits, I have 49 credits left to graduate, that means I’m taking 18 credits in the Fall of 2017, I’ll have to take 18 credits in the Spring of 2018, and at least 13 in my last semester to graduate in the Fall of 2018.

I also was born with Spastic Hemiplegic CP, and I suffer from dyscalculia as a result. I tried to go to the Disabilities specialist for my school with documentation of my disability to see if I could get out of the math core, but they wouldn’t budge, so I have to take College Applications Math (Finite Math) to graduate, even though it’s likely that I’ll never use it again afterwards in my life. I tried to take the three credit Finite Math class, and even got tutoring. But my grade wasn’t getting above an F in the class, even with all that help, so I dropped it. Now, I’m going to be taking the four credit Finite Math class, which is slower and covers some remedial topics. But I’m still not sure I’m going to be able to do it, even with the best tutoring. Continue reading →

“My life is a mess and I’m completely lost”

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I’m completely lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is a never ending spiral of failures. I’m 16 and I know, “I have my whole life ahead of me”, but do I really? Every single Honors student know what they want to do with their lives, and then there’s me. To be honest, I don’t even think I’ll live past age 20, let alone finish College and University.

My mom hates me. She keeps me as a prisoner in my own house. And that’s not to sound dramatic or anything, I’m actually not allowed to leave the house. I couldn’t even go to my friend’s graduation back in May. She never let me leave the house over my summer break, she doesn’t let me hang out with my friends.

I’m a good girl, good grades, top test scores, AP classes, but none of that means anything apparently. To her, I’m just a sex crazed idiot like “teenagers are supposed to be.” She won’t even let me get a job. And there’s the fact that she constantly cheats on my dad and forces me to keep it a secret (this has been going on since I was about 7.)

I get bullied. Endless racial jokes about me being Mexican, come at about every second. And if it’s not a racist joke, it’s some insult about how I’m a ‘prude.’ It’s gotten to the point that I can hear their words when they’re not around. I feel like the walls around me are quickly closing in and I have nowhere to go. Please, what am I supposed to do?

“Should I have given him my details?”

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I am starting college in a new country in September and unfortunately my boyfriend of over two years will be staying in Ireland. While I was abroad looking for accommodation I bumped into another Irish student who had just finished his first year there.

He asked me to write down my details and he would give me advice on things he wish he knew before starting college. I told my boyfriend and he got extremely jealous. He is making me feel like I did something extremely wrong, yet everyone I have talked to say that he should be supportive and happy that i have made a new contact in this strange new country.

Am I wrong for giving this boy my details or is he wrong for being so jealous over an innocent act?

“I can’t get over my girlfriend cheating on me”

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This is a long story. I’m a freshman in college and have been dating this girl for 6 months. We have told each other we that were in love and want a future together. There’s just one thing I can’t get over.

Before we were officially dating, we kind of a had a “thing” going. We went to each other’s fraternity/ sorority formals and what not and had sex. However; at a party, I was helping a friend who happened to be a girl, who was very intoxicated. Someone seeing me sit down with her on a couch assumed I was “hooking” up with her. I was not. This person told my now girlfriend this, and she ended up leaving with another guy and having sex with him.

I know this might seem like it was a misunderstanding but it hurt me more than anything I’ve ever experienced. She apologized the next day and I gave myself days to think it over. I decided to give her another chance and we began what is now our 6 month relationship. I am happy being with her, but when I think about this night, it brings back a lot of pain for me, and I just haven’t fully gotten over it.  Should I still be in this relationship?

“My boyfriend is being a jerk about prom”

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. We were good friends when he was in high school, but never dated. Now he is in college 5 hours away, and I’m still in high school and we are happily in love.

However we are having a situation over prom. My boyfriend hates prom. With a passion. He thinks of it as an excuse for boys to have sex and get drunk and girls to be sluts. I think this is a ridiculous stereotype. I can’t even mention the word prom without him getting mad. He keeps making comments saying that he is going to be a jerk the night of prom.

It’s not fair for him to ruin my high school experience. I love him and see a future with him so I don’t want this little hang up to ruin us, but it hurts my heart.