“He hasn’t been the same since leaving the army”

I’m married and my husband was just discharged from the army for attempting suicide in basic. We moved in with his parents. I’m scared he’s cheating on me or isn’t in love with me. He always goes in to work early or stays late. Once he came back late smelling like perfume. Always agitated. Emotionally absent – does nothing if I cry. Always hides his phone. We used to fight a lot but now it’s just silence. I know he’s depressed and upset at himself for “yet another failure “, but I can’t tell if it’s just him or us or me.


“Do I tell him I cheated?”

I met a guy at work during a rocky point of my relationship, who introduced me to his poly-amorous lifestyle. Once we got to know each other, there was some really strong attraction between us, and after some flirting over a few months, we ended up dirty texting each other and slept together twice: once really drunk, and once sober.

After it happened sober, I had an eye opening realization about everything I was fucking up, and how much I love my boyfriend. So I ended everything, and will NEVER cheat again. Honestly made me realize that I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. What I’m trying to figure out is if I should tell him?

I know 100% certain I will never cheat again, and that he is the person I want forever, so I feel like maybe it would be better for him to just never tell him, and that telling him might make me feel better about my guilt, but just hurt him and ruin us in the process. Just looking for some advice from anyone who has been on either side of this scenario, and how you think the best way to proceed is.


“I cheated because we never have sex”

So here’s the thing. I have a boyfriend. We’ve been together for 7 years and I truly love him, he’s my best friend. My problem is, we’re pretty much just friends. The intimacy is gone. On his end. He doesn’t want to have sex anymore, and even the rare occasion it does happen, it’s like a chore for him and I’m always left wanting more.

He’s gained some weight (which I find sexy af) and is very stressed out, which I’m sympathetic to. I just need some kinda intimacy in my life. I’ve tried to discuss it after about 2 years of unsatisfaction, he won’t even tell me exactly what he’s going through or how to help. He’s even gotten angry when I pushed this discussion.

I’ll be honest, its led me to infidelity. I don’t wanna leave him, I love him more than I’ve every loved anyone, but like everyone, once in a while, I feel starved for emotional AND physical affection, and I’ve strayed to an ex who I know still loves me. I always feel like shit after, but 6 months later I’m calling that side man.

Should I let him go, or stick it out?


“I’m worried about my friend”

I think something is going on with my friend and I don’t know what to do. Through time she’s been slowing changing. For the past couple of years, she’s been dating a bunch of different guys and has cheated on a lot of them. During this time she had a not so great family life. She started drinking a lot. Then she met a different guy who she dated for a while and moved away with.

She told me after they broke up that he had been verbally abusing her, he was into hard drugs and they had been drinking all the time together. Now she’s on and off with him and dating a few other guys and drinking. I get the feeling that she’s using this as a way to cope and I don’t know what to do. I wanna help her but I don’t know how.


“He’s obsessed with my racy past”

I am a woman in her late 20’s, and have a bit of a wild past with incidents of random hookups, with both men and women. My current partner found out about the hookups with a girl and even a threesome and now every time we have sex, despite me telling him it makes me uncomfortable, he asks for me to talk to him, and tell him about the hookups with girls and the threesomes.

I fear it is the only way he can cum and that he isn’t even thinking about me anymore. Now he also wants a threesome with another woman and I do no,t and it is causing a lot of tension. I have expressed to him why it makes me uncomfortable and the fears I have of it destroying our relationship. Even so, he pushes for it and throws it in my face when we fight. He also guilts me over it because “I’d do it for my ex, but not him”. He also calls me selfish for not fulfilling his fantasy due to my own emotions. Aside from this issue things are close to perfect. I do not know what to do.


“My love life is a complete mess”

I’ve made my love life a complete mess. I was dating this wonderful guy, off and on for 3 years. I cheated on him twice (yes I know, I’m awful) but we got back together after both.

He bought me all kinds of thoughtful gifts, made me close with his family, planned a future and was just great. In February I broke up with him to date my friend from work, who I thought I was madly in love with. It felt incredible, like my last relationship just sucked, and this felt great. That only lasted for a few months and now I feel sad all of the time and find myself constantly thinking about my ex.

I currently live with my boyfriend which makes this all so much worse. Do you think I actually regret ending the relationship? How can I love someone and want to be with them if it was so easy to leave?


“I don’t want to meet the guy she cheated on me with”

She cheated on him 15 years ago, and they’ve moved on from it. But now, they’ve been invited to a dinner where the guy she cheated with is going to be in attendance. How should they handle this invitation? Here are their sides of the story …

Moite says:

When my wife and I were going out before we were married, she cheated on me with this guy she liked before we got together. I forgave her and moved on. Now — many many years later (like 15 years) — we have a party with one of her friends, where the guy she cheated on me with is going, too.

I’m upset about it. I have never had to meet this guy and obviously have no interest in doing so. I get it was a long time ago, but there is nothing like having to go meet the guy face-to-face to open up an old wound. I’m hurt because it was her mistake, and she should have protected me from being put in this position where I will feel humiliated.

She didn’t even tell me about it. Her friend throwing the party did the asking if I minded. It will be embarrassing and humiliating to have to go to this, but would be more humiliating saying I can’t go. It’s her friend’s party. I found out he is going from the friend, not her. She should have not let this situation occur and protected me from this humiliating experience.

Frieda says:

I made a mistake and cheated on my husband when we first started going out. It’s a big occasion for my best friend, and I found out this other guy is going to be there. I didn’t want to bring it up as it was a long time ago, and I thought we would have all moved on now.

I knew he would probably not be happy about it, but surely its not the end of the world, and we can get on with our lives. He sees that I chose him, married him, and this guy doesn’t mean anything to me. How long do I have to pay a price for this?

I think he is actually upset because he recently found out I also slept with this guy I cheated on him with a couple of years later when we had broken up and not gotten back together yet. I was single then and did nothing wrong in that.

It’s my bests friend’s special occasion — I can’t tell her I can’t go because he will be upset over something 15 years ago!

“I can’t cope with losing her”

My girlfriend whom I live with and was prepared to propose to, cheated on me and left me. She’s older than me but decided she needed independence. She has crippling anxiety that she doesn’t know how to manage. I have done nothing but help her. I have done my best to be the best supportive partner that I can and I feel that I am a kick ass girlfriend. I feel like she’s leaving because she doesn’t understand what she’s feeling. She doesn’t understand what’s going through her own head. Continue reading

“I found condoms in his pocket”

My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months. We stopped using condoms when we ran out, a few months into our relationship. Today, while doing laundry, I felt something in his pocket, so I pulled it out, so whatever it was wouldn’t get washed.  I found 2 condoms. Is this a sure sign that he is cheating on me?