“I moved away, and realize that she is in my head.”

Wondering if anyone had any input for this…About 2 years ago I broke up with an ex and shortly after hooked up with a co-worker’s sister.  He was pushing me to date her but as soon as I tried to move things forward she backed off and said that we could be friends if that was ok with me. I played it nicely and just backed off as well. Then followed a year and a half of randomly bumping into her very rarely. I was a bartender, and my way to cope with the breakup was just by sleeping with strangers (something I’d never done before) and not really looking for anything serious as I was planning to leave the country.

About 5 months ago, word got out that I was on my way out and she contacted me randomly on Facebook. To keep things short, we reconnected a few weeks later, meeting and hooking up, and had sex for the first time. Had a few more encounters after that and a couple ‘dates.’ Spent my last night in the country with her and now that I moved away, realize that she is in my head. Continue reading

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“My man is always at someone else’s house”

Me and my man have had some problems in the past. When we first got together he was still seeing his ex behind my back. When I found out I broke up with him for a while. When I found out I was pregnant is when I gave him another chance.

Since then he really has changed. Other than I found out that he stopped by his ex’s house, not to see her, but to talk to her roommate who is a much older lady who he likes to gamble with. Even though he does spend most of his free time with me, it still bothers me. Also, just yesterday his ex’s roommate ‘Alice’ was at the corner store by our house. He says hello to her and she asks where he’s coming from? Instead of him saying from my girls house he says from down the street. Then she says to go by the house later… and he said okay. Then she asked him again ‘are you going to stop by the house’, and  he replied again ‘yea later on.’ Now he says that I’m over reacting and he just told her he would, but he is not going to. Now I want to know, am I over reacting?

“I regret breaking up with him so we could pursue our dreams”

Hi! I’ve been thinking about something for three years that i don’t really feel about discussing with friends, but I really need advice!

About three years ago, I had a lovely boyfriend. He was an amazing guy, and we just fit really well. But our future dreams were really different! He wanted to do another college degree on the other side of the country and go to America and live there for a while. My dreams were scattered before we got together, by an accident which left me with a big disability. But I still wanted to pursue going to New Zealand for a year, because my family is from there. I also still had to have two operations and finish my degree, which was super stressful and hard.

I broke it off after six months of exclusive dating, but I still loved him. I broke up with him because I wanted us both to follow our dreams. Continue reading

“My boyfriend and I fight constantly”

My boyfriend and I fight a lot! We have been together for about 10 months now. We are both in our mid 20s. We broke up once around 5 months because of constant fighting. I was upset with him a lot because I didn’t think he was a good boyfriend to me at first. Perhaps due to his lack of relationship experience and years of sleeping around. But then I knew I wasn’t a good girlfriend either. I was very demanding and would be pissed for lots of small things and had the habit of ordering him around and occasionally making fun of him in front of his friends etc.

Little did I know, at that time, when we first started dating, he slept with his ex twice. It’s the only ex he had three years ago. He dumped her, and she has been in love with him/waiting for him for 3 years. He confessed to me last week. I was shocked. He said he wasn’t very serious with me at first cuz of the way I treated him, and he really wanted unprotected sex which I couldn’t give him. That he regretted deeply after we got back together the second time, and told her ex that we were getting serious so they should stop. And it never happened again. He cried so hard and begged me to give him a second chance. I eventually agreed but on the demand of checking his phone whenever I want, which he agreed. Continue reading

“Her coworker threatened to kill me if I try to go anywhere near her”

I was in a relationship with someone for close to 3 years. We had decided early on that we wanted to get married. Recently, though, she broke it off, shifting all the blame on me.

I took the blame, being the nice guy, and she originally gave me a chance to win her back. But soon after (the next day), she retracted any chance to be in her life. She said she had been unhappy for a while, but never told me anything. I didn’t see a big change, since she was always negative.

I haven’t faltered once in the relationship with love. I always wanted to be there for her, but she ended the relationship without any chance for me to try to make things better. I am worried for her, so I told her family about the situation, and even they don’t know what’s wrong. She won’t answer to anyone in her family, and she’s lying when she says she’s talking with her family. Continue reading

“I can’t stop feeling guilty for breaking up with him”

I was with my ex-boyfriend for 5 years (from 18 to 23). I met him while studying abroad, far from home. It was a good, happy relationship for the first 3 years. We lived together, we planned our life together, I was convinced we were going to marry and all that good stuff.

Things became difficult because he was a heavy weed smoker. Because of that, so was I eventually, but I didn’t blame him for that. Life was really not rosy … we had no money, he had no stable job, he kept changing them and quitting and stuff (I had 3 and that kept us going). We were both pursuing careers in creative fields, but neither of us had much luck with that. I really disliked the country we were living at (his home country) and was always from the very beginning very vocal about it. His answer always was — yes, I agree, we should move, I want to leave, too.

This went on for two years, but nothing changed. Eventually, in desperation I stopped waiting for him, found a university I wanted to apply to in Germany, started learning the language, and informed him of what I was doing. He didn’t try to stop me, but wasn’t too encouraging either, just a “yeah do what you want” kinda attitude.

But I still loved him with all my heart even then, and also felt loved by him — never was neglected or abused. There was just this crushing apathy about him that hurt me the most. In a year’s time, I found out I was accepted and realised I was going to have to move. I was delighted. I burst into tears, realising I could actually escape the life that was leading nowhere, working shitty miserable jobs just to survive.

His reaction, however, was unexpected: He was terrified and panicked. How can he move to a different country, he doesn’t know the language! What will he do there? I will study, but what will he do? And to top it all off, he told me I couldn’t just drop this on him so suddenly! I’d been telling him I wanted to move for 3 years, and that I applied to universities a year in advance. THAT hurt. And stuff did go sour then. We both became very hurt and scared for what was gonna happen to our relationship. However, we both loved each other, had a connection, and wanted to make it work.

So we tried. I moved on my own, with no help from him. I found an apartment, bought furniture, sorted out all the bills and legal matters. It wasn’t easy to be on my own after 5 years of having back up. And to top it all off, he called me to say he was diagnosed with severe clinical depression, and me leaving made it even worse. Continue reading

“I’m ready to leave him, but can’t get past the guilt”

I want to leave my boyfriend of five years, with whom I have two kids. I have known the relationship has been over for two years now, but have stayed despite my many attempts to leave, because it’s … just easier. It’s easier to stay where I know how things are than to venture into the unknown. It’s easier to just deal than to break someone’s heart. It’s easier than dealing with all of the stress that comes with being alone.

Given it’s a unique situation for me, as I don’t have a car and have been relying on my boyfriend to get me around. I have been put in a very dependent situation with him, and I feel that is why it is the way it is.

The past year I have gotten an amazing job. I make great money, and I can afford to take care of myself and my children and then some. I’ll be buying a car this next week, and I’ll be independent once again. But I’m sort of holding out on telling him what is going on in my mind. I don’t know why he has been holding on. I’m sure he is as dependent on me as I am on him, in a financial way though. Continue reading

“My boyfriend annoys me very easily”

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. We are seniors in high school, and he’s been my best friend ever since we started talking sophomore year. Ever since we started dating, we’ve been inseparable. Some slight ups and downs, nothing too major. He’s close with my family, I’m close with his. We have many mutual friends, and we are truly great together.

For some reason, things have been off the past couple months. We fight a lot more than usual. But the thing is, I’m the one who starts the fights usually. I’m super sensitive, and it takes little to tick me off. My boyfriend is the sweetest, most innocent kid ever, but he annoys me very easily. I don’t know why. Sometimes I think I am a lot more mature and more intelligent than him. Other times I think I miss the way I used to be. I used to be a lot closer with my friends, and more carefree.

Thinking about going off to college soon terrifies me, only because I don’t know what to do. Anytime I hint a breakup, he gets so upset and I feel so awful, because there’s no specific reason for a breakup. I’ve just become sad recently, and I think I’d be happier without a relationship on my hands. But another part of me thinks I will be absolutely miserable and regret it. What if I never find a guy like him again? He’s perfect but I just don’t know where to turn. I feel like I’ve lost myself and we’ve lost our spark. Help.

“I want him back so badly”

I dated this guy for 9 months, and he suddenly broke up with me. I was heartbroken and fell back into a deep state of depression that I hadn’t felt since we started dating. I soon “got over him” but haven’t found anyone else, and cant bring myself to put myself out there to find anyone else.

A few weeks ago, he got drunk and told me that ever since we broke up, whenever he goes out he cant stop thinking about me, but when has sober he thinks more logically. He said he regrets the way that he treated me, like not responding to texts or ditching me on the weekends to play his computer games. He says in a perfect world where no one would judge us, we would be dating again because he knows that I miss him and have merely “gotten over him.”

He said he needs time to think about it, though, because he needs to focus on school and his games, but he misses me. I told him I couldn’t wait forever because it hurts and I am just sitting around waiting for him. My best friend is telling me that I need to do what makes me happy, and he is what makes me happy, but I don’t know if it is worth it to sit around waiting for longer, or if I should confront him and tell him what I think and just stay friends. I need help because this is ripping me apart. I want him back so badly.

“I need to break up my friend’s relationship”

My guy friend has been in love with his boyfriend since they were in secondary school, but since they got together, he’s been on a downward spiral. He used to be a smart little introvert and now he’s out taking class A drugs on the regs. The final straw was finding out he broke my friend’s arm during a drunk fight this week, my friend loves him too much to leave and I’ve always played friendly because I’d rather my friend be safe at my house than out fuck-knows-where but it’s too much now.

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