“I regret breaking up with him so we could pursue our dreams”

Hi! I’ve been thinking about something for three years that i don’t really feel about discussing with friends, but I really need advice!

About three years ago, I had a lovely boyfriend. He was an amazing guy, and we just fit really well. But our future dreams were really different! He wanted to do another college degree on the other side of the country and go to America and live there for a while. My dreams were scattered before we got together, by an accident which left me with a big disability. But I still wanted to pursue going to New Zealand for a year, because my family is from there. I also still had to have two operations and finish my degree, which was super stressful and hard.

I broke it off after six months of exclusive dating, but I still loved him. I broke up with him because I wanted us both to follow our dreams.

Since then, I’ve regretted my decision. I talked to him again half a year later over chat. He was friendly, but really distant. And he had blocked or deleted me on everything — which confused me, since we had a very peaceful breakup, in which he told me that I could always message him, and that he was open to dating again if our paths crossed ever again.

It’s now been three years since our breakup. I’ve been in New Zealand for six months now, and every week, I think about him. Is this normal? What do I do? It’s been like this since the beginning. I mostly get depressed if it was worth giving him up for my dream and visa versa.
I haven’t had a boyfriend since him, but I know he has a long-distance girlfriend right now.

Would it be okay to write to him about my thoughts and feelings?

4 thoughts on ““I regret breaking up with him so we could pursue our dreams”

  1. Anonymous says:

    No. He has a girlfriend and you are romanticizing a long dead romance. He’s blocked you on media sites which means you are hurting him or at least irritating him in some way.

    It’s time to date someone else.

    • Triss says:

      Have dated guys, so just keep going with that then? None of them come close. And he keeps on my mind.

      Also i’ve only talked to him that one time after we broke up. So i think be blocked me just to get over me, (right at the start, i’ve been unblocked for 2,5 year now else how could i talk to him) not because i’m annoying or bugging him which is not the case.

      So not revive a dead romance. Allright, how do i get over it? It’s not like it’s been a few weeks, it’s a few years! Thankyou for the advice nontheless 🙂

    • Anonymous says:

      i agree with this anon ^^. although it is hard to swallow the truth sometimes, you have to accept the fact that you’ve both (or at least he has) moved on from each other. if you message him and tell him your feelings you will just end up hurt if he doesn’t reply or if he gives you no response at all.

      you’re just going to hurt yourself if you try rekindling something long dead. accept this and move on, and i will always be here if you need someone to talk to.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I would definitely tell him how you feel. Life is too short. You don’t want to have any burden on your shoulders or regret of not doing something. Regret of not doing something is a bigger regret than doing something. If he is single, I know a ton of different people who have made long distance work! It all comes down to who’s in the relationship and how far they’re willing to go. If you haven’t felt anything like you did with him since.. maybe he is the one. And if you were the one to him then he wouldn’t be as happy in his current relationship. Say how you feel, trust me, you’ll feel so much better. And do whatever it takes to get him back if you can! It sounds like you guys really clicked, don’t let that slip away..

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