Hi! I’ve been thinking about something for three years that i don’t really feel about discussing with friends, but I really need advice!
About three years ago, I had a lovely boyfriend. He was an amazing guy, and we just fit really well. But our future dreams were really different! He wanted to do another college degree on the other side of the country and go to America and live there for a while. My dreams were scattered before we got together, by an accident which left me with a big disability. But I still wanted to pursue going to New Zealand for a year, because my family is from there. I also still had to have two operations and finish my degree, which was super stressful and hard.
I broke it off after six months of exclusive dating, but I still loved him. I broke up with him because I wanted us both to follow our dreams.
Since then, I’ve regretted my decision. I talked to him again half a year later over chat. He was friendly, but really distant. And he had blocked or deleted me on everything — which confused me, since we had a very peaceful breakup, in which he told me that I could always message him, and that he was open to dating again if our paths crossed ever again.
It’s now been three years since our breakup. I’ve been in New Zealand for six months now, and every week, I think about him. Is this normal? What do I do? It’s been like this since the beginning. I mostly get depressed if it was worth giving him up for my dream and visa versa.
I haven’t had a boyfriend since him, but I know he has a long-distance girlfriend right now.
Would it be okay to write to him about my thoughts and feelings?