I’ve been hanging out with a guy for about six months, nothing serious but we saw each other every week. The last time we hung out, I started to feel a little bored. Once you know someone for a while, you either begin to like them more, or less. I was liking him less. Nobody’s feelings were going to get hurt, so I decided to sorta phase him out. Stop hanging out so much and just let it drift apart.

Well this week, he didn’t get in touch to hang out like he always does. One thing I can say about this guy, though he never owed me anything (nor I, him), he was always consistent. He always made plans a day or two beforehand, every single week, and I’d come to expect that because it was our routine.

I found myself wondering what happened so I texted him “Hey so, could you not hang out this week, or did you not want to?” I knew the answer before I even asked it. He apologized for not getting in touch and said he’d been busy, and asked if I had time to talk on the phone. I said “Just say it, it’s no big deal.” And he told me “I met a girl that lives around here [we’re about a 45 minute drive away] and we hit it off. I want to become more serious with her so I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I’m sorry.”

I told him he didn’t have to be sorry, it’s good! And I appreciate him wanting to tell me on the phone like an adult. We had fun while it lasted, and good luck with his new lady! He said thanks, he had fun too, etc., we exchanged “take care”s and that was it.

So why is my ego bruised?

I wanted to be the one to break things off. Instead, he got to do it. I guess it’s a power thing. He leaves the situation feeling like “I hope I didn’t hurt her too badly” and I hate that he gets to feel that way. I wanted to feel that way. I don’t like when people get to think they’ve hurt me.

I have this upset feeling, and it’s not about him, it’s about me. I’m glad to have broken it off cleanly and politely; But I’m jealous he found someone he likes and I haven’t yet. And for however casual the relationship was, butterflies or no butterflies, we had still gotten really comfortable with each other. I lost a pal, so there’s still a sense of loss.

What do you guys think? Anyone experienced this weird “I’m not hurt, but I’m feeling hurt” kind of thing?

What are his intentions?

So I’ve been friends with this guy Chuck for 15 years. He’s my ex-husbands ex-band mate(they toured extensively together for a least 10years), he was the witness at my wedding and is my son’s godfather (in name only). We’ve always gotten along and have an underlying admiration and affection for each other. He’s always been there for me, defended me, supported me, and has generally shown that he cares for me. I’ve been divorced from my ex for 5years and over that time, Chuck and I have developed a more independant relationship (from my ex) through sporadic phone calls, as he lives in another city. Over the past 6 months or so he’s been jokingly saying that he and I should get married, but we can’t because I’m so and so’s ex-wife. The last time we spoke of the topic, we basically delineated what living together would be like. Recently I travelled to another city to see him and he was thrilled to see me. We went bar hopping and it was like we were on a date. He held my hand and he kept kissing me on the cheek and giving me hugs. (He has never been affectionate with me in the past.) However, he also kept introducing me to people as so and so’s wife and I kept correcting him, “ex-wife.” He also did something REALLY sweet and generous for me while I was there. My question is: Is he interested in being more than friends? Why would a guy be affectionate with a buddy’s ex if he just saw her as a friend? He kept extending his hand to cross the street and such. I really suck at relationship stuff and any input would be appreciated. Maybe he was just drunk? I told him to come visit and he said he would.

I have been with my boyfriend for about eight months now. We’re both pretty busy with work and school, so since the beginning of the relationship, neither of us has ever felt like we needed to talk to the other person every day. He’s fine with that, and I’m perfectly happy with it, too. I’m pretty independent and like having time to spend with my friends and myself.

The thing is, lately I’ve started to wonder if this is normal for a relationship. When we see each other, everything is great, but there are times when we will go five or six days without having any contact with each other at all, especially during the week. Usually I’ll text him once or twice during the week, and he will reply and everything will seem fine. But this week, I was pretty busy myself and never texted him. And I just realized I haven’t heard from him now since last Sunday. Now, I trust him and all, and this is NOT a red flag that he might be seeing someone else. I just don’t know if it’s normal for two people in a relationship to have so little contact with each other. And I’m starting to feel like I’m the only one who’s concerned about this.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can express my concerns to him? I’ve tried hinting to him that it seems weird we can go for almost a full week without having any contact with each other, but like I said, he seems to think that’s perfectly okay.

Back In January, I met a guy on Match.com. We ended up going out three times. First date was for coffee, and second and third dates were for dinner. All of them went fine imo, and he seemed to be having fun, but I couldn’t read him very well.

He didn’t ask me out again at the end of our first date, but did text me a few days later and we made plans for a second date. Same after our second date. Because of that, I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t ask me out again at the end of our third date. Thing is, I didn’t hear again from him after our third date. I didn’t bother to text or call him back, though. I just figured he wasn’t interested and that was that.

Then a few days ago, he texted me totally out of the blue. At this point it’s been over a month since our last date. I didn’t even recognize his number since I had deleted it, so I texted back “Who is this?” He responded and said that just wanted to say hi and see how I’m doing. I replied, and we’ve been texting back and forth for a few days now. Mostly just chit chat stuff. Then today he asked if I wanted to get together sometime this week.

I told him I would have to check my schedule for this week, but I’m thinking I’ll probably say yes to going out with him again. I’m kind of annoyed that he ghosted me, but then again, he never did mention anything about seeing me again after our third date. I guess I have nothing to lose by giving him another chance.

So here’s my question: Should I ask him what happened? When we were texting, I hinted a couple times that I was curious what happened to him (I texted back “oh I didn’t expect to hear from you after so all this time”), but he hasn’t said anything. I suppose it doesn’t really matter, but I do kind of want to know why. I mean, maybe he started dating someone else he was more interested in, and that didn’t work out? Or maybe he’s just bored? What do you all think?

Or should I even agree to go out with him?

This is going to be hard for me because I rarely voluntarily admit my personality flaws to anyone, even myself.

I had a first date this past Saturday with a guy who seems pretty great, and I’m a harsh critic when it comes to guys so that’s saying a lot. We’ve been texting for a couple weeks and finally got to hang out.

Sober, I’m a flirtatious person. I play it cool and I poke fun and I smile and I make harmless innuendos that you’d really only pick up on if you were looking for them. I am this way with men and women, if I want people to like me, and usually it works fine. It’s just how I am. But drunk, I get VERY friendly.

While I think it’s a good sign that the guy texted me the following day (he could have just blown me off), he mentioned that I was flirting too much with his friend that we met up with. All I could do was apologize, but I felt absolutely horrible about it. I know he wasn’t exaggerating, I’m sure I was flirting with his friend because I know myself. I had been drinking and I got too comfortable with the situation.

I also can get a little braggy. So after apologizing for the flirting I said “I swear I’m not this much work, I’m a nice girl” and he said “We’ll see about that.” Then I said “I really have to stop saying positive things about myself to you lol” because at that point I felt like I’d kind of dug myself into a hole. He said “Oh god yeah I almost forgot about all the back patting that went on, mostly by you, about you.”

The conversation was being had in a flirtatious tone, so he wasn’t being mean or rude, but the whole thing made me feel like UGH I FUCKED UP. The conversation ended a little awkwardly and we haven’t talked at all today.

Can I salvage this or should I crawl into a hole and never contact him again?

I recently went on a date with a man I met online, and halfway through, he confessed he lied about his age in his dating profile, and he’s actually 42, not 35! I already thought there was a big gap in our ages (I’m in my late 20’s), so that means we’re actually more than 10 years apart. Don’t get me wrong, he looks young for his age, and I do think he’s pretty handsome. I would never have guessed he was 42 if not for the fact that some of the stories he told me gave it away.

I had a good time with him, but now I can’t help wondering what else he’s lying about. I guess it’s not the age difference that’s bothering me. It’s that he lied about his age.

Would you continue dating this guy? I’ve been online dating for almost a year now, and I feel like so many people lie or embellish on their dating profiles. Is this something that you can just overlook?

Here is a question about etiquette. I went out on a date with this guy a week or so ago, didn’t sense any connection at all( but it was fun but I can’t see myself going out with him) but we did text back and forth for a bit. And over the last weekend he sent me a text but I didn’t reply back because I got too busy and didn’t think about it. Now, it’s been a week… should I reply to his text and let him know I am not interested or just let it be. The catch is that he works at a place that I like going to on occasionally. And I am not sure what is the right or the polite thing to do.
Thank you.

I am in a new-ish relationship with a submariner (five months this month). Unique from his other naval counterparts, his work aboard subs means that he can only communicate very occasionally (he’s on a mission right now and I haven’t heard from him since March 3rd, and don’t know when I’ll hear from him next). When he gets back in May, we’ll only have about 5 days together before I have to leave for a 2 and a half month long contract out of state. We live 3 hours away from each other, otherwise, heavily rely on skype for our day-to-day communications, and have managed to see each other on most weekends since we started our relationship (excluding his deployment time).

To stave off the loneliness during his deployment, he and I both have journals in which we are writing to each other while we can’t be together. We’ll swap when we see each other next. This helps to a point, but mostly I’m losing my mind. He is the only one I want to talk to at the end of the day, and I can’t reach him. In addition, I am in a high-stress, mostly unpredictable, artistic field that will eventually demand that I be flexible enough to travel on a regular basis. So, if he and I manage to stick together, I will be putting him through a similar situation of not being around- the difference being that I’ll be able to communicate.

At first, I saw his away time as a brilliant opportunity to focus on what I’m up to, deal with the productions I’m committed to, work in the other freelance business that I run, but I miss him so terribly that it is a distraction. I can’t unwind with him at the end of the day, or ask him for his marvelous advice about how I should handle some of the things I’m dealing with. I feel abandoned, even though, intellectually, I understand that I have not been. And I can feel myself starting to separate myself from him, an understandable defense mechanism. I suspect that were our relationship more long-standing, this Might be easier, but I just don’t know. And I can only fill my time with so many things to both distract and take care of myself (which, believe me, I do).

So, my question is multifaceted. Firstly, does anyone have any suggestions as to what else I might do to deal with the intense sadness that I live with on a daily basis because I can’t talk to my partner-in-crime (and does anyone have any insight as to whether or not this gets easier?)? Secondly, I’m a really strong person and am patient to a fault, but, realistically, I can only take so much- at what point do I declare this unworkable? Should I hang in for as long as I can, maybe wait through his next mission to see if we can come up with another creative solution to handle his time away? Really, how do you deal with the absence of your significant other without feeling abandoned?

I am not one to let my life be dictated by my circumstances. I care about him a great deal, and he treats me the way I have always wanted to be treated in a relationship (such a rare gift). With both of our jobs requiring travel, sometimes at the drop of a hat, I’m not sure it can work, but I really really want it to. Help?

So this really is a fairly cliche situation.

(BACKGROUND) For the past month or so I’ve been seeing this guy. We met through common friends, hung out a few times, and immediately had everything in common, but I never really sensed that he liked me as more than a friend. I liked him right off the bat, but he seemed like he wanted to keep it friendly. We just cooked, watched movies, and talked about metal all the time. Then he asked for my number and we started hanging out by ourselves and hanging out gradually turned into somewhat of a dating situation.

(PROBLEM) So I made a really impulsive decision to have sex with him. It was great, he was considerate, and ended it some quite bright fireworks. Problem is that I was a virgin, this all happened in a month and a half, and I haven’t seen him since. He blew off plans we had a few days ago with a bs excuse that I know isn’t true and stops answering texts every time I hint at wanting to see him. Now, I’d understand that he just wanted to hook up if he stopped talking to me, but he still texts and calls like he has an addiction and even asked me to prom. Our common friends say that he doesn’t shut up about me when he’s with them, yet he is avoiding any face-to-face contact with me. What the hell is he doing?

We’ve only been dating for two months, so things haven’t gotten too serious. We met online about 9 months ago. Over Spring Break, he told me that he really liked me and wanted things to work out with me, but he’s in love with one of his friends, and needed to sort out his feelings for her first (he had addressed it with her before, and she told him she didn’t feel the same way). I told him I was willing to do whatever he wanted, whether it be stay together or part ways. just what he needed to do to be happy. Now, I already feel very strongly for him, and all of this hurt me really bad. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? Should we further discuss maybe taking time apart for the time being? I just need a little help sorting out my thoughts, any help would be greatly appreciated.