I’ve been hanging out with a guy for about six months, nothing serious but we saw each other every week. The last time we hung out, I started to feel a little bored. Once you know someone for a while, you either begin to like them more, or less. I was liking him less. Nobody’s feelings were going to get hurt, so I decided to sorta phase him out. Stop hanging out so much and just let it drift apart.
Well this week, he didn’t get in touch to hang out like he always does. One thing I can say about this guy, though he never owed me anything (nor I, him), he was always consistent. He always made plans a day or two beforehand, every single week, and I’d come to expect that because it was our routine.
I found myself wondering what happened so I texted him “Hey so, could you not hang out this week, or did you not want to?” I knew the answer before I even asked it. He apologized for not getting in touch and said he’d been busy, and asked if I had time to talk on the phone. I said “Just say it, it’s no big deal.” And he told me “I met a girl that lives around here [we’re about a 45 minute drive away] and we hit it off. I want to become more serious with her so I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I’m sorry.”
I told him he didn’t have to be sorry, it’s good! And I appreciate him wanting to tell me on the phone like an adult. We had fun while it lasted, and good luck with his new lady! He said thanks, he had fun too, etc., we exchanged “take care”s and that was it.
So why is my ego bruised?
I wanted to be the one to break things off. Instead, he got to do it. I guess it’s a power thing. He leaves the situation feeling like “I hope I didn’t hurt her too badly” and I hate that he gets to feel that way. I wanted to feel that way. I don’t like when people get to think they’ve hurt me.
I have this upset feeling, and it’s not about him, it’s about me. I’m glad to have broken it off cleanly and politely; But I’m jealous he found someone he likes and I haven’t yet. And for however casual the relationship was, butterflies or no butterflies, we had still gotten really comfortable with each other. I lost a pal, so there’s still a sense of loss.
What do you guys think? Anyone experienced this weird “I’m not hurt, but I’m feeling hurt” kind of thing?