He lied about his age

I recently went on a date with a man I met online, and halfway through, he confessed he lied about his age in his dating profile, and he’s actually 42, not 35! I already thought there was a big gap in our ages (I’m in my late 20’s), so that means we’re actually more than 10 years apart. Don’t get me wrong, he looks young for his age, and I do think he’s pretty handsome. I would never have guessed he was 42 if not for the fact that some of the stories he told me gave it away.

I had a good time with him, but now I can’t help wondering what else he’s lying about. I guess it’s not the age difference that’s bothering me. It’s that he lied about his age.

Would you continue dating this guy? I’ve been online dating for almost a year now, and I feel like so many people lie or embellish on their dating profiles. Is this something that you can just overlook?

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14 thoughts on “He lied about his age

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    [I agree that it’s a red flag that he lied. But I also agree that people often lie on their dating profiles. I actually know a couple where this exact thing happened, and they’re still together three years later. So, I guess she was willing to overlook the initial lie and trust him in the end.

    I guess that’s what it comes down to: Is this a permanent breach of trust? Or a forgivable lie?

    Personally, I don’t think you’ll know for sure after only one date. So, I’d say to give him another chance, but make sure you stay wary….

  2. Anna says:

    [I agree with Dennis that lying is a red flag, but on the other hand he did admit his real age. There might be reasons why he lied.

    At times with online dating people get put in a box before they have had the time to show the other person who they are, and are typecast based on the box they are in. People know so much about the other person, and tend to form impressions about them even before they meet. So I would say maybe get to know him before you form your final impression.

    And real quick something, to think about, had you met him at a social event /pub/club and without knowing his age etc. would you still go out with him?
    All the best!

  3. Missy says:

    [i’m curious as to why he felt the need to lie about his age. that would probably help me to determine how big a red flag he’s flying.

    • Dennis Hong says:

      [Fair enough. But is that an excuse? I look like I could be 10 years younger…. 🙂

    • Missy says:

      [did he actually say that, or is that just what you think? it’s an important question to ask and get a real answer to.

  4. Joanna says:

    [Truthfully, I think a lot of people lie about age in online dating to be seen as acceptable by the crowd they desire. Also, a lot of people are irrationally scared of dating someone over 40. It’s really an arbitrary line to filter by because you don’t know people personally. I know when I was like 24, I actually turned a guy down specifically because he was 40 and not 39 or under like I was looking for. I regret that because he is a really great guy and also my friend. I don’t want to pursue him now because I’m in a relationship with someone else. I think he felt really hurt that I told him no solely because of his age.

  5. kerplunkLYN says:

    [So, I can relate to “why” he lied about his age – but not “that” he lied about his age. When I returned to online dating after a serious relationship in my late 20s, I was surprised at the steep drop in emails and messages I was receiving. And, then it hit me. I was in my 30s and guys, even my age, are looking for girls younger than me. I just simply dropped out of the filter for a lot of people. However, there are other ways to work around that without lying. He could’ve emailed you (aware that he was outside of your age range) and asked you on a date. He probably would’ve gotten one, since, as you say, he’s quite handsome and looks much younger. But now, you’re always going to wonder what else he could be lying about. His age? What’s next? His income? His marital status? His children?

    Honestly, 10+ age gap is pretty large, not for physical attraction, but just for where you are in your lives, things you like to do, etc. I’d maybe go another date, but if older guys are not really your thing, I’d just skip it (and probably point out how stupid lying was too).

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