Category: Advice Needed

“How can I make sex good for my girlfriend again?”

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I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years now, and things haven’t been so great in our sex life for at least two. I have a premature ejaculation problem, which sort of just started happening a year into our relationship. Our sex life has gone from a daily thing we both enjoyed, to an awkward thing we hardly ever do anymore.

We have talked a lot about this issue and we have come to the conclusion that the only thing that can help is more sex, but that’s just the problem now — she needs me to make it good for her again for her to even want sex with me. It seems like she is avoiding any opportunities in which I could initiate sex, and it’s not easy to get an opportunity as we live in a small house with flat mates who are always around. Continue reading →

“I want him back so badly”

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I dated this guy for 9 months, and he suddenly broke up with me. I was heartbroken and fell back into a deep state of depression that I hadn’t felt since we started dating. I soon “got over him” but haven’t found anyone else, and cant bring myself to put myself out there to find anyone else.

A few weeks ago, he got drunk and told me that ever since we broke up, whenever he goes out he cant stop thinking about me, but when has sober he thinks more logically. He said he regrets the way that he treated me, like not responding to texts or ditching me on the weekends to play his computer games. He says in a perfect world where no one would judge us, we would be dating again because he knows that I miss him and have merely “gotten over him.”

He said he needs time to think about it, though, because he needs to focus on school and his games, but he misses me. I told him I couldn’t wait forever because it hurts and I am just sitting around waiting for him. My best friend is telling me that I need to do what makes me happy, and he is what makes me happy, but I don’t know if it is worth it to sit around waiting for longer, or if I should confront him and tell him what I think and just stay friends. I need help because this is ripping me apart. I want him back so badly.

“I’m not sure if we are more than friends”

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Okay so I have this guy friend-but-not-sure-if-we-are-more thing going on. We’ve known each other for a while, but I only properly met him about six months ago. Ever since we have been close.

The first month we were just texting occasionally and that’s all. Then we started to hang out which was nice! Then, everything just sorta escalated a little and we were hanging out every weekend (one-on-one) and talking every day. And it wasn’t forced, like neither of us was imitating anything more than the other, it was kinda mutual.

We went to movies, lunch, shopping, the beach, driving around and just events that were happening in our town and we always just had the most amazing time (well I definitely did, and he said he did too). We have never kissed or anything like that (he did kiss me on the cheek though), although he hugs me all the time but I think he might just be a ‘huggy’ person, and we flirt and do end up being really close and have somewhat touched (holding hands for a couple of seconds, or arms around each other, just silly stuff like that). Continue reading →

“I caught my boyfriend texting other women”

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I’ve been with my boyfriend for seven years now and we’ve been through a lot, but we seemed to get on with it anyway. Over the years I’ve caught him texting other women, including his ex, telling her through text that he’s single. We’ve been together about a year at this point.

Recently I (wrongfully) checked his messenger, and he was telling another girl how beautiful she was. I confronted him and he said he was sorry and messed up big time.

Just tonight we were cleaning, and the charger from his old phone was sitting out and I threw it it a bin bag, and when he went to bed, it was sitting on the sofa (which means he had to dig to find it). I asked him about it, and he said he must have took it out without thinking. What? Continue reading →

“He opens up to me, then avoids me for several days afterwards”

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So, I’ve got this guy friend. We’re pretty close. I have a bit of a crush on him I think, and he seems to have a little teensy bit of a soft spot for me, but neither of us ever say anything about that beyond some vague-flirty-teasing. We’re just friends. I’m mostly ok with this. Our lives are very VERY different/incompatible. He’s been a good friend, too, and I don’t necessarily want to risk losing that.

Here’s the issue. Despite being an open and friendly guy he’s not so great with vulnerability and weakness. It’s rare for him to admit he has bad days/feels sadness/pain, etc. You know how it goes. Typical guy stuff.

I can respect that. I’m not a very open person at all so I never push, because I hate it when people push me. I never even ask beyond the occasional “Are you ok?”, and I always just drop it when he says he’s fine.

On a few occasions now, he has randomly decided to tell me what’s going on with him, and talk about some really difficult topics rather than our usual chatter. Continue reading →

“Should I treat this as a date or just a friendly outing?”

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A few months ago, this girl I like invited me to her party. I go, talk with her, talk with her friends, have a pretty nice time, but didn’t really make a move on her there. Afterwards, I send her a simple “thanks for the invite” text and ask her to do something. She gives me no response. Bums me out a great deal, so I go about everything else. A few months later, on my birthday, I post a before and after picture of myself since New Year’s (I dropped 20 pounds). She likes the pic, gives me a happy birthday post, and actually suggests doing what I was asking her to do.

I won’t be able to see her for about another month, but just wondering, should I treat this as a date or just a friendly outing? Advice appreciated.

“I’m married, but can’t stop thinking about an old friend”

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So, I have a friend whom I’ve known for twelve years. We only just got back in contact within the last two years. He helped me start my career — got me reconnected to what I wanted to do. He has listened to me cry, and talk about my fears and concerns.

We have slept together three times. He said to me, “I don’t want to be offensive, but, I see our friendship, and my attraction to you as separate.” I think I am starting to have strong feelings for him, but I think he has said where he stands from that. He has also said “we would destroy each other” when I said I wish we got together when he had feelings for me, and I turned him down (12 years ago).

I am now married — to an amazing man, and I have turned into a 15-year-old. I don’t know how to move on.

“I’m ready to be married, but he keeps making excuses”

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I have been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years and living together for two-and-a-half years. We bought a house together one-and-a-half years ago and decided then to start trying to get pregnant (we have a big age gap and time is of the essence). We now have a four-month-old baby. We have an awesome relationship and love each other very much, however, marriage has been on the table for the last couple years.

He has been telling me he wants to save for a ring. I didn’t push it too much before, but now that the baby’s been here for a while, I would really like to get the ball rolling. It’s just a personal preference for me. I’d like to be married especially now that we have a kid together. I did tell him just before the baby was born that I no longer cared about a ring, but he was adamant about it.

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“I feel so insignificant compared to her”

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I like someone. Okay, yeah, we all like someone, but I like him a lot and don’t really know how to deal with it. And it’s not even like we’re friends, so it’s not a problem or anything.

My problem isn’t him, actually. My problem is kind of me. See, he has a girlfriend who’s really pretty and tall and thin and has long blonde hair and is incredibly skilled at drawing and her eyeliner is always perfect and I feel so insignificant compared to her. I mean, I will be able to get over this guy eventually, but I still feel really terrible about myself right now?

Can someone please give me advice on feeling more confident or at least how not to, like, compare myself so much? Because I found myself obsessively refreshing her Instagram the other day, and I think I need to stop.

Signed sincerely,

A Hella Jealous Insecurity Machine

“I’m starting to have feelings for another guy”

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So, my boyfriend and I just moved into an apartment a few months ago and he is working two jobs, which is nice, because he is supporting us. He is constantly home late, around 11pm, and I’m sleeping, since I have my own job in the am. I know he is not cheating because we share a car and often times I have to pick him up, however he is never home.

In the meantime, I have been hanging out with a friend who is a guy, and there seems to be some feelings there. My friend has admitted he likes me and there has been some cuddling. It really messed with my head and I not sure what to do. I’m not sure I even like my friend, or he is filling the void. I’m still young – I’m 20.

ADVICE?