“I’m ready to be married, but he keeps making excuses”

I have been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years and living together for two-and-a-half years. We bought a house together one-and-a-half years ago and decided then to start trying to get pregnant (we have a big age gap and time is of the essence). We now have a four-month-old baby. We have an awesome relationship and love each other very much, however, marriage has been on the table for the last couple years.

He has been telling me he wants to save for a ring. I didn’t push it too much before, but now that the baby’s been here for a while, I would really like to get the ball rolling. It’s just a personal preference for me. I’d like to be married especially now that we have a kid together. I did tell him just before the baby was born that I no longer cared about a ring, but he was adamant about it.

Fast forward – bf told me several weeks ago he is able to afford a ring now. He has had many opportunities to propose but nothing has happened. I had been trying to keep myself in check, but I get more upset every single day and am starting to resent him. I can’t even hide it any more. I’ve explained why I’m upset, but he keeps telling me the same old things… “When have I had time? I haven’t talked to your dad yet. I wanted to pay my credit cards off first. I want it to be a surprise when you’re not expecting it”. All I hear are excuses.

We have both been married before and both marriages ended very badly. I feel like BOTH of us should be excited to start fresh together and give marriage another try. But I’m feeling pretty alone in this. Has any one else been through something similar? I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this and it’s eating me up inside.

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One thought on ““I’m ready to be married, but he keeps making excuses”

  1. Michelle says:

    I seriously mean no disrespect, but I don’t think you made a wise decision to move in together and have a baby.. Your boyfriend has all the benefits of marriage without having to commit, so why would he? It’s like the old saying “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free.”

    I think you would do better to consider how much longer you are willing to put up with his delaying before you move on and find someone who is ready and willing to commit.

    Best wishes to you.

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