Okay so I have this guy friend-but-not-sure-if-we-are-more thing going on. We’ve known each other for a while, but I only properly met him about six months ago. Ever since we have been close.
The first month we were just texting occasionally and that’s all. Then we started to hang out which was nice! Then, everything just sorta escalated a little and we were hanging out every weekend (one-on-one) and talking every day. And it wasn’t forced, like neither of us was imitating anything more than the other, it was kinda mutual.
We went to movies, lunch, shopping, the beach, driving around and just events that were happening in our town and we always just had the most amazing time (well I definitely did, and he said he did too). We have never kissed or anything like that (he did kiss me on the cheek though), although he hugs me all the time but I think he might just be a ‘huggy’ person, and we flirt and do end up being really close and have somewhat touched (holding hands for a couple of seconds, or arms around each other, just silly stuff like that).
We have grown really close and we talk about a lot of stuff, he talks to me about his family a fair bit too, and we both happily talk about our life problems to each other. He compliments me a lot and sometimes it’s just random, like he’ll just say how great I am, or that I make him happy, or that I’m the coolest person, or that I’m adorable/cute etc.
Typing this out I feel like it should be really obvious where we stand but here’s the deal, we have been spending all this time together basically since we started talking six months back, yet neither of us have ever said when we go out that’s it’s an actual date, and neither have spoke about how we feel. I mean we are definitely good friends, but I have a feeling he likes me more, and I definitely like him more than a friend, and I’ve been contemplating telling him for a few weeks now because of how long this has been going for. But I just keep thinking if he did want something more, he would have said something by now right??!
And to not know if our ‘dates’ have really been ‘dates’ make me a little afraid to tell this guy that I’m really interested in being more than his friend. Sooo this is really long and messy but I guess I’m just looking for some answer or help to where to go next? Should I tell him? Or Should I just go with the flow like I have been? Thanks
3 thoughts on ““I’m not sure if we are more than friends””
Just ask him.
Perhaps in his mind you two are already sort of dating and he didn’t feel it needed to be said?
But I agree with the previous commenter. If you really really want to know you’ve got to do the difficult thing and ask. Just be sure you’re prepared for the consequences if that conversation doesn’t go the way you want. Conversations like that can really complicate friendships— it won’t end a good friendship like it sounds like you have— but it will make things really awkward for a while.
Or when the time is right you can just try to say like,
“You know I starting to like you..”
“What do you think if we date?”
or like my friends way of asking
“It’s really fun with you, how about if we start dating?” while doing something fun together or anything.
Maybe you can put a little laugh if you’re TOO afraid.
Something like that. Though all these lines I said is just examples and not guaranteed to succeed, but it definitely have less risk. But there’s also the risk that he think that you’re just joking. So it’s up to you, but if you want a little bit safer way this might be the best.
And if it gets worse, just tell everything. Being transparent makes your relationship and emotional better (It says from several websites)