I’ve been with my girlfriend for three years now, and things haven’t been so great in our sex life for at least two. I have a premature ejaculation problem, which sort of just started happening a year into our relationship. Our sex life has gone from a daily thing we both enjoyed, to an awkward thing we hardly ever do anymore.
We have talked a lot about this issue and we have come to the conclusion that the only thing that can help is more sex, but that’s just the problem now — she needs me to make it good for her again for her to even want sex with me. It seems like she is avoiding any opportunities in which I could initiate sex, and it’s not easy to get an opportunity as we live in a small house with flat mates who are always around.
I recently bought her a vibrator thinking I could use it with her so that she is satisfied after sex with me, but she is using it on her own now, and I haven’t had a real opportunity to try it with her.
Basically, I need some advice on how I can make her want sex with me again, even though it’s a disappointment for her most of the time. I need to get crafty, but I am stuck for ideas! Any help would be appreciated!
One thought on ““How can I make sex good for my girlfriend again?””
You are on the right track, but going at it on the wrong angle. It’s not a physical thing now, but a mental. Start by reminding her how sexy she is and DON’T try to have sex. Just little things for a few week. If sex happens then, great! If not then no worries!
Women’s fires start mentally, not physically.
My husband and I have gone through this before. Whisper deep sexy things in her ear when people are just out of hearing and walk away. Wait until her hands are busy and get a hug from behind with a happy growl. Send sexy texts. Surprise flowers or post it notes that give compliments.
If you still want the toy that’s completely ok. Ask if it’s ok to play with once you get started and don’t make orgasims the end all be all of your love making anymore. Sex should just be about making your partner feel loved and not pressured.