So, I’ve got this guy friend. We’re pretty close. I have a bit of a crush on him I think, and he seems to have a little teensy bit of a soft spot for me, but neither of us ever say anything about that beyond some vague-flirty-teasing. We’re just friends. I’m mostly ok with this. Our lives are very VERY different/incompatible. He’s been a good friend, too, and I don’t necessarily want to risk losing that.
Here’s the issue. Despite being an open and friendly guy he’s not so great with vulnerability and weakness. It’s rare for him to admit he has bad days/feels sadness/pain, etc. You know how it goes. Typical guy stuff.
I can respect that. I’m not a very open person at all so I never push, because I hate it when people push me. I never even ask beyond the occasional “Are you ok?”, and I always just drop it when he says he’s fine.
On a few occasions now, he has randomly decided to tell me what’s going on with him, and talk about some really difficult topics rather than our usual chatter.
And then he spends the next few days to a week avoiding me, keeping our conversations very short, light and distant, if I approach him. That seems to be the pattern. We’ll have a few days where we happen to have several conversations in a row that end up on really personal topics, and then it’s like a switch is flipped and he can hardly be around me.
I just want to know if it’s something I’m doing, or not doing that’s causing that. I don’t want him to feel like he can’t talk to me, but, I don’t want him to feel like I’m expecting him to talk to me about that stuff. And I don’t understand the cold shoulder he keeps giving me.