Tag: opposite-sex friend

“I’m married, but can’t stop thinking about an old friend”

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So, I have a friend whom I’ve known for twelve years. We only just got back in contact within the last two years. He helped me start my career — got me reconnected to what I wanted to do. He has listened to me cry, and talk about my fears and concerns.

We have slept together three times. He said to me, “I don’t want to be offensive, but, I see our friendship, and my attraction to you as separate.” I think I am starting to have strong feelings for him, but I think he has said where he stands from that. He has also said “we would destroy each other” when I said I wish we got together when he had feelings for me, and I turned him down (12 years ago).

I am now married — to an amazing man, and I have turned into a 15-year-old. I don’t know how to move on.

“I’m starting to have feelings for another guy”

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So, my boyfriend and I just moved into an apartment a few months ago and he is working two jobs, which is nice, because he is supporting us. He is constantly home late, around 11pm, and I’m sleeping, since I have my own job in the am. I know he is not cheating because we share a car and often times I have to pick him up, however he is never home.

In the meantime, I have been hanging out with a friend who is a guy, and there seems to be some feelings there. My friend has admitted he likes me and there has been some cuddling. It really messed with my head and I not sure what to do. I’m not sure I even like my friend, or he is filling the void. I’m still young – I’m 20.

ADVICE?

“I don’t trust my girlfriend’s guy friend”

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I have a girlfriend who has lied to me about an old friend. In the beginning of our relationship she told me about him and said that they stopped being friends because he proclaimed his love for her and she didn’t feel the same way. For awhile this was true — she never talked to him or anything and he was never a concern. A few months ago she started talking to him again, and he said that he just wanted to be friends and I was fine with this because I trusted her. It made me a little uncomfortable but nothing too extreme and I told her how I felt and we were fine, no problems.

One day she and her friend came over and she wasn’t feeling well so she was laying down while her friend and I were outside smoking a cigarette. Continue reading →

“I think I’m ready to leave my husband”

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I met two great guys at the same time. It was a blind date with one. He brought me over to his place and I met his roommate/best friend the same day. I was instantly attracted to his best friend and I could sense that the feeling was mutual. At the time his best friend was in a relationship (at least that’s what I was told at the time), so I backed off. I eventually married my date and have been mostly happy for over 13 years. Throughout those years I’ve grown closer to his best friend.

One night we were talking and I learned that when we first met, he was NOT in a relationship. He did end up in a long-term relationship with a friend not long after our first meeting, but my husband obviously lied to keep me around and away from him. We both have admitted that we love each other, but we have never and WILL never do anything behind my husband’s back. We are both the type that would never betray a friend, no matter what so each time we’re around each other it feels a bit tense.

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“I’m married, but have a crush on a friend”

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Hi there!

I feel a little silly asking about this, and there is even a part of me that wonders if phrasing it makes it more real than I’d like it to be.

I’m very happily married, and have been for four years. We get along really well, I find my partner really beautiful and attractive, and I think they are basically the most precious person in my life, and possibly the most precious aspect of my life.

I have a friend who I’ve had a crush on for years. The crush started when the friend and I first met, when my partner and I were just dating, about eight years ago. I was in a relationship, but I really got on with this other person, and we share friends in common, so we just became friends, and it was lovely, although the crush really did persist while I quietly ignored it. About two years before I got married, there was a rocky time in my relationship when it seemed like we might split up and I was spending more time (particularly one-on-one) with this individual and probably being more explicitly flirtatious than I normally would be. My friend was kind of noncommittally dating someone else, and around the time that it became clear that I was trying to make it work with my partner, my friend started dating the person they were seeing more intensely and they now have been together for years.

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“He’s my best friend, but I might like him more than that?”

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So, I am feeling some conflicting feelings toward somebody in my life right now, and I would like to get input from anyone who can relate or speculate. I just met this guy about four months ago at school. We are classmates in an intensive two-year program. We see each other every day and have become really good friends. I don’t think I’ve ever become such good friends with someone so quickly, especially not a guy (btw, I’m a girl lol).

I’ve been in three serious relationships in my life, but I’ve never actually had a close platonic guy friend. But now, with this person, I recently realized I might actually like him as more than a friend.

But I’m not sure!

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“I’m okay just being her friend, but she’s ignoring me now”

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Recently (about two months ago), I started talking to this girl (I am a guy). We had more than a few nice conversations, and everything was going smoothly. She has a boyfriend, which I have no issue with. He’s a nice enough person, and I don’t dislike him at all.

I have developed some feelings for her, but I understand that nothing is going to happen (she’s already in a relationship). As such, I am totally okay with just being her friend.

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“I lost my chance with the guy who chased me for a year”

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There’s this guy who’s been chasing me for a year or so. He’s asked me out a few times, and I said no every time for a few reasons. One was my parents, and another was that at the time, I liked him, but was uncertain, or didn’t love him as he deeply loved me.

We continued to stay really close friends, and it was great. Then one night, he asked me how would I feel if he dated someone, but still treated me the same? When receiving this message, I just felt betrayal and hurt. We talked on the phone that night, and we were both stressed and crying over what to do.

He started saying stuff like, he felt they wouldn’t last, and that we could date in the future in college. So he was trying to decide between me or her. Initially, he wasn’t taking the new girl seriously and still loved me deeply.

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“Can I forgive him, or should I leave?”

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I’ve been with my boyfriend 15 months, living together for 6. I’m 27.

Up until a week ago, my life revolved around this man. I never believed in soulmates or anything, but he was my best friend. He made me feel like it could be true. I trusted him with my life.

About a week ago, I was talking to a friend about a girl my boyfriend used to live with. My boyfriend had told me this girl was obsessed with him, that she had kissed him on the cheek once, but that was it. Nothing else had ever happened.

I had a niggling feeling, and I remember asking him a few times about this girl. Each time he got cross and told me I had to trust him.

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“New and in Need of Advice”

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I just moved to a new city. I wasn’t going to get into a relationship right away as I’m focused on my career. However, I fell for someone and we have been dating for the last couple of months.

He’s great and I love him dearly. And we get along so well. I’m not the type who gets jealous easily, but something recently has been bothering me and I plan to speak up.

Since the day we met, I have noticed the other girl in his life (one of his closest friends). She’s someone he went to to speak to when he wasn’t sure about me. And she’s someone he shares a life with. I have suspicions that something has happened between them or was about to but there is chemistry for sure. Recently we were on a trip and he was messaging her to join us. Giggling to his phone and talking about how she’s such a crazy (fun) girl and how he has seen more than I care to share. This has set my mind on a self destructive path and I have been distant since then. I will speak to him about how it made me feel. But I also am looking for some advice. Thanks