“I’m in love with my best friend, but he gives me mixed signals”

I have known this guy M since 2010, and we have been friends since. However, we did move away for a few years and both recently moved back to the same city, so our contact has been off and on for a long time.

Earlier this year in April, we started meeting up with one another, and I have always thought he was a good-looking man, but after seeing him this time, I was very attracted to him in a way I had not been before when we first met back in 2010. Anyways, since April we have started seeing each other regularly — hanging out and going out once or twice a week — and have gotten very close. We completely trust each other, we discovered we have a lot in common and expect the same thing out of relationships.

One day we were hanging out watching a movie, and he started holding my hand, so I was really excited, because I was thinking “holy crap he must have feelings for me.” Since then, we have been cuddling, and he’s started showing me a lot of affection. Sometimes I stay overnight and we cuddle and sleep. We however have never been sexual. He has kissed me on the face and playfully bit me on the neck once. When we cuddle, he touches my hips, so to me, that is more than just friendly, right? Continue reading

“I miss my best friend”

I have a question, well, it is almost more like a long-winded life story that requires a solution to solidify a happy ending.

Here goes. In Grade 8, I changed schools, and I met my best friend, I’ll call him Marty. Anyway, at first, Marty and I were indifferent towards each other, until one day, we started speaking, and then we discovered that we were cut from the same cloth, if you will. From then on, we were inseparable. In the beginning of our Grade 9 year, Marty and I started dating, but the relationship, although absolutely wonderful, was short-lived, lasting just longer than a month. Marty ended our relationship very abruptly, and, as I found out later, this was because he has issues with trust, and, apparently, did not believe that I was really the person that I made myself out to be. Regardless, the split broke my 15-year-old heart, as far as a 15 year-old’s heart can be broken.

I was devastated and sought comfort in a group of girls, who introduced my young self to weed, alcohol, and other mind-numbing substances. I spent the remainder of my Grade 9 year, completely wrapped in a bubble of somber depression and a substance induced haze. I told myself that when Grade 10 came, I would straighten my life out and focus on my studies. And then Grade 10 rolled on in, and, on the first day of the school year, I found out that Marty was in every single one of my classes, except for one. So, I made up my mind to mend bridges, and I did this quite effectively, and in a short while we were inseparable again. Continue reading

“How do I end a friendship?”

I have a friend I don’t want to be friends with any longer. We were good friends in high school, but never particularly close. Since then, we’ve gradually lost contact and went our separate ways. However, he keeps contacting me from time to time, and I honestly cannot hold a conversation with him. Our lives and our interests are simply too different now. Plus he’s like, a super opinionated elitist, so any conversation I try to have with him always ends up with him trying to show off, while I defend my interests from his uninvited critique. I seriously hate talking about tv or games with him. His tastes are awful too.

I don’t want to make up with him or overcome this. I just don’t really want to exchange niceties with him every so often anymore. Occasionally he sends some pretty weird things for a platonic friend as well, like little hearts and stuff. I’ve never been attracted to this pasty fool, and it makes my boyfriend really uncomfortable as well. Continue reading

“One minute he’s flirtatious, the next minute he’s distant”

I am VERY confused. About a month ago, I started college and on my first day I met this boy in one of my courses. Immediately I was attracted to him and after a couple weeks passed and conversations started to flow, I started to gradually develop feelings for him. However, I was scared to ever admit this to him for many reasons. Despite the fact we had only known each other for a short amount of time, he was also always mentioning that since he has started college he has had to “friend-zone” a bunch of girls, as the attention from them was becoming annoying and he was only looking for a friendship. I didn’t want to be added to this list.

After texting him for a while, we decided to meet up for the first time outside of college. He came round mine and we hung out for a few hours. Everything was going fine and we were both more comfortable around each other compared to how we were at college.

However, things soon got very confusing, as at the end of the night we kissed. Usually I don’t kiss someone who I am only friends with, but something felt right and honestly I couldn’t have been happier. Continue reading

“I don’t find him physically attractive, but him holding me felt right”

I’m in a predicament. This one kid from my Spanish class and who lives in my dorm is clearly into me. He says hi to me when I walk by him, and when I’m with him he always makes it important to touch me, like put his arm around me, hug me, or hold me.

Saturday night at a party, he wrapped his arm around me, and I gave him a high five and we continued to hold hands. I know that this might seem silly, not important stuff, but it’s so noticeable to me. He’s so sweet and nice and funny but I don’t know if I view him in that way. Or maybe I do. I just don’t know. I’m so conflicted.

I don’t find him physically attractive (that’s mean), but him holding me felt right. On top of this, I find his best friend to be so hot and attractive, but I don’t know if I like the kind of person he is. If they mixed together and became one, he would be the perfect guy. I’m so confused. What should I do?

“I blew my chance with her three years ago, and I still can’t get over her”

Hi, this is my first time writing something like this and I apologise about the length but I just needed to write it down and get it off my chest etc. Essentially I need help getting over a girl.

We met at university 6 years ago, I developed a massive crush immediately but I had no intention of doing anything about it since she was way out of my league and had a boyfriend at the time. To build a picture of myself back then I was obese and since I had been to an all-boys school I had very little experience with asking girls out, previously I’d only had one brief relationship and she’d made all the first moves etc. So anyway, due to some mutual friends me and this girl got talking and found out we have similar interests/personalities. Over the next 2 years we got to the point where I considered her to be one of my closest friends and I’m sure she felt similarly since we were socialising a couple of times a week one way or another and texting daily (she was still dating the boyfriend throughout this). Additionally over the two years I had started going to the gym/losing weight and getting in shape which had given me a bit more self-confidence with girls and I’d been on a couple of dates that hadn’t really led to anything long-term. Continue reading

“I’m thinking of cheating on my boyfriend”

I’d like some advice on how not to cheat on my boyfriend. So, to start off, I do love my boyfriend very much, and we haven’t had sex yet, we’ve just done minor things. But, there’s this other guy, I’ll call him X.

X has been in my life for the past year-and-a-half of so, and I go to him for advice all the time. I have even told him some of my personal problems. I’ve always known that he just wants to have sex with me, and that he wants nothing serious. I’ve told him repeatedly that I have a boyfriend, and that I’m not the type to cheat, but, he keeps trying to convince me by saying no one will find out, etc.

And I wish I weren’t, but for a few minutes, I was tempted, and I even gave the idea some thought. Continue reading

“I’m in love with my friend’s girlfriend”

I have a really good friend that I met in my medical school days. We texted all the time, would go for dinner every alternate day, go to the movies, talk for hours on phone, study nights together for our final exams, basically all types of friend stuff.

For the last two to three months, I have been developing feelings for her and it literally sucks. I can’t take this friendship to the next level because she has a boyfriend who is also a very good friend of mine.

I decided be distant from her to suppress my feelings. I stopped talking to her and have avoided her on many occasions, but, she is not letting me to do so. She call me every single day for combined studies at her place, and cooks for me. She asks me questions like,  “Why are you are behaving this way?” Continue reading

“I’m not sure if we are more than friends”

Okay so I have this guy friend-but-not-sure-if-we-are-more thing going on. We’ve known each other for a while, but I only properly met him about six months ago. Ever since we have been close.

The first month we were just texting occasionally and that’s all. Then we started to hang out which was nice! Then, everything just sorta escalated a little and we were hanging out every weekend (one-on-one) and talking every day. And it wasn’t forced, like neither of us was imitating anything more than the other, it was kinda mutual.

We went to movies, lunch, shopping, the beach, driving around and just events that were happening in our town and we always just had the most amazing time (well I definitely did, and he said he did too). We have never kissed or anything like that (he did kiss me on the cheek though), although he hugs me all the time but I think he might just be a ‘huggy’ person, and we flirt and do end up being really close and have somewhat touched (holding hands for a couple of seconds, or arms around each other, just silly stuff like that). Continue reading

“He opens up to me, then avoids me for several days afterwards”

So, I’ve got this guy friend. We’re pretty close. I have a bit of a crush on him I think, and he seems to have a little teensy bit of a soft spot for me, but neither of us ever say anything about that beyond some vague-flirty-teasing. We’re just friends. I’m mostly ok with this. Our lives are very VERY different/incompatible. He’s been a good friend, too, and I don’t necessarily want to risk losing that.

Here’s the issue. Despite being an open and friendly guy he’s not so great with vulnerability and weakness. It’s rare for him to admit he has bad days/feels sadness/pain, etc. You know how it goes. Typical guy stuff.

I can respect that. I’m not a very open person at all so I never push, because I hate it when people push me. I never even ask beyond the occasional “Are you ok?”, and I always just drop it when he says he’s fine.

On a few occasions now, he has randomly decided to tell me what’s going on with him, and talk about some really difficult topics rather than our usual chatter. Continue reading