So, I am feeling some conflicting feelings toward somebody in my life right now, and I would like to get input from anyone who can relate or speculate. I just met this guy about four months ago at school. We are classmates in an intensive two-year program. We see each other every day and have become really good friends. I don’t think I’ve ever become such good friends with someone so quickly, especially not a guy (btw, I’m a girl lol).
I’ve been in three serious relationships in my life, but I’ve never actually had a close platonic guy friend. But now, with this person, I recently realized I might actually like him as more than a friend.
But I’m not sure!
I’m really confused .. you see, I love our friendship and would never want to ruin what we have. We care about each other a lot, he makes me laugh like nobody else can, and we just have really good times and chats. Another big part of this dilemma, is that I feel like I’m emotionally attracted to him, but not sure if I’m physically attracted to him. 😦 I mean, sometimes I actually get turned on just by his intelligence or his sense of humour … and I sometimes fantasize about kissing him … but I seriously can’t picture us getting more intimate than that.
I couldn’t imagine doing anything sexual with him. I mean, I think he is good looking, but he is overweight. I’m not one to judge a person by their appearance, but I just don’t know if I’d be into having sex with him. This sounds so horribly superficial, but I am pretty sure if he was to lose weight, I would be attracted to him. I’ve seen him in older pictures where he used to be thin, and I wish he looked like that now. BUT all that aside, this guy is literally my best friend and I don’t want to lose that friendship. 😦
So it might sound like the answer here is obvious — that I just really enjoy our friendship, and we should just be friends — but I can’t deny having feelings for him. I find myself getting jealous when he goes out with (or even gives attention to) other girls, and if I go more than a day or two of not seeing him or talking to him, I miss him like crazy. What the fuck is going on here?! I’ve never experienced such mixed emotions.
Thanks in advance to anyone who may offer some insight!