“He’s my best friend, but I might like him more than that?”

So, I am feeling some conflicting feelings toward somebody in my life right now, and I would like to get input from anyone who can relate or speculate. I just met this guy about four months ago at school. We are classmates in an intensive two-year program. We see each other every day and have become really good friends. I don’t think I’ve ever become such good friends with someone so quickly, especially not a guy (btw, I’m a girl lol).

I’ve been in three serious relationships in my life, but I’ve never actually had a close platonic guy friend. But now, with this person, I recently realized I might actually like him as more than a friend.

But I’m not sure!

I’m really confused .. you see, I love our friendship and would never want to ruin what we have. We care about each other a lot, he makes me laugh like nobody else can, and we just have really good times and chats. Another big part of this dilemma, is that I feel like I’m emotionally attracted to him, but not sure if I’m physically attracted to him. 😦 I mean, sometimes I actually get turned on just by his intelligence or his sense of humour … and I sometimes fantasize about kissing him … but I seriously can’t picture us getting more intimate than that.

I couldn’t imagine doing anything sexual with him. I mean, I think he is good looking, but he is overweight. I’m not one to judge a person by their appearance, but I just don’t know if I’d be into having sex with him. This sounds so horribly superficial, but I am pretty sure if he was to lose weight, I would be attracted to him. I’ve seen him in older pictures where he used to be thin, and I wish he looked like that now. BUT all that aside, this guy is literally my best friend and I don’t want to lose that friendship. 😦

So it might sound like the answer here is obvious — that I just really enjoy our friendship, and we should just be friends — but I can’t deny having feelings for him. I find myself getting jealous when he goes out with (or even gives attention to) other girls, and if I go more than a day or two of not seeing him or talking to him, I miss him like crazy. What the fuck is going on here?! I’ve never experienced such mixed emotions.

Thanks in advance to anyone who may offer some insight!

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3 thoughts on ““He’s my best friend, but I might like him more than that?”

  1. Elm says:

    Oh MAN, I understand how you feel! I’d say, sort out your feelings first. Investigate them, and always remember that whatever you feel isn’t wrong. Here for you if you ever need a rant 🙂

  2. Venessa says:

    ahaha looks like we’re in the same exact situation. All the guys that i’ve ever liked started off as my best friends. I know how hard it is to tell your best friend you like him, especially since you don’t want to lose that friendship and trust me it happens sometimes. I recently just told one of my best friends that I like him. We were so close, and people thought we were dating, but we were but i really liked him. I finally got the courage one day to tell him but i got completely rejected. He did say that we could still be friends, but I haven’t talked to him since then. Another thing is that if you’re confused about your feelings, sort them out, but from what i’ve read, i think you like him as more than a friend. If i were you i would find the right time to tell him. You don’t necessarily have to tell him in person. You should tell him in a way that you are most comfortable to. Other things to keep in mind would be that if you end up telling him you like him, and he rejects you, ask if you can still be friends. from experience, this can go in two ways. either he’ll say yes, but you never talk to each other again or 2. He’ll say yes, and you guys will remain friends. It really depends on the person. Other than that I wish you the best of luck. 🙂

  3. Sarah says:

    I actually have a guy best friend myself that I like, maybe love. He’s a very amazing friend and has helped me through so much. I honestly don’t know if I should tell him that I like him though. He’s in bootcamp right now for the marines. So I think it’s a little late to tell him, but I really want him to know. It’ll kill me if he ends up dying without him knowing how much I care for him. You need to live in the moment though. You could try asking him if he wants to be your workout buddy so that he would get into shape, and you would work as hard as him and be there for him the whole way through.

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