So I’ve been dating this really amazing, friendly, and funny girl for the past six and a half months, but she’s recently been offered a job that’s quite a long commute from where she’s currently living. Obviously, this means that when she moves, she’ll be moving closer to her new workplace, and further from me.
I genuinely love this girl, and want what’s best for her, but at the same time, I’d rather not have things end because of this. We get on really well together, we seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to certain things, her values align with mine, we’re both vegetarians, and we have similar interests. As well as this, I have Asperger’s Syndrome, so I tend to be pretty awkward due to my issues with social interaction. While some people might be scared away by my awkwardness, she loves it.
I’m more than willing to try a long distance relationship. The place she’s aiming to move to isn’t super far away from where I live, so it’s definitely doable even if I won’t be able to see her as often as we do currently, but is it possible for things to work out between us?
One thought on ““I love her but she’s moving””
So, don’t end it. I know that sounds overly simplified and trite, but really, just meet in the middle. You’ll always need to meet in the middle in a relationship. Anyone that tells you a relationship isn’t work is boldfaced lying to you. Look for a job around her job and if you are still together in a year, see if you can move close by. Before you move in together make sure you discuss These things:
Articulate at least one reason besides convenience and finances to move in together.
Save enough money for three months’ rent (security in event of a breakup).
Reach an agreement on how rent/mortgage and household expenses will be split.
Discuss your financial situations in detail.
Be in agreement about potential future steps in your relationship, like marriage and kids, and when you’d like for those to happen.
Discuss how household chores will be divvied up.
Clean out your closets and get rid of all the crap you no longer want or need.
Celebrate a one-year anniversary together.
Go on a trip together.
Poop in each other’s homes.
Spend a whole week together.
Introduce your pets.
Decide whose furniture you’re keeping.
Pick out some new sheets and bedding that complements both your tastes.
Have an exit strategy (Who keeps the apartment in the event of a breakup? Will the person moving out find a new roommate for the person staying? What about the deposit on the apartment? Etc., etc.).
Best wishes and God speed my internet friend in love.