I really like a guy I met a couple years ago. I’ll call him S. He was 26, and I was 19. We started talking in March of 2015, after both of us were coming out of relationships.
We started hanging out almost daily. Before we’d even done anything, I was already very into him, as this was the first guy I’d been with in person since coming out of the closet in 2013. I was new to being in a “real-life” relationship, especially with a guy.
One night, we’d been drinking and I’d told him about some pretty dark stuff that happened to me, and he’d told me some things about himself. He kissed me when I started to tear up, and essentially that night, he took my virginity. We didn’t finish, though. I wanted to stop because I was feeling kinda gross, and I didn’t want to be drunk for this. So we did.
The next night, I went to his house again, and I was sober. This time, I was definitely the initiator. But he kept pushing me away. Eventually, he said he felt uncomfortable, and he went to sleep. I stayed up, because I felt kind of gross, even though I enjoyed being next to him.
The morning after that mess of a night, I confessed to him that I did like him. That’s when he let me down and said that he didn’t feel the same. Continue reading