“This is my partner’s first gay relationship, and I can’t handle his inability to communicate”

I’m a 30-year-old male. I began dating a 19-year-old guy 6 months ago. This is his first gay experience/relationship. From the beginning he’s struggled with everything pertaining to a relationship (gay or heterosexual) but refuses to let me go.

During the first 2 months we engaged in oral sex a few times. He’d clam up and eventually even that stopped. Besides the lack of sex, there’s a serious lack of romance, consideration and communication on his part. I’ve broken things off twice so far. During those times he contacted me non-stop, pouring out his emotions and begging for reconciliation. Each time he promises to add effort, romance, sex and communication. These are things he says he wants us to have because we are “perfect” for each other.

While I know he’s young and may not be able to communicate exactly what he’s feeling, I find it hard to decipher the meaning myself. My biggest fear is that I’ll stick around too long in an unfulfilled relationship that never had true potential. I love him but I require more and have no clue how to go about getting what I expect from this relationship.

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One thought on ““This is my partner’s first gay relationship, and I can’t handle his inability to communicate”

  1. therapyinsdcom says:

    Hi there- sounds like you are really struggling with if this is the relationship for you. I’m going to recommend the book “Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay” by Mira Kirshenbaum. In a no nonsense manner the author outlines some things to think about when you are on the fence about a long term partner. Hope it helps!

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