“My (gay) boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom for our first time”

I am in a homosexual relationship, and have been with my partner for about two years now. He has always been trustworthy, and from what I know, has never cheated. We have had oral sex, but we have yet to do anal, as we are young and curious, but not very brave.

Anyways, we now want to try it, but he does not want to use a condom, because he believes it is more natural. We both know that we don’t have STD’s. He says I should take his word and that it’s just gay sex, so there’s no risk of pregnancy.

My feeling is that I have always been told, no matter what, gay or straight, wear a condom. And on several threads I have looked through, real, experienced people (that aren’t persuasive health teachers) agree and admit it is not worth the risk.

My boyfriend can sometimes struggle with emotional problems, and I do not want to irritate him, as we have already fought about this topic. But at the same time, I do not want to suck up to him and be worried the entire time. It should be worry-free and pleasurable, and I feel like my concerns should be respected.

Either way, that’s a different problem. Please do not mention whether or not it is a “healthy relationship,” because I do understand. Right now, all I want to know is, am I being too scared about it? Or do I really have a point in not wanting to risk HIV or any other STD, no matter how much we trust each other right now?

Thanks so much.

6 thoughts on ““My (gay) boyfriend doesn’t want to use a condom for our first time”

  1. Brian Dean Powers says:

    Safer sex is essential. Besides being the best choice for your health, it’s also a sign of respect between you and your boyfriend. Just because we don’t hear about HIV/AIDS as much in the news today, it’s still a very real threat to our community. Use the condom.

  2. Dennis Hong says:

    To me, this is not so much a question of safety as it is a question of respect. Does your boyfriend respect that you would like to use a condom? What you want is far from unreasonable, and regardless of how he feels about it, like you said, he needs to respect your wishes.

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