I really need help with this weird situation I am facing because I can’t handle it alone anymore. I am in the middle of trusting issues with my boyfriend because of his crazy ex.
So, I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now. He broke up with his ex, because (as he said) he didn’t love her anymore, and he fell immediately for me. At the beginning things were fine, and I was sure he loved me from all the things he would do for me. Only someone in love acts like that.
But then like 5 months after we started dating, his ex became part of our lives. She started posting descriptions on Instagram about me all the time. Like, he is still mine, he has been lying to you, he loves me, open your eyes, etc. I saw all that by coincidence.
I started to go crazy and fight with my boyfriend all the time. He denied totally to have been still in touch with her. After months of fighting and of her posting about me, she simply posted something like, “Take him. Its a gift from me.” And stopped posting anymore. She went to live abroad.
But I messed things up, and she became again part of our lives recently, because my boyfriend found out that I had a fake male account to talk to her to see what she said about my boyfriend. I know I sound crazy, but I was so lost in anxiety and fear, and I didn’t know what to do. For this thing, we broke up and came back together, but I am still very suspicious, because his ex has started again posting Instagram descriptions about me.
I have become obsessive when I see my boyfriend online in Whatsapp, because I feel like he is talking to her, or whenever I see his mum Whatsapp online too (because when his ex told him about the fake account, he called her via Whatsapp from his mother’s phone).
He says I am destroying this relationship and that without trust, there is no love and no us. What should I do? Believe him or not?
LemonVibe 
Leave. There’s too much going on already. If you have to make up a fake account… the trust is already gone. And he’s right. Without trust there can’t be love. But at the same time he’s acting extremely shady which is understandable for your actions because you love him.
Don’t make yourself sick because of him though. Just leave. This is toxic for you now. I mean ask yourself, truly,
Is it even still worth it?
Totally agree with Lets. He’s gas lighting you instead of taking care of this issue. If she’s stalking him/you, turn her into the police and do a report each and every time/post she does. However, he didn’t and neither did you. You make a catfish account to stalk her instead. That crossed the line to crazy town. You don’t need this. He doesn’t need this. It’s time to find a man without Jerry Springer baggage who doesn’t need to break up with someone to be with you, (because if he did that means he was cheating on her.)
Block all social accounts of them both and don’t be friends. You’ve already proven you need to get out of the drama pool. Take some time to heal and reflect on what you really need out of a relationship.
Hello and thank you for replying to my post. Well in fact noone here in my state takes these reports seriously, although it is stalking. The police would laugh at me if reported instagram stalking.
And secondly I forgot to mention that he is really serious about our realtionship and he wants us to get engaged and have a family together. When I do not mention his ex everything is fine and I feel happy and he does too. I know our feelings are real but I feel bad that his ex is still part of our lives and I dont know if she is just a psychopath or not.
You seem to misunderstand that you counter stalked this girl when you catfished her. What you did was just as illegal and psyco.
I know it was wrong. But I was lost in anxiety and I was so mad at what she was doing that I couldn’t think of another way to find out. I did it once but she has done it all the time and she still does. I had a powerful reason to react like I did.
You should remove contact with her and decide whether to trust him or leave him. I know it sounds tough. My fiancé and I had a rough start. I was crazy jealous but he was actually cheating. Eventually we were fighting everyday and he kicked me out. I stayed away from him for a while and learned from other relationships he cheated because my jealousy was way too much. I was border line stalking him and crossed many boundaries. We became friends soon after I became a healthy person and now we’re engaged and expecting baby #4. But even if we did not end up together, I’d still be happy letting go of my jealousy.
I know and actually that is what I am trying to do. I want to believe in him because after all we have gone through he still wants to share his life with me and wants us to get engaged at some point in the near future. I know that only someone who deeply loves you can have such thoughts. I talked to him again today and he said that my doubts and jealousy makes him feel bad with himself because he feels like he is destroying me mentally eventhough he is honest to me. He wants us to be happy without me mentioning his ex all the time. I know he is right abt this…I get really obsessive sometimes. But I cant help it. I feel like maybe im the one destroying everything…😔