“My ex is toxic but I want to stay friends”

I have an ex girlfriend who is a very toxic person sometimes. None of my friends like her anymore, even though they did at the start, and not because of anything I’ve said to them (which was little) but because of how they have seen her behave. None of them tried to break us up and they didn’t even tell me until after I had made the choice to do so. Breaking up and moving to a new city two hours away (where my friends are) has not been the issue for me.

It’s needed and allows me to continue to progress and just focus on myself for a while. I just recently discovered the depth of her deception and lies and it of course hurt, now I’ve come to terms with it and can’t help but wonder if I’m still able keep a friendship now that I know she can’t be trusted? I feel like I can better protect myself emotionally, we had some really good moments too and I guess that’s what makes it confusing.

My struggle is with the idea of completely cutting off contact. I don’t know if I’m a fool to hold on to the hope she will one day mature and change her ways over the next few years (she’s still young) or if I should just walk away now and never look back. I hate removing people that I care about from my life and I never fully stopped talking to my last ex and eventually she did mature to a level I can be friends with her so I’m hoping for the same here. Should I still keep a bit of contact and give her the chance to grow on her own and if she does we can build a friendship? Or am I just asking for continued drama in my life?

One thought on ““My ex is toxic but I want to stay friends”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hmm. I’m a alcoholic, but if I just leave this beer here maybe it will grow and change and become nonalcoholic.

    ^ See what I did there? Maybe she will but until then she’s still toxic and not likely to. Cut all ties. Don’t let her have anymore power in your life.

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