I’ve been dating the same guy for about 6 months and we’ve fallen apart, he even agrees with me. But every time I talk about fixing us, or breaking up, he curves around it. We only text a little and never talk or see each other in person anymore.
His phone was taken and he’s now living elsewhere, but promises me he’ll be back next year for school. When idk if we can last that long. We’ve been so distanced. We still say I love you but it feels to me like there isn’t power to that anymore. We decided we’d try to last till he comes back next year. But he hasn’t been there the whole summer, now its the second month of school and we still don’t talk much. Through the summer I’ve been speaking to who I thought was an ex crush. And I even told my bf I liked him, when my bf and I weren’t speaking for a while. We talked all summer and became really close. Giving each other nicknames and making each other really happy. I’ve depended on him being there, and he always made sure he was. Even if that meant going to a store just to text me or using his mother’s phone. He talked me out of almost hurting myself several times.
We were playing truth and dare and he dared me to hug him so I said I would. At school we hugged. And spoke very little at the start cause we both were really nervous. But now we talk all the time and hug cause we like hugging and he puts his arm around me on the bus, at lunch, and just walking in the hall. He says he likes me and is falling almost completely for me, he tries not to, but its hard for him.
He knows I like him and he knows I feel comfy in his arms, leaning on him. We talk about random things. And us. I let my friend read my texts between several people. My bf and the other boy included in these messages. My friend said it seemed like my bf didn’t care and the other guy loves me. I blushed a little and said idk. I would break up with my bf but we’ve done so much stuff together. I even planned our wedding and I never want to hurt him. I can’t.
Although we don’t speak often, I miss how we used to be. He’s seen part of me that wasn’t that pretty and the same about me to him. We’ve spoken about our wedding and life in the future. With the other guy he wants to buy me a castle and make me his princess, with anything I want pretty much. He wants everything perfect for me and he listens to what I have to say.
He holds me close and makes sure no one hurts me. He hurts himself punching walls when I speak about me being sad from my bf. We spoke about fostering a baby and how he wants to kiss me and take me to a fancy dinner. I don’t want to hurt either of them. My bf has no clue about the other guy but the other guy knows about my bf and he isn’t backing down. Idk what to do, any ideas on what I should do??
One thought on ““I want to be with both of them””
As to hurting yourself please talk to your parents or a counselor for help. A boy is not going to solve those issues and will only compound them and make them worse over time. No other person can complete you or make you happy. Only you can do that.
Guy number 2 looks good on paper, but to be frank boys like that get board and move on quickly after they “have” you. Guy number 1’s relationship is dead. He’s ghosted you and is too much of a coward to end it.
Guy number 2 is going to promise you the world and never deliver. Punching the wall or anything or anyone is not a mature reaction and that’s your sign to move on like yesterday.
You aren’t ready for a child of any kind if you have to ask these questions. You aren’t ready for a commitment and neither of these relationships are going to last. If you read this five years from now you will be embarrassed once you see how neither of these plays out at all.