Hi, I am a 26 year old man, I have recently entered what I believe to be and would like to be a serious relationship. I have some issues that I don’t know how to address. My new girlfriend is pretty good to me and seems to be loyal to the relationship.
That being said, there are several of her past intimate partners that she doesn’t want to let go of. I’m not normally a jealous person, but I’ve also never had to deal with this issue before. The primary issue is that most of her previous partners were friends of hers long before the intimacy started, and have remained friend’s after.
My issue is that when I mention having an issue with them still being around her and communicating with her, I always get excuses and reasons why I shouldn’t worry. Am I wrong for having a problem? Or is she wrong for keeping them around knowing that its an issue for me?
One thought on ““I don’t know how to deal with her ex’s””
I have lots of old boyfriends as friends. There is literally zero chance that I would have sex with them again or for the first time. They may be gasp friends. Now I’m not stupid. I’m aware that they would hit it again given the chance and circumstances, but that doesn’t mean I would ever let them. The real issue isn’t that they are there. It’s that you don’t trust her. Why is that? I can’t answer that. That may take a licensed therapist to work through your own fears before you lose her. If she was actually doing things that were not trustworthy, but she’s not, then move on. There’s nothing you can do that will make a cheater not cheat. You can only change you, not her.