“I was drunk and I felt raped”

My ex boyfriend had sex with me when I was in and out of consciousness after a night of drinking. He was completely sober and we had a fight that night. I came over to his place, leaving my friends at a bar, because he had accused me over text of staying out late to get drunk, and hook up with someone random.

I was so drunk and upset, that I left my friends immediately and stumbled over to his apartment. I was crying and thought we would just cuddle and go to sleep. I woke up with him on top of me and then blacked out again. I felt raped but didn’t say anything until a few months later after we broke up. When I confronted him, he said I had said yes and it was my fault, and then he immediately blocked me. What he did is making me really depressed and I started having mild hallucinations when I get really stressed about it. We go to the same university and I’m terrified I’ll run into him. I reported him to the university, but he actually brought in a lawyer and used some loop hole so he didn’t even have to talk to the university. The university said there was nothing they could do. Please send me some advice.


6 thoughts on ““I was drunk and I felt raped”

  1. thearsonist says:

    I’m so sorry you had to go through this. Maybe go to the police directly I don’t know where you live or how it works there. But the best thing to do is to go to the law.

  2. kb232 says:

    My best advice would be to never let anyone stop you from getting the help you need. If that means going to the police and you’re comfortable with that definitely do it. The biggest thing I learned is that you can never allow others to dictate your story. Whether that is reporting the crime, or how you deal with the feelings that will inevitably come. Be strong and do what YOU need to do to help heal.

  3. liberated558 says:

    I’m wondering how you are doing now? You hold absolutely no fault and be assured that what you have described is the definition of rape. Many of us can relate on so many levels. As someone else stated, do what you need to do, you owe no one and the blame falls on him. The uni has a duty of care that they are failing. What do you feel you want/need to do? I hope you’re getting the help you need

  4. Anonymous says:

    I agree with all of the above. Definitely try to make an appt for counseling, I think you would really benefit from it with such a traumatic event.

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