“I still think about my ex after 3 years”

I woke up this morning from dreaming about my ex all night. We dated on and off, for about 6 years. We have been broken up for close to 3 years. I can’t seem to let him go. I dream about him often, even on days that I haven’t even thought about him.

I still run into him with his new GF at festivals. I guess that’s not going to change, because that’s how we met. We both love the music scene. I’m not sure why I can’t seem to let go. I left him for many reasons, he was not a good BF, he was not a man, he could not grow up or treat me right. I gave him so many chances to fix himself, but by the time he had started making changes I was already over it. He broke my heart into a million pieces over and over again. It has been the greatest heart break, but some of my most fondest memories, all at once. How do I let go? Why can’t I? Does he still think about me? Is it because we are still some how connected? We’ve always said we were soul mates. I guess I never really stopped thinking about him, but I just shut down for years, went numb. And maybe now that I’m ready to be in a relationship I’m finally dealing with it? I’m not sure.

I can’t really speak to anyone about it because it’s old news, everyone is tired of hearing about it. It’s really pathetic actually, but what am I supposed to do? It’s my subconscious that keeps bringing him up. Throughout the day, I don’t sit here and wallow about the past. I go about my day like anybody else. I have a good job, I live in my favorite city, I’m looking for my own place and I have a man that loves me and wants to make a life with me, but still I can’t move forward. Is this just the process? Or is the universe trying to tell me something? Am I supposed to be with him and he’s still trying to figure it out as well? It’s been years. I should be over him, but something keeps pulling me back to him and I just can’t explain it.

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on ““I still think about my ex after 3 years”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think you might need to talk to a therapist for depression and obsession. I don’t believe in soul mates, but I do believe in that it takes a long time to get over people, even the toxic ones. it’s hard because I know how it feels to run into a ex and have all those feelings come back again, that’s why I think you need a professional to help you work through it this time.

    I believe in you. Best wishes.

  2. Beatrice lemon says:

    I really relate to this. I wish I could ask you about how you feel in your current relationship. You said current man is in love with you, but how do you feel about him? Loving someone nd being in love are different things. Does the ex also have these cant let it go type feelings? Its just troubling that he’s done you dirty in the past. How long have you been broken up? Maybe you just have yet to meet the right person. Gotta say, even when youre happy with someone new, the feelings you had for the ex will never go away, if you truly loved someone, you always will. The difference should be you’re no longer IN love with them.

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s