“I miss my best friend”

I have a question, well, it is almost more like a long-winded life story that requires a solution to solidify a happy ending.

Here goes. In Grade 8, I changed schools, and I met my best friend, I’ll call him Marty. Anyway, at first, Marty and I were indifferent towards each other, until one day, we started speaking, and then we discovered that we were cut from the same cloth, if you will. From then on, we were inseparable. In the beginning of our Grade 9 year, Marty and I started dating, but the relationship, although absolutely wonderful, was short-lived, lasting just longer than a month. Marty ended our relationship very abruptly, and, as I found out later, this was because he has issues with trust, and, apparently, did not believe that I was really the person that I made myself out to be. Regardless, the split broke my 15-year-old heart, as far as a 15 year-old’s heart can be broken.

I was devastated and sought comfort in a group of girls, who introduced my young self to weed, alcohol, and other mind-numbing substances. I spent the remainder of my Grade 9 year, completely wrapped in a bubble of somber depression and a substance induced haze. I told myself that when Grade 10 came, I would straighten my life out and focus on my studies. And then Grade 10 rolled on in, and, on the first day of the school year, I found out that Marty was in every single one of my classes, except for one. So, I made up my mind to mend bridges, and I did this quite effectively, and in a short while we were inseparable again.

At this time, I had been ensconced in a relationship with one of the town’s “bad boy’s” and although Marty quite obviously did not approve of this, he tried to understand, taking much time attempting to decipher my reasoning. The boy I was in a relationship with did not approve of my friendship with Marty, as he felt that Marty was a threat, and after seven months of me reassuring him that he had nothing to worry about, I found out that he had been sleeping with more than one girl behind my back, and effectively broke things off. Marty asked why we were no longer together, and when I told him that there were trust issues between me and the ex, he felt as if this was his fault, and distanced himself from me yet again, which he later justified by saying that he did not want to ruin my life anymore than he already had.

The loss of the two most important people in my life ripped me apart, and again a sought comfort from my illegal activities once again, to the point that I was subject to more than one intervention and a week long stint in rehab. As part of my recovery process, my teachers arranged for me to go on a three week long leadership camp. To my surprise, there was Marty. We bonded beyond measure during this time and came home closer than ever. Everything seemed perfect, we were back to being best friends again and this was built on complete honesty from both sides, a friendship we built to last.

Things continued wonderfully, until recently, when he got into a fight with one of our closest mutual friends, supposedly over me. Ever since that day, he has not uttered more than six sentences to me, and I have to endure this during school and out of school, as we are involved in the same afternoon and weekend activities as well. Marty has hurt me, repeatedly, completely unintentionally, as he doubts his importance to me, despite how many times I reassured him. He must see what his absence from my life has done to me? He stood by my side throughout the rest of my rehabilitation, and encouraged me unendingly, even though he has extreme issues of his own, which I simply do not have the capacity to help him with, I can only be there for him, as he was for me, but I can’t if he will not let me.

All that I know is that I miss my best friend immensely and I can see that he is struggling, but I have no idea how to reach out to him. How do I confront him about his silence towards me? Should I confront him? Please give me advice.

One thought on ““I miss my best friend”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I would speak to your school counselor and parents about this. Do not confront Marty and let him work out things on his own. If he brings it up you can tell him your feelings then. Remember, you are not responsible for his mental wellbeing. You can support him however and send him ONE thinking of you card. Do not send more. Do not throw your feelings into the card. This wasn’t something you did and had no control over so you should not have to pay for it. Eventually you will be angry that he dumped your friendship twice for people who were not there for him and move on. It will be rough and that’s why you need your parents and counselor to have your back if nothing more than to vent to. hugs Best of luck to you. High school is hard, but part of the process of growing up. Anyone who tells you that these are the best years of your life is deluded.

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